Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Ways to respond to I love you

I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend today, when he said "I'll see you later, hun" or something like that...I heard (the most dreaded sentence ever) "I love you, hun."  Seriously? Already? Ew! No.

My (eloquent and professional as ever response) was..."Get the *$% out of my house."  Classy, right?  The sheer desire to vomit on his shoes was overwhelming...yet, as I laugh over the miscommunication, I wonder if there are other ways to handle the "I love you/I don't love you back" situation.

So, in tribute to my toots, ten responses to "I love you"

1) What was that? No sorry, still can't hear...oh look the circus - Pretend you can't hear them and distract.  It can be anything - guys are relatively simple.  "Oh look, beer" or "Oh look, a short skirt" or even "Oh look, Justin Beiber"...doesn't matter...just use it.

2)  Right back atcha... The point of this is to avoid saying anything...it can be followed by buddy, chum, pal, friend...a gentle punch to the shoulder and laugh it off...he did mean it like a friend, right?

3) Throw up -- This is not recommended as it hurts and you know, someone's gotta clean it up...but it get's the point across.

4) That's nice - This one isn't friendly...it's a little cold.  But sometimes it's a good thing to be an ice queen.

5) No you don't -- Make sure they understand they don't really love you...it's the booze, bad chicken, dopamine, hormones, really good sex...repeat several times with a shiny watch in front of their eyes if necessary (use an Austrian accent for brownie points).

6) I love you too -- I'd try the other nine responses (except for maybe 3) but if you really feel that way...Say it.  If you don't and feel like lying...grow a vagina (balls are weak and lady parts can handle childbirth -- why do we said grow some balls again?) and smarten up.  Just don't lie.

7) We need to talk -- This is generally followed by a lengthy explanation, preferably with beer...or scotch...or tequila.  It doesn't need to be the talk...but talk.

8) Let's get married...and have kids.  C'mon...lets go get started.  I'll go off the pill rightnow! LET ME CALL MY MOM (insert sobs of joy here). Now...if you want to NEVER AGAIN EVER hear "I love you..." this may be the way to go.  Overreact to a point of crazy...think "mental institution" crazy...Start humming "here comes the bride" and ask him to swoop you over the doorways...he'll never. ever. ever. say it again (did I mention ever?).

9) Thank you My mother and I are at odds about whether this is a good one to use.  I say it's at least an acknowledgment...she says it's not the right thing to say...I say it' s better than throwing up on his shoes....

10) Get the ^&*( out of my house - It worked for me :)

What can I say? I'm slightly jaded at the ripe old age of between 25-27.  


Sunday, November 4, 2012

Haunted America

So as I'm sick today, I thought it would be a wonderful idea to watch ghost stories...with a fever...and my eyes closed...crap.

I am currently thinking I'm going to watch Care Bears all night as not to have too many nightmares. 

Saturday, November 3, 2012

The wonders of the Internet

I have this thought about the internet - it really causes more stress than it's worth sometimes.  For example, I could find out information on my ex, his new gf, his family, friends etc...But I don't want to.  I mean, why would I?  It would hurt me and do absolutely no good - but it's right there.  It's right by my fingers...

Curiosity is a good thing but if you're reading something that makes you unhappy - don't read it.  Walk away and pretend it NEVER existed.  It's hard sometimes (mostly because you're hoping that people have changed or maybe just fell in front of a crowd of people...I dunno...something) but just delete it from your favorites and ignore it forever.

I've had people say they don't like my blog - well, my advice is not to read it.  If it's not for school, it's not for pleasure obviously...why bother if it just makes you upset?  I mean, this is the place where I'm allowed to say what I'm thinking (within reason) and I've made no qualms about my rules on here:

1) I don't lie (my version of the truth may be different than other peoples as I do believe in fairies and unicorns so if you read about one in my blog, it's true).

2) I'm not always nice (I'm not always nice in real life either - get over it).

3) I delete comments if I don't like them - why? because I can.  Simply put, this is my little sanctuary and I'm just not in a place where I want to deal with other people's issues with my writings.

4) I don't use full names - I made that mistake once and deleted the post because it was stupid to do.  I did it purposefully as well - that was because I don't like him.

5) This blog is not about respect, love, peace and bunnies.  If you want that, check out questionablecontent.  It's not about that either but it always makes me happy...it's about me...and I'm not always loving or respectful...sometimes I'm hateful and mean...but I'll be honest about it.

So again, my blog = my world.  If you don't like it, I honestly wish you the best and hope you enjoy your corner of the web.  It's a nice spot most of the time and I hear you can find just about anything :p

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Dishing about my diet

I realized last night that I spend more time on the bus than I do exercising.  My go-to foods have gone from veggies and hummus to pudding cups and oooh...caramel apple dip.  I'm exhausted all the time, my back is starting to hurt again and I'm not as happy as I was with my body.  So I stepped on the scales.


In 2 weeks, I've gained almost 10lbs.  Now I blame Halloween, stress, schoolwork me.  I got lazy and I gained weight.  I stopped exercising.  I kept eating garbage and my poor tummy is expanding.  So then, as I panicked because I was an epic failure, I realized that it's time to stop pretending.

All that crap I told anyone about being healthy and vegan last year - it was crap.  I stopped eating.  I kept to about 500 calories every day and made myself throw up if I ate anything that made me panic.  I cried almost every night because I was never going to be thin enough and thin enough meant "good enough".  I was warped and I was scared...I finally snapped out of it but I'm not doing that again.  I'm still dealing with the damage that was done.   

But I'm not feeling good at this weight either.  So I made a conscious decision today to eat healthy.  Minimum of 1200 calories.  Get out and walk every day for at least 30 minutes or until I hit 5 hrs per week.  Every week until Christmas.  I get to eat whatever I want (veggie or not) on Friday at Suppertime (This includes a couple beers if I really want to).  This does not mean Friday goes into Saturday, into Sunday etc...

So here's the thing.  I need to learn how to develop a happy medium.  And this time, I'm taking it slowly.

And today, I passed on the cupcake because I just didn't feel like it.  Score 1 for me!

Oh, and a self-promoting plea: follow me on Twitter @Dazedstudent

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Facebook Faux pas of relationships

I like to believe that one can remain friends with "the ex" (insert ominous music here) even after one or the other has started a new relationship.  That being said, Facebook is the devil.  It messes up those lines of privacy that people once had, changed how much we WANT to know about other people, and made it so that we no longer control how much information we GET about the person.

Scenario: Bob and Maddie broke up mutually although Maddie did take it harder.  Bob got a new girlfriend and threw a bunch of pics on FB...Maddie drank a LOT that night to deal with those pesky feelings. 

So what exactly do you do when you start dating?  Here's a list of Top 10 FB do's and do not's when in a relationship:

1) If you can't keep your FB open, delete the person.  Yes it's harmless joking or you're used to it or whatever...that doesn't mean it's okay.  If you think someone may message you saying "lets have a sleepover" you may want to consider deleting them.  If you need to hide things, it's not healthy.  You can still be friends but keep it public - face to face (if it's just joking and he's not ACTUALLY asking you to sleep over). 

2) Relationship status can wait - you don't need to immediately put that you're in a new relationship.  Give it some time...seriously, rebounds don't count so give it a LOT of time.  Other people need time to adjust as well.

3) Pics: You don't need to blast your wall with pictures.  Yes you're full of happy hormones but that doesn't mean that everyone else is (or wants to see it).

4) Talk about who you're okay with and who you're not: If you're only friends with someone by means of FB, it may not be the best idea to keep them on when you get into a serious relationship...think about it - you dated them, they're still hanging around but you don't talk often...but they're a constant reminder to the other gal that you had a sex life before her.  Yes, we get it - you got laid...but if I'm not asking, FB shouldn't be doing the telling.  Friends, family, the pastor of your church...but not the pastor's daughter that you had in your parent's back seat.

5) The girl that's just too flirty - "oh hun, that's soooo funny xoxoxo"...gag.  My poor tummy always lurches when a see a Facebook-a-Ho.  They're the girl (or guy) that doesn't understand what they write lacks tone and any sort of background information (aka: they're not that bright)...so stop being stupid about it!  Don't keep the girl on there that is mushing up your Wall.  It's annoying.

6) Don't keep the boy that the new boyfriend hates: If he's not a friend, really doesn't matter and you know that the two don't get along, is it really going to hurt to let him go?  I'm not saying delete friends or seclude yourself from anyone else - but if you're not a true friend, do you really want to upset him accidentally?

7) Parents/Grandparents - this is always a maybe situation.  If you want privacy, don't expect the new beau to not write on your wall - but perhaps limit some settings?

8) Keep sharp: FB can get out of control very easily.  It's new technology and there are a lot of people that don't understand how to use it properly.  You don't need to advertise your entire life on it. 

9) Avoid Drama: Don't FB the guys ex.  Leave the past in the past...if you need to deal with someone/something, deal with the person you're with - not their baggage.

10) Off-line always matters more - Don't argue online - it never ends well.  The way he treats you offline matters more than stupid rants with the guys that don't involve you on his wall or the fact that he still says "boobies" or...well, just about anything else.  That being said, if he's flirting with someone else, address it.  You've got standards, keep them high. 

