What is it about unavailable men? Seriously, as I sit here, working on studying for a midterm tomorrow, I've realized that maybe I have certain friends that just...suck (I changed this word three times trying to be nicer) . Yes, he (or she) is nice, smart, funny, sexy as hell...but instead of feeling like we're friends, I feel like a royally ignored bitch.
First, I'm not a mean, terrible, awful person. A little cold and callous maybe but NOT this cold-hearted ice queen...and I don't appreciate the look of sheer surprise when I attempt to be a tad nicer because I know he or she is busy.
Because I have attempted to incorporate someone else's busy schedule into my life does not mean I was mean before all this crap -it means that I didn't have to make plans with you...I mean, him. It was because he actually wanted to hang out and I didn't have to get on my knees and beg...
Secondly, why is there always that guy that I'm willing to throw my cards on the table, take that huge gamble for and know that I'm going to lose out. Seriously, it's like drugs. I like the rush, the craziness, the intensity...but then, I'm totally screwed....well, yes, I am...but I'm also hurt. I just don't get it. My heart's not getting involved, I don't want to date him, I want friendship but goodness knows, it feels like this is some sort of stupid thing that he's terrified of. Yeah, I get up - I decided to date someone, you got hurt blah blah blah... but why is someone that terrified of hanging out with me. I don't bite...hard.
Finally, since when is it acceptable for friends to constantly ignore friends? Again...I don't bite! What the hell did I do to hurt Mr.Someone? I just don't get it.
Anyways, I'm sure he's reading this and I'm sure I'll get a tongue lashing...but screw it. Maybe it's time to find a new friend - But I don't know if I want to...