Saturday, April 7, 2012

Not always in the cards

I just watched a show that began by saying 'love will happen when you least expect it'...well, that's a nice thought but emotionally charged and a little stupid.

Love, while an emotion, also requires an action - some sort of give/take exchange of time, commitment etc. If you don't have time for someone, you don't have love. Now, some of us can say we'll 'make time' for someone...another great idea until one ends up destroying their GPA or career goals in an attempt to 'make time' for another person.

Love is a great emotion - personally I'm a fan. I'm also a fan of cupcakes, cell phones, jogging and underwear that don't cause a permanent wedgie and leave no panty-lines. I'm even a fan of spinach.

Love = spinach?

Love is a great idea but it's doesn't happen when you least expect it, it happens when you realize you have time for a loving relationship and you're unselfish enough to hold another person in the same regards you do for yourself.

Love > Spinach :D

I am studying

While studying, my blog postings increase exponentially. Reason: I don't like studying much.

Painfully obvious

I've been watching 'Criminal Minds' while studying and there was one quote that was painfully obvious:

"Yes, but castrating the victim is very personal"

No way, Sherlock! Cutting off someone's balls is personal? Who knew!

That being said...look left, wipe drool off chin, stare lovingly at man in towel.

I love this show - painfully obvious quotes or not.

An ode to History and Wiki

Ode to History
(PS: What is an 'Ode'?)

There are many a science geek and engineering freak
who believe their departments are best,
I laugh in my head because my subjects are dead,
And I know history is better than the rest.

Dead men cannot speak as they are 6 feet deep,
It's the reason I like them so well.
When its late at night and I'm feeling 'not so bright'
It's refreshing to know Hitler's in hell.

An ode to Wiki
Wiki works wonders when dealing with blunders,
When my notes are all a wreck,
But just don't tell Doc. F. or I'll be in a mess
I'll be joining Hitler in...heck.

Restrain your children...I'll provide the duct tape

You love your children - I get it. Here's a thought though...I don't love them. I don't even like them. I don't want them around me, talking to me or in any way interacting with me. Why? It's not to be mean - it's because I'm studying asexual behaviours and fetishes and am currently staring at the ass of a naked man in a dog collar. Are you okay with your child asking 'What are you reading now?' No? I didn't think so.

Now, I'm not just on the bus or at a park working on learning this information for an exam (which, by the way, I'm seriously deciding whether I could handle being a dominatrix because the money is that good for wacking people and ordering them to lick my shoe...I'm okay with that), I'm at Starbucks, at a table, away from the general public...but I've got some little goober staring at me as I drink my scalding latte. Hint: Coffee plus children = bad combination.

Looking around the room, there are two children intent on chewing hole through the bags of coffee and another three to four children running around like they've had six cups of joe. While I understand that these parents still want to maintain their urban-cool factor with their friends after delivering birth to these rug-rats, I hate to inform them, they are not.

Parents, you are 'cool' if you look after your children and don't expect the clerks/barista's to take care of them for you. Your kids are awesome if they're well behaved for the 5-10 minutes you're waiting for a coffee and leave. Surprised? Yes, I said leave.

No child needs to be subjected to the dark atmosphere of a coffee house, surrounded by adults trying to have grown-up conversations about their drunken nights of wild abandon without little ears hearing terms even adults don't always know. They don't need to be under foot as I go from the counter to my table with an extra hot (scalding) non-fat vanilla latte. Children need...ooh...sunlight? Playgrounds? New parents...okay, I won't go that far but they don't need to be subjected to the crap that you're putting them through.

If you were a child, would a Starbucks seriously be your idea of a good Saturday morning? Nope, didnt' think so. Remember being a kid - playing in a park, chasing bugs...eating bugs...throwing up the bug? Remember being barefoot...and then streaking across the yard as your mom chased you yelling for you to hold still so she could clothe you again? Seriously, there was no Starbucks involved in my childhood...I did bury my sister once in sand (she had straws to breath from and I got spanked -that's right, corporal punishment - and I survived).

Parents, listen up. Next time I'm at Starbucks, you guys are probably going to be angry. Why? Because if little Suzy or tiny Timmy asks me what I'm reading...I'll friggin' tell them. And then, I'll offer you some duct tape, Gravol and a leash - because that way you have a choice on how you restrain your children. It may offer a suggestion as well.

While I am not planning on abducting your little booger, someone else might. Get it? While I don't like children, I don't want to see their body on the late night news fished out of a dumpster. If you don't like that image, sorry to scar you but lets be realistic: You feel safe and secure because this is a small city. There are still strangers and you should not let your child run unattended. Something could fall on them, someone could run them over with their vehicle if they get loose, they could be lost, terrified and looking for their mommy who is busy drinking her iced cap.