FB is like any other tool - use it wisely.  You need to control it, not let it control you.  I find it easier to delete the ex as I don't want to know about their life after.  I'm good - we're over, it's done...and it's too easy to fall back into thinking you like them.  Do what works for you - but keep the other person in mind.  And most importantly...COMMUNICATE!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sometimes you just need to walk away...and other times you need to not let go

I had an awkward conversation with someone who's been a friend for awhile now on the bus.  I realized that I have nothing left to say.  It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him - I was desperately searching to put the right words together, to form that sentence that would take the conversation from forced to natural...but it didn't happen.  I was staring at my friend thinking "I really don't know you, do I?"

The worst part was, as I was thinking that, I also realized that he didn't really care.  I realized that he was perfectly happy keeping me as a friend who caught up on events sometimes and hung out as a last resort...wow, doesn't sound like much of a friend, does it?  Well, he was...I'll give him that.  Last year, he was probably one of the best friends I had but time changes things, people change...life changes.  That's just how it is.  We didn't work on the friendship over the summer, didn't really try and that supported the idea that yeah, it's not going to really work.  I can't be friends with someone that I'm attempting to force words to come out of my mouth...I just can't.  What am I supposed to say? "How's the weather?"  Yeah, I'm not really up for that sort of fake-friendship.

That being said, I've been fortunate enough (or crazy enough) to restart dating my ex-boyfriend.  I'm getting a little tired of that term "Boyfriend."  Everything is fine until I use that term - then it all goes downhill.  Expectations are made, promises are broken, things fall apart...it just gets messy.  But, what else can I call it?  It's a relationship and I'm okay with it. 

He's the sort of guy I don't date - but he's also the sort of guy who's willing to work towards bettering himself and work around my schedule.  Fact is, I used to think he was a massive asshole.  He was a womanizer, a jerk, pushy, egocentric and rather irritating.  He was whiny and basically stuck in a dead end job in his dead end life...then I yelled at him.

Yes, I got angry (surprise, surprise).  He was spewing the same crap over and over again - my girlfriend is a meanie, she did this and that, she cheated, she's not in the relationship...(yep, uh huh) he was dating from the bottom of the barrel..not even in the barrel - dating the rotten leftovers from outside the barrel.

Okay so I was cruel (I choose to believe he choked up a bit and may have cried although he would probably argue that).  Fact is, he was doing the same crap over and over again and expecting different results.

Funny thing is - he listened to me.  He stopped trying to get in my pants and started hanging out as friends.  He also stopped trying to get in OTHER girls pants... He offered to help me with things - from drives to see my boyfriend at the time to just going out for coffee.  When my dog was put down, he called to make sure I was okay.  When my bf and I broke up, he called to make sure I was okay...and didn't hit on me.  He started to give up smoking because it was bugging him...He gave me the space I needed until I finally asked him out.

The funny thing is that I asked him out because I thought I'd get over my ex easier - yep, my plan was to use him and leave him...it was like dating a puppy...cute, fun, but irritating...and then I stopped being so cynical all the time.  He wasn't a jerk...he was a nice guy.  He really is...it's a little weird because I just don't date nice guys.

So when midterms came around, I got stressed and broke up with him...he didn't get upset...he said "okay, let's talk after your tests are over"...my thought was "you're bat-crap crazy" until after midterms were over and I was apologizing for freaking out...

So here I am realizing that I've found true friends that leave (and it's okay) and true boyfriends that are incredible once I give them a chance to be.  So I might not like the label...but I really do like him (a lot).  And he likes my Ludwig von Turdle. 


Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Coming at you from another potty moment

As I was peeing for the 100th time tonight, I realized I never bothered getting over my ex.  Instead I ignored that it hurt.   Why would I actually deal with the pain? It hurts - I want to take a pill and make it better or maybe just forget that it exists and that it's not really dealt with.  It's been tucked away and ignored.

 I ignored the fact that it hurt and that he hurt me and that I'm upset...and I wish he was miserable without me because I'm just that awesome, right?  I realized that I am still shaken because he can do just fine without me.  He doesn't need me or think his life is worse because I'm not in it - He was okay leaving me out of his life...so maybe I'm not that awesome. 

I figured it out.  I don't miss him...I miss my confidence. I miss that sparkle that just sort stopped glittering because he was the first guy after I left Justin that I let close to me.  He was the first guy I wanted to be with longer than a week.  He was the first guy I brought home to my parents...and it hurts.

I think what hurts more is that it's silly that I have to be upset now because I thought one session of crying and ignoring it with Magic Mike would make it better.  I thought that if I slept with my favorite go-to guy, I'd feel better...it didn't.  I thought that if I started dating someone new it would help...surprise, it didn't.

Instead, I'm stuck.  It's no longer about him...it's about me.  I'm upset because I don't feel as kick-ass.  I feel as though I'm going to wind up alone forever because I'm doing something wrong and I don't know what...

And I also feel like I'm turning into a whiny pathetic weenie who should have just hauled up her big girl panties, driven to Freddy and slapped him for not having the balls to come down and break up in person.  While we're at it, who drinks tea and does yoga?  Seriously, grow a pair and take up coffee, scotch and P90-X. 

Mantra: I'm awesome.  I know I'm awesome.  And if I wind up alone, I'll get an amazing awesome dog and name it Tinkerbell or Bunnykins or something so cute, it won't be scary.  

I think I needed to vent...I feel better now.  And glad that I realized that it's not about him but my own insecurities...which, after writing about, are just momentary lapses in judgment. 


Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Not interested in stupidity

What is it about unavailable men?  Seriously, as I sit here, working on studying for a midterm tomorrow, I've realized that maybe I have certain friends that just...suck (I changed this word three times trying to be nicer) .  Yes, he (or she) is nice, smart, funny, sexy as hell...but instead of feeling like we're friends, I feel like a royally ignored bitch. 

First, I'm not a mean, terrible, awful person.  A little cold and callous maybe but NOT this cold-hearted ice queen...and I don't appreciate the look of sheer surprise when I attempt to be a tad nicer because I know he or she is busy.

Because I have attempted to incorporate someone else's busy schedule into my life does not mean I was mean before all this crap -it means that I didn't have to make plans with you...I mean, him.  It was because he actually wanted to hang out and I didn't have to get on my knees and beg...

Secondly, why is there always that guy that I'm willing to throw my cards on the table, take that huge gamble for and know that I'm going to lose out.  Seriously, it's like drugs.  I like the rush, the craziness, the intensity...but then, I'm totally screwed....well, yes, I am...but I'm also hurt.  I just don't get it.  My heart's not getting involved, I don't want to date him, I want friendship but goodness knows, it feels like this is some sort of stupid thing that he's terrified of.  Yeah, I get up - I decided to date someone, you got hurt blah blah blah... but why is someone that terrified of hanging out with me.  I don't bite...hard.

Finally, since when is it acceptable for friends to constantly ignore friends?  Again...I don't bite! What the hell did I do to hurt Mr.Someone?  I just don't get it.

Anyways, I'm sure he's reading this and I'm sure I'll get a tongue lashing...but screw it.  Maybe it's time to find a new friend - But I don't know if I want to...


Friday, October 19, 2012

If only essay writing were this easy

So technically, I have been dating someone for almost a month now.  As I sit here watching "Sex and the City" and drinking cheap strawberry wine (and working on my essay if anyone asks), I've realized two things:

1) I'm okay with prostitution.

2) I really miss my ex.

Realization #1

I'm not saying I want to be a prostitute but what I'm wondering is this: If you're going to do it anyways, why not get paid?  Yes okay, morals obviously get in the way...but really, if you can not only get your nookie-cake AND the new Coach bag?  Really, there's not a lot of difference between casually dating (that is, not looking to get married/in a serious relationship) and prostitution?  The lines are definitely blurred.

Realization #2

I miss my ex (no, not Justin).  I'm one of those girls who doesn't get attached - I'm really bad at it, I generally hate men and if I don't, they're probably gay.  Fact of the matter is, a million this are more important than relationships.  That being said - I fell hard for an uneducated, blond, who was kinda short and of all things, in the army.  F. My. Life.  Seriously...THAT'S what I fall for?  Okay well...I miss him.  He was sweet, made me laugh, made me feel safe...and I wanted to make him happy.  I wanted to make things last...thing is, I'm really bad at relationships.  But, end of the day, we broke up.  It just wasn't working - he started it, I finished it, we were good to go our separate ways. 

Maybe I'm just projecting my issues of relationships onto one guy...maybe.  Or maybe I'm just not happy with being single...or maybe I'm too happy being single.  I dunno...but it doesn't really matter, we broke up.  And here I am now, I have to double check the name I'm saying, if new guy brings him up, I get sad.  I'm just...urgh!  I'm losing my mind here.

New plan...another glass of wine! 

Sunday, October 14, 2012

Dear Justin

Hi there blog world,

I haven't been writing for awhile as I've been overwhelmed and don't know what to say.  But I'm going to start with a letter - to Justin.  For those of you who don't know who he is, he's my husband.  I'd love to say ex-husband but unfortunately, he hasn't divorced me.  He's also the jerk who told me I was crazy when I thought he was cheating on me - so much so that I actually went on medication for depression because "I was crazy."  Justin decided to come to UNBSJ, the school that I have attended for the past 3 years because his new floozy lives in the city apparently.  So here's the letter, full names because hopefully, someday he reads this and hopefully, he realizes what an ass he truly has been. 

Dear Justin,

How dare you?  Who the hell do you think you are to step foot in the city I came to to run away from you?  How dare you invade my space? The space that I made for myself because I was so beaten down by you that I needed something to keep me alive?  How dare you attempt to ruin that for me? 

