So technically, I have been dating someone for almost a month now. As I sit here watching "Sex and the City" and drinking cheap strawberry wine (and working on my essay if anyone asks), I've realized two things:
1) I'm okay with prostitution.
2) I really miss my ex.
I'm not saying I want to be a prostitute but what I'm wondering is this: If you're going to do it anyways, why not get paid? Yes okay, morals obviously get in the way...but really, if you can not only get your nookie-cake AND the new Coach bag? Really, there's not a lot of difference between casually dating (that is, not looking to get married/in a serious relationship) and prostitution? The lines are definitely blurred.
I miss my ex (no, not Justin). I'm one of those girls who doesn't get attached - I'm really bad at it, I generally hate men and if I don't, they're probably gay. Fact of the matter is, a million this are more important than relationships. That being said - I fell hard for an uneducated, blond, who was kinda short and of all things, in the army. F. My. Life. Seriously...THAT'S what I fall for? Okay well...I miss him. He was sweet, made me laugh, made me feel safe...and I wanted to make him happy. I wanted to make things last...thing is, I'm really bad at relationships. But, end of the day, we broke up. It just wasn't working - he started it, I finished it, we were good to go our separate ways.
Maybe I'm just projecting my issues of relationships onto one guy...maybe. Or maybe I'm just not happy with being single...or maybe I'm too happy being single. I dunno...but it doesn't really matter, we broke up. And here I am now, I have to double check the name I'm saying, if new guy brings him up, I get sad. I'm just...urgh! I'm losing my mind here.
New plan...another glass of wine!