So to all you 'still-cool' moms and pops out there, thinking that Starbucks is the new daycare, it's not. And if it is, I'm finding a new spot to hang out. Does anyone know a good bar that serves coffee and is open at 8am with a decent 'no kids allowed' policy?

Friday, April 6, 2012


It's funny how productive I am as I "study." I begin by sitting down, eager to dig into my notes...then I get hungry - so I cook a yummy tomato sandwich with baked brie melted into the toast, some oregano, lettuce, and a dash of chili spices.

Okay, food...I'm good. Study time...wait, I need a bottle of water. So I run and get some water.

Okay...I'm read...nope...I have to pee.

While peeing, I realize I have to call someone about a I spend 2 hours doing up a resume and speaking to someone about the job - which honestly, looks amazing!

So finally....a few hours later, I begin to actually study, then Facebook, texting, criminal minds, survivor, etc etc etc...continue to distract me...oooh and Neopets. Yep, I'm completely distracted.

After all this, I have no excuse. It's 7pm - I started at noon...and I'm studying...sort of.

Thankfully, I have a few days until exams and I know about the anabaptists...women of the're next.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Another year done

As exhausted as I am at the moment, today being my last day of 3rd year classes has left me going wow...I have absolutely loved this year. It's been busy, complete insanity at some times, absolutely fun...and although there have been days where I've been completely in over my head, I'm unbelievably content with the work I've done, the friendships I've made, the people I've met, the traveling I've had the opportunity to do and ultimately, I'm proud that I am where I am.

I got into honours history, have maintained my GPA, broke up with a guy and went to work the next work has definitely kept me sane this term.

Yes, I address the issues here (I really do) but it's because I refuse to be apathetic. I truly believe this is a great place to be...yes, even while complaining. Every school has it's problems and UNBSJ is no exception. I've had more opportunities here than I can list...literally I've tried.

Anyways, Just had to say:

To everyone who has changed my life this year, thank you. To everyone who has helped me, listened to me and I now consider a friend, you are all incredible people. Thank you! This has been a great year and it's because of my new networks, friends, coworkers, and people I would consider family.

Thank you!

The crappiest day ever

I have an exam on April 12...okay, that's not really fun to say the least. So then, in my absolute "kick me while I'm down" sort of moment, I scheduled a Pap test for the same day in the afternoon. Seriously? A 3-hr exam only to be followed by a cold room, and swabbing of areas that I don't really want swabbed. Well YAY!

If I were a bunny...this is how I would look.

Let's pat ourselves on the back and remind everyone what a great job we're doing.

A university is about accomplishing one's dreams. It's the heart of the institution. So why the hell is administration paying it's not-unionized workers minimum wage? Why are they not saying to the groups that do have unions and are treated still treated like crap "we don't do business with people who treat their workers like this"?

Why are we okay getting to know these people, letting them help us through our University careers, leaning on them for support at times as we break down in the food lineup over a test and yet, we don't question why they are taking the bus, don't have a car, don't go on vacation to Florida or someplace nice...they're at a university working - it should be a pretty decent job, right?

We don't question why the employees come to work when they're sick...we don't really question much of anything, do we?

As we are getting our education, we're allowing people to be suppressed by minimum wage. I was told "Well, it went up to 10$/hr..." SO WHAT??? Have you tried to LIVE on 10$/hr? It's not easy especially after taxes!

Ask people at this school how long they've been here and how many raises they get. Thing is, most of the jobs the 'university' offers are actually outsourced - the university gets a 'don't blame us' card because it's obviously not their fault that they're not holding companies to a semi-moral code of conduct and would expect them to pay their employees fairly..

Yep, I get it - this is reality and sometimes reality is unfair but in an institution where my dreams are being reached, maybe I want to help someone else reach theirs. As much as I love my school, this outsourcing crap is just that...crap. But oh wait - it's not the university's fault, is it? It's someone elses because it's outsourced.

The blame game will never work. Let's put the blame where it started. Outsourcing = cheap labour = crappy wages = oppression.

PS: Let's see what happens with our bookstore in a few years - oh wait, we can't because the managers retired when it changed over.

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Judging that book as usual

Ever wind up completely shocked by someone? I mean - so shocked you're convinced you understand their character enough that you could predict their movements...and they do a figurative 180 and leave you thinking "What the heck just happened here?"

So...I kissed someone, thinking "Okay, kinda cute but a little bit nerdy, but really chill which is always a bonus...definitely fun, good conversation, not my type but tall...tall always wins out. I'm pretty sure he's kissed a total of three girls in his, whatever (brain stops here) it's a kiss."