Well, welcome to my world now.  I have never kept quiet about being in an abusive relationship - that's right, abuse.  I'm sure you don't like that term - that you were abusive.  That you lied to me to a point where I took medication that caused me to try to kill myself, that you called me stupid so much that I believed it, that I was putting you through university for "us"...sorry hun, does your new girlfriend know THAT is the type of person you are?  I could say "were" but I don't think that sadistic type of attitude - that "I'm better than you in all ways" sort of attitude, goes away.

So welcome to UNBSJ - where the people that know me (and that's a lot of people, professors, students, faculty) know that you're abusive.  That you play the sweetheart well - but with me, you don't get to have that mask because I already smashed it.

By the way, I'm far, far from stupid.  My 'stupid' ideas had you emailing to volunteer for me (by the way, who's stupid for not double checking the e-mail address since you knew I was involved with the school?).  My "stupid" brain is graduating this year - with a pretty damn good GPA.  So yeah, you're an idiot for ever saying that.

So since you're here and constantly looking like you're constipated (seriously, you may want to get something checked out), I'm going to make the best of it.  I'm going to smile every time I see you because you truly are a moron.  You lied, cheated, broke my heart, left a lot of psychological damage, but you know what - I'm so much better than that.  Let's just put this out there, I'm just so much better than you.  I'm going to smile because I'm no longer stuck with your red-headed, condescending, paunch-bellied, scarred up, wanna be high school hero, pain-in-the-ass.


Samantha Tinker (same last name).

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Feast or Famine

You know, whenever I say "I'm going to be able to post all the time..." real life kicks me in the ass and says "I'm going to make a liar out of you." So, as I have been MIA for a long time (my apologies), I'm doing my favorite blog-style of listing my summer adventures:

1) Work - I have a full-time job at the museum here on the Rock (not Newfoundland...the other rock...no, not PEI either). While it's irritating at times to be doing database work and working closely with other people (it's a hard transition from what I was doing), it's also amazing.

2) I got a smartphone - that's right folks, I upgraded from my little flip phone (may it rest in pieces) to my Samsung Galaxy so expect pics from here on in.

3) I am still dating K.O. Since I'm not a fan of names on here (incriminating much?), that's all you'll get. K.O is a throwback from the Katy Keene comics in Archie comics. He's kinda wonderful and I definitely lucked out with him (and so did he...and I'm pretty sure he knows it).

4) My sister got married - that's right, she tied the knot to her best friend. After one upsetting cake fiasco (for the record, if anyone is ordering cakes in New Brunswick stay away from Melissa Wetmore...it was a BAD experience and a terrible cake!).

5) I'm working part-time/sometimes full-time as a housecleaner/pet sitter. Better money and more flexible hours so I can work full time and work around it.

6) I'm biking more and even running sometimes...okay, I bike to work...sometimes.

7) I'm now working on homework...

So my apologies for not blogging...ahhh, nah, I'm not really sorry - but I'm going to be writing a little more now :) I hope.

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Happy Canada Day

So I spent my Canada Day in Oromocto with my adorable boyfriend, K (Everyone knows by now how I feel about real names, right?).  Anyways, we had an amazing time...Coras for breakfast, a nap in the afternoon (seriously, naps are severely underrated - people should do it more often), followed by a BBQ of veggie burgers at home and fireworks at night in Fredericton!

How could I ask for a better day?

I got home today - still on Grand Manan for the summer - and start work on the 9th which is good because I'm pretty sure my first paycheck is going directly onto my credit card (ouch).  K is planning to come down sometime this summer (yay) and I'm sure it'll be an adventure. 

Apart from that, I'm off to bed - it's 12:30 here and I'm back into running so sleep is needed.

Friday, June 29, 2012

My mother may be on the next season of 'Hoarders'

Let me just say I love my mother. A lot! She's actually pretty cool - she rescues crazy cats, she raised two crazy kids (plus a bunch of other people's), she feeds me, and I live here rent-free.

Now, my mom is rather awesome but holy crap she likes stuff. Magazines, books, toys from our childhood (Yes, I found my Alvin and the Chipmunk dolls), pieces of wood with screws in them, tins, boxes, bags...ETC ETC ETC!

I'm a minimalist...I like "no stuff"...I like my walls to be decorated but my rule of thumb is "if I have to dust it, I do not want it"...mom's rule of thumb seems to be "If the dust is there, write happy notes in it." We're really not on the same page at all.

Anyways, I started cleaning and have refrained from throwing out most things but I've been dusting up a storm and sweeping and terrorizing Collie-Dog (a cat)...and running from chickens. And convincing my sister I do not want to be thrown in a mudpuddle also known as a pond (if there is no chlorine, I don't want to swim in it. Her words are "it's not a toilet because people don't poop in it much").

Oh, I'm home...I hope I survive :P

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Home again

Well, I'm back on Grand Manan for 9 weeks...that is 63 days. 1512 hours. Oh crap.

First thing to do was check out my new contacts - they're cute and make my eyes blue.

Second thing...clean my room. See, my mom likes stuff. A lot of stuff. My room has been used to hold said stuff. Now, don't get me wrong, it's all things she uses but there's still a LOT of stuff. Thankfully, I'm not so good with stuff but I'm actually an okay organizer. I even convinced her to throw out some things...dad is still around though!

Anyways, I'll definitely be writing a LOT more because there is NOTHING to do here. It's a tad boring. Reading...lots and lots of reading.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

What you need to know about me

1) Ludwig is still alive. She has softshell but I have invested a lot of time and money into making her feel better.

2) Eyoha is back! But he's leaving once again - so I refuse to think about that and will be spending my morning at the mall putting together his "I don't believe you're leaving" present.

3) I have a third-date with K on Saturday.  I'll admit I like him enough that he could hurt me and that's a new place for me to be.  He's sweet though - different from the type I generally tend to date...I hope I'm right though because he just seems special.

4) I'm working on an essay on poetry which is why I wrote my last blog entry - it seemed fitting to get it out there quickly. 

5) I'm picking up a new bra today! I don't know why that's important apart from - I'm excited.

6) I made plans with an old FWB for tonight but will be breaking them.  Funny thing - I don't really want to go on a date with anyone else at the moment.  Even though I've had way too many offers - seriously guys, come on...go find yourselves good girls - I'm good.  I'm okay waiting for K to come down to SJ.

7) I'm excited to go home for my job but I hate coming home to the crap.  I adore my family and I do have the cutest niece in the entire world (I really do!) so I plan to take advantage of that - but as far as going home goes...well, I don't know where home is at the moment...hopefully, it's still the island somewhat.

8) I have had a very odd semester.  I'm procrastinating and putting things off until the last minute but I think it's because I'm enjoying the summer.

9) I am currently pulling my first all nighter in over a year because I need to finish this essay quickly so that I can start studying for exams and so that I can say goodbye to Eyoha and go out with Kevin on Saturday.

10) I don't believe in the 3 date rule.  Please don't buy into it - it's trash.  If you want to sleep with someone, it's up to you but don't ever do it because of a 'rule'...smarten up.


People say it's a game I play...
but do I play it well?
How is it a game if I don't even know the rules?
Or are there even rules to follow, to break?

Am I master and creator of this game?
How is that even possible when others,
oh, others play the game
even better than I.

I just hide losing better.

This stupid game
That makes white knights fall off their horses,
And virtuous women spread their legs...
Nothing but a cruel game? Or more?

Leave the game to those who want to play,
Who juggle knives, hoping to pierce
Another one's heart
Just to spare their own.

I'm not playing a game - I'm lost,
disoriented in the dark,
Trying to find my way out...
And getting shoved back on the field.

I don't know how to juggle.
I don't even know the rules.
I don't know how to play...
But apparently, I'm already a pro.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

A list of truths about me

Sometimes (generally late at night and when I'm tired), I write a few things that I realize about myself...usually it's my most honest sort of blog and maybe a little out there but, here goes!

1) I hate doing spring courses but the professors that I have are amazing!!!

2) I feel terrible for my turtle and if she dies, I'm probably going to break down a little. I'm still trying to find a turtle vet!

3) I can't date more than one guy at a time - even casual dating. I always feel like a ho and it might be old-fashioned but I like learning about one guy and wondering if we'd mesh well.

4) I haven't picked up my papers yet to start phsyio...and yes, my ankle is still crappy.

5) I went on my first 2nd date since March...before that....about a year...oh crap.

6) I cannot sleep without my pillow but I'm pretty sure it makes me wheezy...and it's discoloured.

7) I have watched 4 seasons of top chef in a week while working on school.

8) I use olive oil for everything lately - from makeup remover to making my hair smoother.

9) I can't wait to go home but at the same time, I want to stay here.

10) I had the most awkward moment of my life yesterday. You don't get to hear about that one though :)

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The ideal morning versus the reality


6am - Spring out of bed with a smile. Immediately become inspired by this quote from the Dali Lama:
"Everyday, think as you wake up, ‘today I am fortunate to have woken up, I am alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others, to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings, I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others, I am going to benefit others as much as I can"


11am - roll out of bed, hit floor with a word or two (it's a 3-ft fall), get coffee. Groan as I think of homework. Pee. Try to be happy. Screw it - more coffee.

Hmmm...there is actually a huge difference between my goal and my reality. New plan! Stop falling out of bed!

One busted ankle later

So with a 2-inch blister that looks horrible on the back of my left foot and a sprain that didn't appreciate the 11km run that I did last night, I have a bandage, gauze, 2 socks, and a brace on my foot.

