Friday, March 15, 2013

Tears, cheers, highs and lows

Today has been a day I'll never forget in so many ways.  I don't really know how to start this blog because it's been so weird - the best and worst of days mixed all together.  So here goes in point form:

1) My grampy was flown from Grand Manan today with chest pains.  He's already had one heart attack and stroke so this brought back a lot of fear and anxiety.  I've been trying to remain positive but when I get scared, I just start focusing on the worst, the "what ifs?"  To say I'm terrified is an understatement but I refuse to dwell on the scary. I'm trying to remain positive and just remember that I have a very blessed family.

I looked down at my phone by accident - I never have it out in class - and saw it was ringing on a break.  I answered it (I promised to be available to a cousin who was in the hospital if she needed me) and mom had called to tell me about Bamp.  I had the time to get him some groceries (and a balloon...and a plant...).  D.M (one of my best friends ever - we fight like sisters so she's family) is in the class with me and left too with almost no explanation as to what was happening.  It could have been so much worse but thank goodness for friends and family.  Mom, Dad, Mam, Aunty and Uncle all came up to see him - it was good to see the family come together for him.

2) I have been given the honour of being given a Grad Class Leadership Award.  This is the 8th year for it and it's amazing.  I teared up hearing it because this university has been my home - sometimes I love it, sometimes I hate it but I always feel like I'm home.  It's a pretty nice feeling. 

3) Gordon Ramsay retweeted me and followed me on Twitter! That was pretty amazing!!!

4)  My favorite part of the day was that the invitation included this:  
"This event is also an opportunity for you to thank a member of the university community who has made a significant impact on your time at UNB Saint John. It could be a faculty member, academic adviser, mentor or coach. This individual will be invited to the dinner, join you at your  table, and share in your accomplishments. Please forward the name of your campus guest to me as soon as possible so they can be invited well in advance of the event"

 I was so happy to see this because there has been one prof in particular who really impacted me in my first year and has always been there for me since.  So I asked her to come and she was honoured to accept.  In my first year of school, I felt like an absolute idiot.  In my first term, I was actually scared that someone was going to walk up to me and tell me I was a mistake, I wasn't really supposed to be there.  I did a lot of things that should have made me fail because I expected the worst.  This prof had faith in me and told me I was smart.  She is an absolute spitfire and made me want to learn about social issues so I could make a difference in the world someday.  Whenever I didn't have faith in myself, I knew there was someone else who had faith in me, who made me feel passionate about social inequality and in doing that, I was able to look past my own issues (and there were a LOT of them) to help other people.  Over time, my issues weren't as scary...I had self-confidence again. 

So if anyone reads this, send a quick prayer for my Grandfather.  He's always put other people ahead of himself - even in the hospital, he was asking mam to find a Bible for someone who had asked for one.  Even when I was an absolute bratty teen, I admired and respected him...and I still do.  He's always shown me unconditional love - and he's my grampy.  

Goodnight all!