Easily in my top 5...Thing is, I think I'm pretty good at reading people and I pegged this guy as totally G-rated and I was wrong. So you're now probably going "What did she do with him?" It was only a kiss...but you can learn a lot from that one interactions - more than a handshake, I do think.

Anyways, it's now almost 1am and I'm exhausted. Hopefully, I'll be up bright and early to tackle this essay that I absolutely despise.

New Blog topic for tomorrow? How to screw up an interview royally.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Why I'm working to do what I do

This year, I have been so fortunate as to hear Anna Maria Tremonti and Stephen Puddicombe. I don't know exactly what I'm going to do out of school - whether it will be law or social work or international aid - but I will find a way to change people's worlds.

I will never be able to do what Puddicombe does but the feeling that I felt last night was something I never want to forget. I was devastated about what he spoke about, overjoyed that I'm safe and content and unbelievably proud of the glimmer of hope in humanity when men and women stepped up and helped their fellow person.

Okay, so this may be a bit rambling so I'll back up. As I write this, getting ready for bed, finally slowing down, I realize two things: I'm in tears and my jaw hurts from clenching it so much.

The keynote speaker last night was Stephen Puddicombe, an amazing man who has a resume a mile long and honestly, if I tried to describe him, I'd fail. He looks like a clean-cut, handsome person, kind of plan faced, average build - but striking eyes.

He paces...constantly moves. His animations are sometimes soothing and sometimes, jarring. They said what he was going to talk about before he stared speaking. His voice is that of a radio reporters - soothing, calming - and yet, was so agitated and full of grief sometimes. I don't even know how to begin describing it except that his voice is a paintbrush in the hands of a master. He spoke and the air formed different colours and everyone saw what he was seeing. We were looking through his eyes.

So as I sit here, in my comfortable room with the Internet, a mug of tea in front of me and a cell phone going off, my brain is slowly shutting down for the night but that little voice, the one I always listen to says 'write because otherwise, you won't stop crying' I'm writing.

I wasn't overly uncomfortable last night but I was angry. I was angry that I waited so long to do my degree. I was angry that the most I've protested over is quiet study space or a stupid student government. I was angry that I haven't changed the world - and as immature as that sounds, I'm still angry. I'm angry that we complain about the tax costs of medicare - and children die over an insect bite...

The emotion that I'm feeling isn't 'real' anger - it's not a simmering rage but a "what can I do?" Right now, I can write. Tomorrow, I can learn more about these issues. The day after, I can continue learning and start to figure out how I can make my university degree work to stop being angry.

Hearing about gang rape in the Congo shook me. He says "I can't imagine"...I say, "I don't want too"...I don't want to try to imagine something that horrible - I want to pretend it doesn't exist, sweep it away, pretend it doesn't happen.

I've always believed that education is what will change society - and this is partly why. Because as much of a firm believer in social activism as I am, I wanted to pretend the world was different than it was. I was happier with fiction than believing the real world. And now I can't and I think, after I stop crying - I'll be better for it. Welcome to education - it makes you aware of your own stupidity and the fiction you've created to make your life that much better.

I'm not describing his stories because it seems like I'm glorifying it and I can't do it justice. It doesn't feel right. Google his stories, Google the people he talks about, listen to every podcast you can...just learn about it. It's not fun, it's not a good time...last night is the first time I ever said "I need a drink"...Not "I want", "I'd like" but "I need"...

Last night, I was perfectly fine drinking myself into a happy place and then keeping that healthy level of alcohol in my system for the night.

Tonight, I'm sober and the reality is, I'm so glad I didn't see the pictures that were graphic because I don't need to right now. Maybe I need to look into international law and international human rights a little longer while I'm doing a social work degree.

I don't know how to end this on a positive note except for saying this - thank you. I might not have looked at the pictures, but I got the message.

Sunday, April 1, 2012

No homo? No common sense!

I have a huge issue with people who use phrases and don't think about what they're saying. For example, "Oh my God"...if you're at the bar, you probably won't offend anyone, however, if you say it in a Baptist church, it's a little rude as it's seen as taking the Lord's name in vain.

There are some day to day ones though that make me question what kind of society we are. I'd like to think we care about treating everyone fairly but here's the thing - words are a very easy way to ostracize a group of people. People kill themselves over words. People stay silent because of other people's words creating fear. Words have clout.

Example? When's the last time you used the word 'nigger' as a white person? Personally, I think it's offensive. Why? Because for me to say it as a white person is saying "I am okay with this word devaluing you because of your skin colour"...nah, I'm really not so that word is not even in my vocabulary when I stub my toe.