I refuse to get down in the dumps about this. I'm just not. There's still great things that happened today-I got one exam out of the way, got some amazing groceries, have a date tomorrow, bought some amazing soap (it smells yummy) on sale, and it was a great sunny day!

I'm going to the gym tomorrow to work on upper body strength and stretching. I can't put my full weight on my ankle so I'm hoping this will help get me back in running shape but I've basically given up on doing a 1/2 marathon this year.

Apart from that, I've been watching "Monster-in-Laws" and have realized I REALLY appreciate my mother. She's pretty awesome - and calls me when I'm upset about my ankle. I did get pretty down tonight about that - just started crying because I was so frustrated and in pain. I was taking it slow, didn't run on inclines, wore my brace...all the stuff I'm supposed to do...and my ankle just gave out.

As far as the vegan diet goes, can I just say YUM! I love being able to eat a ton of food without worrying about calories as much, knowing that what I'm eating is healthy and tasty...so fingers crossed I can keep this up (provided the caf works with me here).

Anyways, I'm off to bed. Have a great night everybody!!!

Friday, May 25, 2012

no no bad vegan

So before I realized it today, I was downing my typical coffee - 1 sugar twin 1 milk...ah crap! Totally messed up the veganism...wait, did I really? Yes, I drank something with milk in it - but the idea isn't to beat myself up over 2 tbsp of milk - it's to be happy and healthy...which I am.

So next time, I'll remember to go milkless but this time, I'm not worrying about it. I ate a TON of veggies today and fruit and am learning that grapefruit isn't that bad...it's not bacon mind you...but it's not absolutely disgusting either.

In the past, I've had a tendency to obsess over my weight and what I'm not...I'm not super-skinny, or tall blonde or perfect...but I don't care anymore. I've let other people's standards of pretty define me for way too long...I'm adorable!

So as I go out for my nightly run I'll be posting my picture - no makeup, no nice hair, no cute shirt...just me. And you know what...I like me...I don't like hats though.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

sorry guys!

So university is in full swing and I won't be posting as much because I've decided to go back into being vegan and jogging...I realized that although I still doing look mid-20's, someday I will get "old" and I'd like to continue being healthy and not have to slow down as much...

For the record though, Grapefruit for breakfast isn't half as good as bacon and eggs!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

That quote that makes you smile

One of my professors said yesterday that if you think of things that made you happy, you will be happier. While I believe the weather has been leaving me dreary (and in NO mood to write), I think it was very good advice.

This afternoon, I was reading a book - one of those stupid, cheesy teen books about prep school (from the creator of "Gossip Girl" - you get the idea). There was a quote though that just made me smile because it's how I want my life to be:

"Go not where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail"

How amazing is it to believe that my life, my goals and ambitions, hope and dreams, are only just beginning? Everything that I have done so far is just a start...and really, there is no climax. My life is only getting better...and I'm perfectly happy.

So, after an hour long run in the sun, coffee with a new friend, and a purchase of 'Jelly Belly' shower gel only because it smells heavenly, I can honestly say I'm definitely on the path I'm supposed to be.

Robert Frost may have only walked down one path and felt as though he missed out on the other - I decided to skip the path today and walk amidst the trees.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Bloody annoying

You know what bothers me - people who assume that because I have a job at the moment, I'm a spoiled only child who doesn't need to work throughout her entire degree.  I have worked, I work in the summers and I get scholarships because I'm smart.  I'd like to think a 3.5 GPA is pretty good.

I do work - I LIKE working - but I also believe I need a GPA boost to get a little bit higher marks.


Monday, May 14, 2012

Happy Day  

Hey guys, have you ever just had one of those days where you're just happy?  I woke up late which I thought was terrible, but then I realized it was cold out, I needed the sleep and really, I like sleeping in.  Anyways, I'm going to try going for a short walk in a few (I know, those midnight trips are terrible and unsafe and blah blah blah) but I've been so antsy lately, I'd rather push my ankle and know I'm close to res...might just go around campus. 

I met someone new who I'm having coffee with on Thursday - I'm sure you guys will hear ALL about it.  To reiterate the Samantha Rules of Blogging:

1) No real names
2) I do lie at times - accept it.  If you know me, you can ask me in person.
3) I won't tell other people's secrets
4) I will talk about Ludwig as though she is human.  
5) It's my blog therefore, I am always right just because I'm 100% awesome and you're reading this because you love me!

So keep on enjoying folks! I'm going to get to homework! first A- on an English Journal! :D

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Top Tips for FWB

FWB = Friends with Benefits. We've all heard of it, some of us do it and some of us consider it. Now, while it's supposed to be 'uncomplicated', let's be realistic...it's never uncomplicated without a few rules in place. So, before pants come off, have a chat and go through the rules.

1) Make sure you both are good with it - If one person is going to get emotional or clingy, there is absolutely no way you're going to remain friends.

2) Don't really be friends - Look, there are friends you love to pieces, friends you care about, friends you could care about sometimes, and friends that you chat with sometimes. The thing is, you don't even possibly hurt your really good friends. If you wind up hurting a casual friend, well, it sucks but that just means you've lost a drinking buddy - not someone you truly care about. Keep them on the fringe of your social circle.

3) Alcohol will be your buddy - There's something to be said for the power of alcohol. At least for the first little bit. Just drink it.

4) Don't think hooking up means sleeping with - FWB can be anything from just cuddling to sleepovers - it's your choice. There are NO rules or formal arrangements. Just have fun!

5) Be cute - You don't need to be on your A-game 24/7 but shaved legs, trimmed nose hairs, all that...be showered, smell nice...etc etc etc.

6) The Skank Reflex - when your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy, promiscuity rewards you with a flood of dopamine (Hello Big Bang Theory). If you're not enjoying yourself, stop and don't feel bad. If he's not good, stop and really don't feel bad.

7) Don't kiss and tell (much) - You can definitely tell your best friend, your cousin, the person you'll never see...etc etc etc...but hooking up still has a LOT of stigma. Don't do it if you're not prepared to laugh off rumours and keep things on the downlow (no marks, no public handholding, stuff like that).

8) Don't hook up at mommy's house - Keep your life separate. No one wants to explain how 'you're not dating her' to your parents. Let them think better of you.

9) Keep it to a minimum - you don't need 50 FWB. It gets messy. Figure out what works for you and go from there...make sure it works for him too.

10) Have the chat - okay, talk STD's, pregnancy, when/if/where hooking up, all that stuff. Talk about the rules before hand, don't differ from the rules, be smart about it and don't get hurt (and attempt not to hurt others).

Now...to homework.

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Favorite discovered quote

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain."

From the wise mind of Maya Angelou

The 10 pick from youtube

Go to Youtube, pick a band you know - now click on the side links (any of them but if you don't know them, even better) 10 times. Whatever you land on, listen to and actually give it a chance. I found out I like Rita Ora. A little more 'pop' than what I like - but definitely not bad (I started with Lana Del Ray...still not a fan although she invokes some interesting memories).

Anyways, back to Frost - get this done, then off to a friend's house for the evening - then other stuff that probably shouldn't go on my blog ;)


So my friend Eyoha and I have this crazy vision - it involves jumping out of a plane for the fun of it. So...that's what we're doing in June. This is my Birthday/Christmas/I miss Eyoha present to myself and I'm going to do it.

I do believe I'm truly insane.

So is he ;)

Friday, May 11, 2012

oh facepalm...huge facepalm

Have you ever sent out a text and then gone "Crap. I should NOT have sent that." Seriously, just sent a really adorable guy (and amazing kisser) a text saying "hey do you still believe in monogamy?"


Wreck this Journal

So I splurged today in a new book called "Wreck this Journal"...the goal is to go through the book and literally destroy it. On each page, there is a goal - from "drip something here and fold book to make a print" to "eat colourful candy and lick the page"...each day, until done...I'm going to post how I wrecked my journal. Starting with today:

Today, I picked up my journal without using my hands...I used my teeth...thought about my feet but if I ever have to put my tongue on it...I also filled a page up with circles, broke the spine and wrote some thoughts down :) anyways, it was good fun...book tastes a little like plastic though. :)

Thanks guys

I have to send a huge shoutout to the people that put notes on my blogs! I really appreciate the support and love that people send out. I don't think the girl they picked will fail - like I said, she's amazingly awesome and adorable! She really does deserve to be in there and if I lost out, I'm glad they picked her :)

You guys really make my day though! Just the support and motivation I get on a regular basis really makes me happy! So thank you! And continue as I go through my day...I have a new hobby on the go!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

To the 61% of North Carolina residents...

To the residents of North Carolina who voted yes,

Go to a mirror. Tell me what you see.

Have you ever had sex outside of marriage? sinner.

Have you ever lusted (yep, that's right - at the beach, you noticed her booty and had a dirty thought)? Sinner.

Have you ever said a curse word? or disrespected your parents? Have you ever stolen something (anything - even that pencil accidentally)...hmm...sinner.

Have you ever gotten drunk - or heaven forbid, high? -Sinner again.

But look the other way at the things you do every day, the things that are legal - like drinking, adultery, or cursing, and then, throw stones at people who are gay and say it's immoral. Not only is it immoral - but now, it's illegal for gay people to be married in NC?

Really? Because Christians and religious folk and straight people in general aren't screwing marriage up enough as is?

Maybe it should be up to the churches to decide if they're okay with marrying gay people - I'm okay with that. I'm okay with a church saying "No" because they can say no to straight people too! So if it's ever your son or daughter, if it's ever your friend or loved one that comes out of the closet, you have allowed the government to determine a moral issue.

