Sunday, May 13, 2012

Top Tips for FWB

FWB = Friends with Benefits. We've all heard of it, some of us do it and some of us consider it. Now, while it's supposed to be 'uncomplicated', let's be's never uncomplicated without a few rules in place. So, before pants come off, have a chat and go through the rules.

1) Make sure you both are good with it - If one person is going to get emotional or clingy, there is absolutely no way you're going to remain friends.

2) Don't really be friends - Look, there are friends you love to pieces, friends you care about, friends you could care about sometimes, and friends that you chat with sometimes. The thing is, you don't even possibly hurt your really good friends. If you wind up hurting a casual friend, well, it sucks but that just means you've lost a drinking buddy - not someone you truly care about. Keep them on the fringe of your social circle.

3) Alcohol will be your buddy - There's something to be said for the power of alcohol. At least for the first little bit. Just drink it.

4) Don't think hooking up means sleeping with - FWB can be anything from just cuddling to sleepovers - it's your choice. There are NO rules or formal arrangements. Just have fun!

5) Be cute - You don't need to be on your A-game 24/7 but shaved legs, trimmed nose hairs, all showered, smell nice...etc etc etc.

6) The Skank Reflex - when your prefrontal cortex fails to make you happy, promiscuity rewards you with a flood of dopamine (Hello Big Bang Theory). If you're not enjoying yourself, stop and don't feel bad. If he's not good, stop and really don't feel bad.

7) Don't kiss and tell (much) - You can definitely tell your best friend, your cousin, the person you'll never see...etc etc etc...but hooking up still has a LOT of stigma. Don't do it if you're not prepared to laugh off rumours and keep things on the downlow (no marks, no public handholding, stuff like that).

8) Don't hook up at mommy's house - Keep your life separate. No one wants to explain how 'you're not dating her' to your parents. Let them think better of you.

9) Keep it to a minimum - you don't need 50 FWB. It gets messy. Figure out what works for you and go from there...make sure it works for him too.

10) Have the chat - okay, talk STD's, pregnancy, when/if/where hooking up, all that stuff. Talk about the rules before hand, don't differ from the rules, be smart about it and don't get hurt (and attempt not to hurt others). homework.

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