How about 'That's retarded'? So you'd like to compare a situation you find stupid or irritating to someone who has a mental disability? That's not equality at all, is it? So we're teaching other people that we feel retardation is a good insult for a situation. Nope, I'm not okay with that either.

So here's my new favorite and reason for my Sammy-rant. 'No homo' is the most recent one I've seen. In context?

Guy 1 to Guy 2 - I like your homo.

Are you really that afraid that because you say you like a shirt, a haircut or even a song that you're going to be perceived as queer? Heaven forbid someone question your sexuality. How about you walk around in a shirt that say's "I'm really really not gay"

In a generation when queer teens are killing themselves because they're being bullied so badly, we're going to start saying "no homo" because some ass started using it because "he's most certainly not gay and his sexuality won't be questioned..." Give me a break.

Your sexuality is not called into question because you say 'no homo' but your common sense definitely is.

In an ideal society, which is what I want to work towards, your sexuality might just be determined by, oh I don't know, who you're sexually attracted to? Who you're sleeping with?
What a weird thought, eh? Sexuality determined based on who we are attracted to? Who would have thought of that one.

Words do have power and do change the world - so maybe we could actually start to use our power, our freedom of expression to start doing some good and not verbally ostracize people.

I am slowly going...going...gone...crazy

I realized something tonight as I started to get ready for bed - I really like sleeping with people. I'm sure your eyes have just popped a little as you think, "This girl just identified herself as a total whore on the internet", I didn't.

I just really like having someone in bed with me. It's not about hooking up or even cuddling all the time, but it's just about having someone there. I'm not sure how else to describe it apart from providing I trust the person, maybe I feel they'll be axe-murdered first in the night and I'll have time to escape? Or, better yet...I just like the body heat because my feet are cold all the time.

So maybe it's time for me to get a kitty? It might be a little less confusing and a bit more stable...just a thought.

say goodbye to the weekend

Texts from last night:

"HET" (Translation: Drunk Sammy says "Hello")

"My feet?" (Translation: I'm walking)

"My window broke? My cat died? this perv won't stop hitting on me? I wanna go for a walk and might get lost? (Translation: No idea)

"huh...your so much more interesting naked :P" (hmmm...I don't know about my train of thoughts but apparently, I'm a perv)

"I mean, I know I'm kickass but you're just...outta my league epic" (Translation: I don't know where I was going with this)

"I'm a professional drunk" (Not written by me - they meant "I text professionally when drinking)

"Sleeping bag camping combo...oooh tenting in the halls :p I have no idea where that idea came from (this was me: I was really excited about getting a tent and camping indoors apparently...even though I had a bed and am a terrible camper. I may have decided to have a campfire too...that'd be interesting).

Never have I ever

Have you ever played the game 'never have I ever?' There are a few things that I will say I'll 'never' do but I have learned the hard way (repeatedly) don't sleep where you work. What's that, you say? I sleep in my office all the time - yes, yes I do...but this is more figurative.

Making networks at conferences, meetings, even at school is a great way to expand your social network. These people understand you, they know what you're dealing with - it's really friggin' cool to 'talk shop' with someone who is as passionate as you...but don't let that passion go below the belt.

You may need to work with these people someday - the last thing you want is for there to be awkward tension and simply put - ickyness. If you're both cool, wait a bit then meet up later...For the love of all that is good, vodka is great social lubricant but that doesn't mean excessively use it and end up in bed with your boss or something equally as heinous.

So why this tip? Well, mostly because it's a good lesson to learn. Mess up when you're younger and realize that it can easily be awkward...especially when they (or you) take someone else home at another meeting...yep, good thoughts eh?

Another thought - just because no one 'officially knows' doesn't mean they don't know....then go do the stupid things you're going to do with or without reading this warning.

The professionalism that is not me

I've been thinking about this a lot over the weekend - my blog isn't very professional. Even though I admittedly lie and say half my words can/could/should be taken lightly, I still do wonder if this could hinder my chances at getting a job someday.

Then I remember something more important...painters paint, singers sing, dancers dance and writers write. We shouldn't be limited to serious, professional and admittedly, sometimes stogy pieces only because we are feared to be taken 'unprofessionally'. I personally admire the person who comes out and says "I did this and I refuse to be ashamed because it was not illegal nor did it hurt anyone"...that to me is better than being full of b.s.

I write satire to put a smile on people's faces. I may be serious at times - but that does not mean you should read this blog and believe everything I say...I'm biased...

If a job doesn't like that I write, I apologize but I don't believe we'd be the right fit. I refuse to blog about work. Why? Because it's unprofessional! I am happy signing a 'no blogging about work' contract - but I need to vent and I really like to be read.


Jobless blogger.