Maybe you should fight for prohibition next...

Feeling better

Although I still can't sleep (for some reason, my body thinks 4am is a good time to go to bed and 11:36 is a good time to get up), I am feeling better about the past month.

I think time does help fix everything - and so does just saying "You know what guys...suck my big toe." I've come to accept that my time is really valuable because I almost always have a hard time FINDING time to do something just for me.

So, instead of holing myself up in my room all the time, I take off to City Market, grab a coffee and work on homework there. Instead of searching for keys (that yes, I do need to take back but I can't find them at the moment), I go for a hobble (I'd say run but I'm still limping).

So here's to living, not just focusing on one thing or another. Here's to a summer of good times, good friends, good days, and happy moments. Here's to just enjoying life! Oh - and here's hoping for SUNSHINE! This rain is making me moldy.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

10 good things today

1) My prof sounds like a radio announcer
2) I got to say "I'm really not picking on the Catholics"
3) I got hair dye for 5.99$ YAY
4) I found my Wheat Puffs - they taste like packing material but are squeeky yummy!
5) I found my book
6) I got blueberry wine (YUMMY)
7) I drank blueberry wine
8) Coffee at Java Moose - I love City Market
9) Drank NO diet pepsi (amazing!!!)
10) I found more poems online so that I don't need to buy a 100$ book (woot woot)

Wine Wondering

A couple minutes before class

As I sit here, waiting for class to start, I realize that I have yet to put my blueberry wine from my tote in the fridge....I have wine. In class. My bad.

The good news is that this is New Brunswick wine and is pretty darn amazing!

Time for class!

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Recipe from the desk of ME!

Okay, so I am planning to have beans and rice tomorrow which, as many of you know, is a staple food in my diet. That being said - rice and beans is a pretty boring meal unless you can add some flavour to it - that's where my recipe comes in.

Easy enough - Make rice, add rinsed canned black beans (or whatever you have kicking around - I prefer black beans though). Then add Ginger Lime Salsa throughout. Make this the night before and see how it goes:

1/2 tomato chopped
1 lime cut into quarters and squeeze (bang the lime around a lot before hand and it gives more juice)
about 1-2 tbsp of ginger (depends on how much you like it)
1/2 medium onion finely chopped
1 pack of sugar or Splenda
a bit of finely cut up hot peppers (whatever kind you want - I like Scottish bonnets because they're so darn cute)

Cut everything up, throw it in a container, chill it overnight, mix in with rice and beans. I'm pretty sure this would be amazing with chicken or make a large batch, heat and serve with taco chips.

Now, a few questions (and even answers)

Q:Why canned beans?
A: Because I'm lazy and don't want to soak beans overnight

Q: Can I used dried spices (ginger, hot peppers)?
A: No! You're not getting the true flavour (or the health benefits). Even I'm not that lazy...and I'm a REALLY lazy cook!

Q: Can I use other ingredients?
Yeppers - but you have to tell me what you used and how it turned out!

Q: I've fallen in love with you because of your cooking - can I marry you?
Sorry, I'm already technically married...if you can convince my good-for-nothing ex to get divorced, I'll consider it. I'll warn you, I'll probably say no though. I'm not a fan of the idea of me getting married again. Unless you're rich. Then we'll talk.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Everyone needs a Charlotte

As I sit here doing homework - okay, watching 'Sex and the City' (movie), I've realized that every girl needs a Charlotte. Now, for all of you who DON'T watch SATC (I personally suggest start), Charlotte is the friend who is boring. She doesn't party, doesn't get into crazy situations, she falls in love and has meaningful relationships, she has a child and is an amazing mom...sounds a little boring honestly.

There is this one moment, when Carrie is supposed to get married and is jilted, see's her boyfriend/fiancee/jiltee and starts hitting him with flowers. Big gets closer to talk to her while she's in Charlotte's arms - and Charlotte does this mother lion thing and just glares and says "NO, NO"...and stops him in his tracks.

Every woman needs a friend who is protective, and caring and may be 'boring' sometimes...but she's the one who's there. She's the one that has advice to help a relationship or a kid that won't sleep. She's the friend that squeals over the good news and announces it to the world but really is the mother-hen of the group.

Now, I'm going back to SATC.

Turtle moments, a sprained ankle and a long day

I had good intentions today...I really did. I planned to go get the UVA/UVB light needed for Ludwig and then come home and do homework...that didn't really happen though.

While walking through the mall, I realized my foot was getting even more sore...and then, I ended up falling as my ankle kind of 'let go'...and no, I wasn't drunk. Turns out I have a bad sprain and will need physio for it to repair the damage. Basically, my ankle has been sprained so many times it's more likely to continue (oh goody).

Ludwig - what an expensive pimped out turtle. She now has the bulb, a temperature gauge on the side of her tank, her rocks...her precious stick, a floating dock...and a calcium stick...oh, and her treats. She is loved...and yet, she hates me. What a girl.

Apart from that, now it's time for me to do homework and get my butt in gear. I want A's this term.


Well, that's interesting

Okay folks,

So my sister is getting married in the summer - August 11th. Are we close? Nope. I'll even say that a lot of this was my fault. I didn't always make the smartest choice when I was younger. That being said, I've done my best to at best, stay out of the way but to say she's frosty is an understatement. She's colder than an icicle in a Yukon winter half the time to me and just ignores me the rest of the time. Recently, I came home for a funeral and I didn't get a text, msg, email, nothing - the only time I saw her was when I invited her up for supper, which for some reason, my mother thought I should be happy about...and I'm digressing.

Mom told me tonight that she was getting 3 of her friends to stand up with her - I guess in a sense, I expected to be part of the wedding party. That's what sisters do, right? Well, apparently not. So I read some online articles about people in the same boat as I. Most said "It's her day, her decision" and I completely accept that...but it ignores the fact that the sister is STILL a little hurt and excluded.

I tend to have anxiety about 'what do people think?' and so, as people are thinking "Yay for the happy couple," I know I'd be wondering why someone's sister wasn't in the bridal party (especially in a small community). In a way, I just don't want to go. I know that sounds mean or I'm going to hear "you'll regret it"...it's an 'in a way' thought. I'll probably be dragged along by somebody but this was sort of that 'last straw' thing. I just want to go home, throw myself into work, ignore everything else except work/volunteer work and go from there.

End of the day, I guess I am a little miffed but it's her day so congrats.

In other news, my friend who was going to call me right back (or text)...the one I decided I wasn't dealing with anymore, apparently doesn't want to be angry with me anymore (okay great) and...even better...got busy with work since...5 days ago. Look, I get busy - funny thing, I really understand it. I also understand common courtesy. I'm just really sick and tired of it and I really am trying to understand it and be 'nice' but there's a part of me that just wants to say 'I'm really done". At that moment, when I texted him that time, he wasn't busy...so thanks for the lack of courtesy.

Again, I'm really having one of those weeks that may go down in history as just being sucky!

Gnight blog-world!

Facebook now Twitter

I have decided for the next 2 months (that is, until June 30 or when I'm done class) I will be off fb and twitter - that's right - I'm running old school. I will not be getting rid of my blog though - this thing is my life some days.

I'm really not sure what to think but if someone really wanted to get in contact with me, I'm sure they could. I can be contacted via the following ways:

e-mail (I will answer within 24 hours) thetinkertimes@gmail.com

Phone - If you email me, I'll give you my number...unless you're a creeper or some pain in the butt, in which case, I'll pretend I'm going through a tunnel and hang up.

Mommy - yep, email her - unless it's about shenanigans then please, don't.

Friday, May 4, 2012

First day off facebook

So apart from one little slip up (I didn't even realize I was going on it), I haven't been on Facebook. I'm not going to lie - I'm kind of an addict. I feel like I'm not going to have any friends, like I'm going to miss out on my entire life - like I'm just completely alone...and that's okay!

This gives me more time to do homework, go places, do things - have fun! Today I read a book for sociology, ran into a friend (was a little short because I didn't have a lot of time as I was reading and that book is NOT simple). I'm going to do the write up tonight and get this assignment out of the way...and then focus on English tomorrow.

Now, I do have a sprained ankle so no jogging for awhile. My left ankle was bad last night but it's hurting today. Ouch.

Apart from that, I broke down and messaged my friend who I wasn't going to talk to anymore - yep, I know - absolutely no resolve. The thing is: if something happened, say he got hurt or something, and the last thing I remember was "wow, we were fighting terribly" I'd feel like an awful person. Now, I still believe he's been a huge jerk...but he's been a good friend before, so hopefully he's smartened up a bit. I hate arguing via text too - too often it's just a misunderstanding - not a real issue. Fingers crossed.

Anyways - off to work on sociology then english then...GRIMM!!!!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

No longer a FB junkie

Well, I'm sure my blog hits are going to suffer for this but I don't really care - I got rid of my FB account. Why, you might ask? It's because I've spent so much time on it recently and honestly, I'm tired of getting updates about everyones life all the time. I just don't care that much. It's been a miserable month and I'm just ready for a break from social media in general.

I'll be staying around with my blog though and I do love my Twitter Account (@tinkertimes).

Let's see how long this lasts!

The one thing I've wanted to say but won't because I'm better than that

To whom it may concern,

Shove it.


Samantha Tinker


So I didn't get the Grad Class Coordinator position but apparently I have a lot of enthusiasm etc etc etc and they're really hoping I'll get involved and...yeah, I kinda stopped reading there.

Okay, why would I really want to get involved at the moment? Once again, I'm not good enough. Yeah yeah, I know, don't take it personally but it's really hard NOT to take this sort of thing personally. It's even harder to just say "Oh goody, why don't I just go rub salt in my wounds of 'taking it personally' and help out while I'm at it?" -no thanks.

So no matter how nicely the email is worded, it's still just an email saying "yep, not good enough"...So thank you for once again reminding me of that. And yes, I'm sad and yes, I'm grumpy but I'm sure the person that got it will do an awesome job and she is a sweetie so at least, if I get a chance to go to these events, it'll be great.

Studying for a test

I have an exam in 2 hours 48 minutes. I have been 'studying' *cough* since 8am. Here's how it looks so far:

-Wake up
-Turn on turtle light
-Watch turtle (now 8:10) and talk to it "awww...who's a cute turtle? You are!"
-Make breakfast (allbran, strawberries, banana, almond milk), eat it.
-Sit at computer, check email (8:20).
-Need to pee. Back from peeing.
-Watch turtle more - insert ooooh aaahhhh here.
-Need coffee - make coffee - drink coffee - love coffee (8:30).
-Check facebook (9:00)
-Talk to mom (now 10:00am)
-Watch turtle more (10:13)
-Decide to blog (10:15)

Crap. Studying failure right here. Time to get back to work.

Ludwig has a friend!

I am the proud new owner of two guppies - Mr. Frank Burns and Ms. Margaret "Hotlips" Hoolihan.

If they live more than 3 days with my cute but skittish (and well-fed so shouldn't have a guppy-snack), turtle I will get pics posted.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Fool me once...

Fool me twice...shame on me. So the person who is in my phone listed under "Just don't" began texting and of course, I answer. And I'm just through with it. There is a huge friggin' difference between being no. 2, 3, 4 etc on the list - but I don't even really think I'm on it...

Apparently though, I'm passive aggressive & he doesn't understand how come I'm upset but he knows I "don't like this situation"...

Sure, that's it entirely - I'm definitely going to get angry over something that's entirely out of his control. Anyways, I have things to do and work to finish up and my parents are coming up tomorrow.

As always, I'll always end up forgiving my friends - it's just what I do...but it doesn't mean this doesn't hurt a lot either. Thing about friendships - there's only so much crap you can take before you realize the manure has overridden the friendship.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

10 Tips for Pooping in Public

I have recently moved from the Mac residence building of UNBSJ to the Dunn Residence (about a 5 minute walk) and have gone from having my own bathroom to sharing two toilets and one shower with the other girls on this floor (I think there are two but I could be entirely wrong).  Now, for those of you who are thinking "I could never share a bathroom" I say  - get over it.  It's not that bad and most of the time, it's not even gross. 

That being said - there are some tips and tricks to keeping your bodily functions from being the talk of the town and keep everyone happy (that being said, if there's someone not following these rules - send them my way...I always love getting 'hits').  So if your bum is sharing a throne - listen up folks!

Top 10 Tips for Communal Potty Usage

1) Flush- Ignore the saying "If it's yellow, let it mellow. If it's brown, flush it down."  Do you know what urine smells like after two days in a warm bathroom? I do. It's not pleasant.  No one wants to flush your pee or worse, have it splash on them when they are peeing.  Graphic images people, graphic images.

2) Don't wait until you're dancing- We've all waited until we 'reallyneedtogorightnow' but what if you're doing the potty dance...and the stalls are full (also, don't wait until the last minute to grab a shower either because someone could be in there).  It's unpleasant and can cause bladder infections - painful.

3) Sanitation- Wash your friggin' hands and wash them well!  This absolutely grosses me out and I am one of those people that will wrap the door handle in paper towel if you leave without washing.  Also, it's really obvious to figure out who it is because you can hear water running, rinse, leave if they wash.

4) Just do it- Say it with me "Everybody poops"...I cannot believe I am writing this.  Okay folks, if you're using a communal bathroom, it's expected - and while it's not pleasant you can either find a single person bathroom (there is usually one in the building) or you can wait until no one is around - or you can bring in your own air freshener...but just do it. (I feel like I should ask KP for advice on this - she lived in the Dunn last year on the 3rd floor). That being said grunts, groans, and other weird noises should be kept to a minimum.

5) Some things need to be done in your room- Okay folks, if you need to wash your delicates, clip your toenails, any sexual encounters, waxing areas of your body you don't generally show off (umm...waxing in general - it makes me cringe) and your bulimia problem should all be kept in your room.  For the record on the last thing, bulimia is a serious illness which should never be taken lightly but you don't necessarily need your entire floor to know your business either - especially if already getting help.  If you're flu-sick, throw up wherever, if you're making yourself sick, call a doctor or talk to someone and get help.  It is a hard situation though when you're a floormate trying to figure out if someone just has stomach issues or if they're making themselves sick - insert awkward conversation. 

6) What you hear is forgotten - So you walked in and 2 people are on the throne having a conversation about something private - herpes outbreak, sex with a first cousin, I dunno, something you weren't supposed to hear.  Walk out of washroom and pretend you heard nothing.  That is NONE of your business. This also goes for weird bathroom noises. The pooper has the responsibility to keep grunting to a minimum...the poopee (nope, that doesn't work) other person should not acknowledge it. 

7) It's not romantic when - Public washrooms are not the place to hook up.  Do you understand me? Do not do it.  Ever.  If you THINK you can get caught, don't do it...and hint, it's a public bathroom - you can ALWAYS get caught.  Showering is a grey area.  If I don't know about it, I don't care - but I would suggest don't. 

8) Respect thy Cleaning Lady- Our cleaning lady is Irene.  She is a lovely woman with a son and a husband, speaks great french, likes coffee and has the best personality ever!  Respect her.  This means: don't leave trash in the halls, don't party and expect 'someone else' will clean it up, help her by opening the door for her, get her thank you flowers/chocolates/etc.  Oh, and don't put your garbage in the communal trash bins.  Take it to the dumpster.  If you're really THAT lazy that you would expect an older lady to clean up your personal trash, you're an ass.  Now, for the bathrooms - clean up your stuff. It's simple...wash shaving cream off shower before it dries, don't leave all your crap in the bathroom - stuff like that.

9) Respect thy neighbours- This includes but is not limited to: voice down in the halls, share the communal areas, be polite, do not wake thy grumpy neighbour up at 2am after staggering home from the bar.  One of my most memorable res moments was first year, some guy kept playing his music/talking on Skype at about 4am.  I offered to launch his butt into the dumpster while in a t-shirt, underwear and crazy bed-head hair.  It was not a 'nice Sammy' moment but "soft kitty" wasn't invented back then and I was sleepy.  It can be something as simple as offering to help them with groceries...be nice...and DO NOT TAKE 3 HOUR SHOWERS!  See, communal pooping rules have outside rules too!

10) Safety- Do NOT let them in though unless you know who they are. "Tailgating" - letting a stranger follow you in - means there's someone you don't know and realistically, who's to say they don't haul out a knife, take you back to your room, and murder you?  Okay, that's extreme - but it's possible. Over 60% of campus rapes happen in the person's personal dorm room. Generally, alcohol is involved but be safe.  You wouldn't let a stranger into your house - don't let them into your res. This has nothing to do with communal bathroom rules but I couldn't think of a 10th and it's almost 2am.

Time for bed folks!  Gnight and enjoy your shared potty! 

Sunday, April 29, 2012

Figured it out

Of course, I've said it before - the best brainwaves come to me while peeing. I don't understand the bladder/brain connection but I'll take it.

I've 'let go' of a friend recently - he's now in my phone as "Just don't text/answer" because I don't have caller ID, he's off my FB, not a Twitter-addict, so the bridge's haven't been burned - but they've been detoured around me.

I finally figured out why I did this though. My ex-husband used to always think the worst of me - I wasn't smart enough, pretty enough, was doing things wrong, I broke something, anything he could use to attack me, he did and he was good at it. I never felt lower than when he went in for a verbal attack and I really was worthless in my mind...and perhaps in his. I was too emotional, always overreacting, crazy, whatever he could throw at me, he did it in spades.

Now, don't get me wrong, my friend has NOT done that...but he does jump to thinking the worst with me before he even realizes what he's doing...and I internalize it and begin to question myself, stress about it, and feel badly for it. I started to question if it was an image problem - something I was doing or saying that was 'wrong'...but even if it was, for someone to think the worst of a friend - that doesn't add up.

Fact is, I don't want to be the person that screws everything up - heard that one before. I don't want to be the person who is constantly looking over her shoulder either, wondering if what I do is right or wrong or perceived a certain way. Thanks but no thanks. I did that years ago and it doesn't work - people think what they want to think.

So I figured it out in my 30-second bathroom run - and if I thought I could change how I felt about this, I probably would - but sometimes, it's easier to let go for awhile, reevaluate everything and go from there.

Saturday, April 28, 2012

Hold on or let go

There are moments I tend to avoid - the awkward bumping into the ex moment, the moment where you have a huge chunk of spinach in your teeth right before doing an interview, the moment where you break down over something stupid just because it's a bad day and the moment when you give up on a friendship.

Like every other relationship, friendships take two people - and sometimes, due to extenuating circumstances or complete stupidity, friendships break. Sometimes it's an 'uncontested' break - the two friends just stopped hanging out, had different interests etc. Sometimes, it's petty - jealousy, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend. Other times, it's just because while one person is trying - there's just absolutely no reception. There's only so many times (And I'll admit - people get a LOT) a person can be rejected, dejected, passed off, excused, etc etc ETC...before it's just enough.

I'd rather look like an idiot and attempt to keep a friend through trials and stress in their life, but there comes a point when I give up.

I'll never admit to being 'the perfect friend' - If stressed, I'm a terrible person to be around. I snore. I get irritated easily. I have the attention span of a blowfly. I constantly change my mind. I can even be mean sometimes - that's right, downright mean...but I'm persistent. I want to be engaged in my friends lives, do what I can to help - even just offer cookies or coffee breaks. I want to do what I can to support them - but after awhile, it starts to get really personal.

So, I give up...funny how it's easier to think those words than it is to actually write them.

The night owls guide to University

I have a dilemma - while not extremely serious, I am wondering how I am going to deal with this. I am a night owl - I spent 10 hours in my chair this morning/afternoon doing everything BUT study - I tried...I ended up getting distracted throughout the day though.

Here it is almost 1am and I'm writing down essay ideas for my exam like crazy! It's rather awesome however...

What happens when I actually need to get a 'real' job that has set hours? I'm assuming my strongest work will be done at night no matter what - but the problem is I still will be working 9-5 or so...and I'm rather useless before noon.

So what do I do? While I am trying - and I am trying hard - I wonder if there is a way to LEARN to be a day person, not a night person.

Like I said, what do I do?

Thursday, April 26, 2012

100 books over the summer

So, as many people know - I have goals over the summer and typically, they're good ones...don't die, don't get arrested...read a LOT. So, I'll be keeping record of the books I read (the good, the bad, and the trashy) on my blog with a very short description of them once read. They will be labelled 100 books 2012

Currently, I am working on:

1. The Fat Girls Guide to Life - Wendy Shanker explains that she is a fat girl and she's accepted it. Now she wants everyone else to accept their body too. It's interesting to skim but honestly, unless you get it for 25 cents like I did, don't bother.  I won't be keeping this one around.

4. Extreme Cuisine - Lonely Planet put out a book of exotic (aka gross) food that people could try if willing - I don't know as I'm willing.

2. Dear Jo- Christina Kilbourne (just started)

3. So Hard to Say
- Alex Sanchez - Teenager has to admit he's gay.  This book had a decent plot but was rather juvenile.  I wasn't a huge fan, the writing was 'meh' and I could get the same story watching Glee.

May 1
5. The Other Boleyn Girl - Phillipa Gregory - I can't put this book down.  Absolutely love it! It's historical fiction surrounding the many (and there were many) trysts of King Henry.

6. The Nanny Diaries - If you haven't read it (or worse, watched the movie), go pick up a copy and read it.  Grover is lovable and still a real child, Nanny is well rounded.  My only complaint was that she had way too much time as a student. 

7. Monster Planet - The world is taken over by zombies, some of which have brains.  What better way to make money than sell human flesh, right? (Just started)

May 6

8. The Prairie Bridesmaid - I'm pretty sure this book was written for me: girl keeps going back to abusive boyfriend until her friends step in.  She finds out, after truly leaving, what makes her happy.  I absolutely loved this book.  It had the right amount of humour, compassion between friends, and although was a 'break up book' didn't make me feel depressed.  Oh, and it's Canadian :) 

9. Hollywood Dream- Yes, another melodramatic girly book depicting a woman who falls in love at the most horrible time and has to travel across the world to fix her mistakes.  If you're a fan of fashion or just want a good, summer afternoon with a glass of wine book, check it out!

May 18

10) Hope In A Jar- I liked it just because it's a 'fun read'...about a girl that finds her boyfriend cheating and tries to transform herself before her 20th high school reunion (ended up loving it - good summer read)

11) Unforgettable - Just another good read, spoiled girls at boarding school

12) Artemis Fowl - Seems interesting enough...and ended up hating it!

May 24

13) The Borgais Bride- Loved it enough I'll never give it up. One of my favorite summer reads already 

14) Crank - While I suppose most people would call this poetry, to me - the ramblings of a crack head just don't seem overly poetic and makes a good story. 

June 27

15) Violets Are Blue

16) The Scarpetta Factor

17) Pirate Latitudes

18) Dating Detox

July 3

19) Waking the Witch - Kelly Armstrong

20) Frostbitten - Kelly Armstrong

21) The Beach House - Patterson

22) Swimsuits - Patterson

23) The Walking Dead Comic Series

24) Chew Comic Series

25) The BFG

26) Runaway Ralph

27) Odd Mom Out - love this book

28) Reversible Errors- Scott Turow

29) 2nd Chance - Patterson

30) Kiss the Girls - Patterson - another one of my favorites

31) The Beach Road - Patterson (I'm on a kick with the patterson books, eh?) - read this! one of my newest favorite books!

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Writing is a superpower

As I'm venturing out beyond 'journalism' in my writing, I've realized something about myself - it's not about the "job", it's about the passion I have for the work I do. Writing is a way for me to leave my mark on the world, a way for me to impact enormous amounts of people (someday) by what I have put on paper.

I am actually at peace with my writing now - not stressed out about what my bosses are going to think or what the repercussions of dropping an F*bomb may be. I love writing because of what I can accomplish with it - I can preserve a memory, I can stop time. How many other activities do you get to have a superpower?

Beyond language is emotion

Major (Ret'd) Harold A. Skaarup told two other stories that broke my heart once again. After listening to Stephen Puddicomb speak, I'm still not really 'over it' and I just wanted to run out of the auditorium but as always, I'm so glad I stayed.

He told us a story of ten villagers who didn't speak his language but linked arms to stop them from hitting a mine in the road. They couldn't thanks the strangers because there would be retaliation but these people risked their lives to save his.

The second story involved a man running towards Skaarup's convey, arms flailing wildly. Of course, numerous guns were aimed on him quickly - who was he? Was he dangerous? What did he want? There was a flash flood that had caught two children. One was rescued but the other, a little girl, was still under the water. The water was sludge and sewage but one of the men Skaarup was with jumped in and hauled the little girl out. In the water, he began giving her mouth-to-mouth but no one was able to say it had been too long - about 15 minutes. The little girl was dead. The villagers came around to the man and although they couldn't speak in his language, just put their hands on his shoulder to say 'it's okay, we know you tried.' The power of these sorts of stories - the ones that aren't told - are just overwhelming. The village had previously been hostile but because of this, because this man had tried to save this little girl, they were always welcome.

I can't really state an overarching moral or life-lesson to this story - it's heartbreaking and sad - but the power that was in those words, the crack in his voice, the apology for showing true emotion, that's true humanity. It's more powerful than a few words on a blog - but it needs to be remembered.

Skaarup left us with this and so, I'm going to finish with it.

"We are not over there to fix the problem...We're trying to keep it there so it doesn't come here."

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Looking for Lost Canadian History

Harold Skaarup is not the average historian from what I can tell - he's tall, short, white hair, clear, sharp eyes, and a deep voice.  He reminds me, in ways, of Race Bannon, a body/security guard in the cartoon 'The Adventures of Jonny Quest' which makes sense, I suppose, since Skaarup is newly retired from the army.  In a white, short sleeved button up t-shirt, black casual vest, and dark pants, he wasn't intimidating but definitely had my attention.  He picked me out and asked if I was writing for something or doing homework - I replied that I blog.  He told me not to believe everything I hear from him - I told him if people believed everything on my blog, I'd appear to be a terrible person.  People do have their own perception.

Skaarup introduced himself without saying his name - he began by explaining New Brunswicker's were famous for their storytelling, which was a tool for bridge building, forging relationships.  He explained he was working in Kabo with a team of 27 people from 14 countries.  I sat, interested of course, but trying to understand what this had to do with any sort of history.  He had to learn to say 'good morning' to each of these people in their language.  If he said hello to one person and not the other, the person he ignored was sulky all day.  It was easier to greet them all.  In his interactions, he learned about their culture and continued (admittedly, I'm still interested and confused).

He told us a joke - a snail gets on a turtles back and is excited because it's a fast ride - the joke was not the point so, I didn't write it down.  To the Germans, a joke is serious - you say it seriously (of course, Skaarup said the joke in German -I am impressed).  To the Turkish people, a joke is quiet because otherwise, it is assumed the person telling the joke loudly is drunk and that is immoral - so he tells the joke (in yet another language).  Then...the Italians - he has hand gestures and movements and loudly explains...it's a full body experience to tell a joke!

He explained that, in Bosnia, when asking if a road was safe, a Turkish man asked about the weather.  Skaarup thought this man was avoiding the topic.  The  Turkish man asked about Skaarup's family - which didn't make sense either at the time.  Skaarup explained that culture and interaction were not amiss in this situation.  The weather was crucial because the enemies would place mines in banks along the roads - when the heavy rains came - the mud washed down (as did the mines) and the road was unsafe.  His family was of interest because "An officer who doesn't take care of his family is unlikely to take care of his men."  The story of joke telling began to make sense - every culture is different but writing it off because it's different could be deadly.

The topic of the night was "Looking for Lost Canadian History" and Skaarup asked for the help of the audience in the room.  There are writings of Norse origin on Ontario (Peterburough) - doesn't it make sense that they trekked through the Atlantic provinces?

As Skaarup is explaining this, he begins talking about the Battle of the Plains of Abraham (which was linked to his first relative in the NB area).  Admittedly, I was more attentive to the animation this man displayed -  he walks back and forth explaining the battle in a manner I have never seen.  He explains how the British are down on the ground - and he drops to the floor pretending to hold a firearm.  He paces the stage, speaking in a haughty British accent - as he begins to bark orders he screams "PRESENT" and tells us to look at the distance (the length of the room) in which they were firing.  "FIRE," Skaarup screams, his brow shining in the glow of the projector.  He explains how General Wolfe was hit - retracting his wrist in mock pain and lurching to the side to portray a shot to the ribs.

Admittedly, I'm still slightly confused as to how this relates to lost Canadian history...but I'm captivated.  The next story was easier to follow as to what is lost and needs to be found.

The HMCS Niabe's guns were used to defend the Port City (that is, Saint John) in WWII.  Skaarup began tracking down guns (cannons).  530 guns were brought back from the Great War, 26 were given to New Brunswick.  In WWII, scrap metal was needed to make machines - and Saint John offered their guns to the war effort.  These pieces of history are gone - only 6 have been accounted for but there are more.  Skaarup estimates 30-40% of the identities of the cannons are actually inaccurate.  People put what they think the gun is on a $5000 plaque but don't know for certain.  Skaarup began recording where the guns were and what kind they were.  Saint John has the only 5.5 inch gun in Atlantic Canada as most were melted into scrap metal.  He explained he's looking for them - and would like help finding them.

Skaarup explained he wrote about his uncle who was killed in a tank in Italy.  He didn't get the opportunity to tell his story.  Skaarup explained, "As a New Brunswicker, that's not right."  Skaarup wrote about his uncle to get the story out there - to tell a story that should have been told by him.

He continued on his quest to find lost Canadian history by explaining about a report of a submarine that had sank off the coast of PEI.  He was told by the Dept of History not to ask.  The British sank the submarine so the Germans wouldn't get the technology or the boats....but if that sub is found, there is a chance to prove friendly fire killed four men - and that would be negative historical press.  The official report was that a ship, smaller than the sub, collided with something but there is a letter from J. Edgar Hoover stating it had to be sunk because it had turned against them. Skaarup wants to find the sub and be able to put it in the hands of a museum.

His next quest involved finding out about a rocket.  He rants in a British accent about Canadians not needing rocket intelligence, and then explains (in a slightly Newfoundland-like accent - pronouncing there as 'dere' but I believe that is his actual accent although maybe not NFLD-based), a young officer takes a case of whiskey, get's the British security drunk so the Canadians can steal the rocket with some sledgehammers and a flatbed truck in the dead of night.  After painting it grey, adding some wood and calling it a submarine, they get it past Customs and in Canada, realize it's live.  They hose the liquid out (since they're not blown up) but the rocket disappeared.  He also mentioned there have been thousands of machine guns brought to Canada...he's found 4 in NB.  These are the sorts of things that are in people's attics and wants help finding.
 Finally, he explained about a Hawker Hurricane - an airplane - that crashed between here and St. Stephen.  The family has pieces of the airplane - Joe (the fellow who found it) was killed in an airplane crash - but it was never found.  Where is it?  "I believe it exists," Skaarup said, "I just can't find it yet."

He said that there was another form of airplane - one that had a front and back propeller that was brought over but once the general attempted to fly it - the explosive in the back detonated and the general was dead as a doornail.  Needless to say, there were not a lot of pictures of that type of plane but especially, of that one in particular.

Skaarup is looking for the following things:
-the Hawker Hurricane
-parts of guns and Cannons from WWI
-1300-1400 crossbow pieces or evidence of people in Canada in this time-period verified on-site by archeologists 
-the PEI submarine

He wants their stories.  He wants to know why they are there, who the people where, what happened, when it happened - he's giving people who did not tell their stories a voice once again.  If anyone has any information about these items, e-mail hskaarup@rogers.com or comment on the TinkerTimes and I'll get you in contact one way or another.

If interested in learning more about Major (Ret'd) Harold A. Skaarup, check out his books here.

The next two stories he told, I'll save for my next post.

Note: This post is free to be reproduced for any non-profit organization in any way provided credit (and notification) is given to me (Samantha Tinker).    

People watching in Brunswick Square

While sitting in the Brunswick Square food court, drinking a large coffee (two sweetener, one cream) from Tim Horton's - the only spot open at the moment - the sights and sounds are distracting me from reading my newly purchased book from the University book sale.

The muffled crash of the water fountain in the center of the court is currently flowing bright yellow water in support of the Canadian Cancer Society.  Tiny yellow droplets spit in every direction.  While cheery in appearance, the sound is definitely leaving my tiny bladder slightly confused.

The noise of the fountain is overpowered by the incessant humming of the lights - most of which aren't turned on.  This is leading me to feel as though I were in a slightly reclusive coffee shop, not a typically busy food court.  If it were any darker, I'd be transported back in time to a 1940s bar atmosphere where the room was filled with wafting cigarette smoke and I'd be holding a cocktail, not a Tim's cup.

The elevator music is also competing for my attention - an upbeat guitar with a touch of resonance (that is what it's called, I believe) is only an afterthought though.  The lights are rather like a swarm of hornets - they make their presence known.

A security guard catches my attention - young, rather hard looking face.  This probably isn't his ideal job.  He looks bored but at the same time, in the back of his mind, he must be thankful.  Boredom in his profession must equate to safety.  If not for his shoes, he would blend into his surroundings perfectly.  Black jacket with SECURITY on the back, bright yellow liner barely visible in the front, black, decent fitting trousers, but bright blue sneakers...Rebock brand, I think.

As the time passes, closer and closer to the lecture at the New Brunswick museum, the number of people sitting in the food court rises.  With this increase, the lights slowly come on.  The Museum lights glow a soft yellow but I am unsure when they were turned on.  Their warm presence, for some reason, makes me think of walking home in the snow after dark and seeing houses - cozy inside - with the same glow.

One woman in particular catches my attention. With perfectly coiffed hair, bright eyes, and absolutely amazing legs, her heels catch my attention as she passed my table three times.  She is impeccably dressed in a trench coat and lovely skirt.  Her attention to detail is remarkable.  Her shoes, black, ankle height, high heeled boots, completely destroy my persona of the older generation.  She is of my grandmother's generation - and I am jealous of her stockinged legs.  Her face is not hard - but stern.  If I were to guess her profession years ago, I would imagine she was a teacher or a principal.  The way she holds her jaw says "No funny business" and "behave yourself."

The majority of people walking by are elderly but spry.  Joining together, obviously familiar with each other, I am the outsider looking in.  I am watching, listening, learning and yet, do not understand yet.  Someday, I will look back at this and perhaps, I will understand.  I hear them speak about  a person who had a heart attack - it is a sharp reminder that yes, I am different.  We aren't speaking about the same news, are we.

In contrast, three high-school aged youth walk past.  Inexperienced eyes meet experienced for a moment of acceptable judgment.  Older people are too boring. This young girl has rainbow coloured hair.  Old people are unable to do anything. Young people are lazy.  It's never said out loud - it may not have even been thought - but it happens often in one way or another.

A mother and child's gleeful cries stop me from furthering down this interesting path of judgment and age.  The child - a little blonde haired girl with shoulder length hair is in a bright green sweater and Ugg-like brown boots.  She runs aimlessly, carefree - but is doing exactly what I am doing - watching people.  Her mother, a pixie-like woman, tiny with blonde hair, runs to catch her.  She takes her daughter down the escalator, letting her leap off and swing in her mothers arms at the bottom.  How big must an escalator be to her little eyes?

My professor interrupts my people-watching to ask about the books I bought at a sale earlier.  Apparently, he is trying to get rid of books but tells me of other sales.  I can't help but notice his glasses - I'm not sure if they are new or just different - dark rimmed.  He has, in my mind, always been the stereotypical appearance of a professor - tan jackets, elbow patches, greying hair, old enough to be respected but young enough to be lively.  He's got an old-school charisma about him.

A young boy - perhaps seven or eight - catches my attention.  He's staring at the bright yellow fountain in baggy black sweatpants and a black cap, just pondering why the water is so bright.  At the same time, the little blonde girl is capturing hearts.  Her father swoops her up as she begins to cough but once she stops, she screams every child's favorite word only once - NO - as he heads for the exit with her.  She's not finished yet.

An elderly man with a walker passes my table.  His back is slightly hunched showing off his bald head.  His face droops slightly giving the appearance of being tired or slightly grumpy.  At one time though, no doubt, he was a handsome strapping man.  He's still tall, rather broad shouldered but thin.  The stories he must have...

Two more children walk past with their parents in tow.  The children are dismissible from my attention - rather average and boring.  The parents, however, are identically dressed in powder blue, long sleeved, button up shirts, and dark blue, almost black, khaki pants.  The woman slightly feminizes her rather masculine appearance and short haircut with three rows of ruffles on either side of the buttons of her shirt.

An elderly gentleman notices a woman coming to join them for coffee.  His group - perhaps four or five - is crowded around a couple of tables.  Being of a different (and perhaps, better) generation, he immediately gets up and gets the woman a chair.  My prejudice got the best of me as I was surprised by his dexterity.  He moved quicker than I could, I'm sure.  While a different generation, I can imagine them younger - enjoying time on the Boardwalk perhaps, probably with different groups or even different boardwalks - but maybe not.

Finally, the elevator music seems to play a conclusion as I check my cellphone for the time.  Yes, this session of people-watching has ended and I, along with the older generation of men and women, head into the museum for the lecture.