Saturday, March 24, 2012

Last Friday Night!

Well we danced on table tops,
We didn't do any shots
Think I kissed him...wait, yeah definitely did that,
Last Friday night :P

Blueberry beer (And yes, I am sober here) at BigTide.

What exactly does P-Diddy feel like when he wakes up?

I have come to this conclusion that when the normal person wakes up in the morning after a night of partying, they do not feel like Ke$ha's "P-Diddy" nor do they start singing about their hangover. No, you know what they do? They roll over, try not to wake the person they hauled back to their apartment, looked at their room wondering how it POSSIBLY got messier - then, yes and only then, do they go to the bathroom, pee, and attempt to not vomit as they force large amounts of water into their system, praying for death the entire time.

Predrinking wine first, then C & I hit The Alehouse for dinner (and blueberry beer), then...

Big Tide (Blueberry Beer)
Happinez (Wine)
Callighans (Left - it was dead and we were just too young)
Grannans (Gin)
Canterbury (Gin and beer)
Cougars (nothing - we were loaded)

For the record, it was a blast. C & I wound up on the dance floor without anyone else around with old people glaring at us (Surprise - we're young and not arthritic). We were all over the place and may have gotten a little bit sloppy drunk! Always fun when it's not just you!

And the person I may or may not have taken home (seriously, don't you wish my mom didn't read my blog? I love that lady - I think she keeps me from getting arrested just by her aura) was definitely in the top 3 bodies and maybe top 5 crazy drunken hookups - not that I have drunken hookups either because I don't kiss people when drinking...

Anyways, my hair extensions are askew all over the room and I have laundry to do! What a night...Tonight is essays and homework and some good old pizza and diet pepsi. Maybe even a few episodes of Hercules (I heart Kevin Sorbo).


Thursday, March 22, 2012

best moment ever

Stephen King, ice cream, pj' is good.

Dear JB (warning: stronger language than usual)

WARNING: I am in a terribly rotten mood because of certain issues that have been going on lately and am severely stressed to a point of breaking out in hives. I promise I'll get back to my satirical, witty blogs in a bit (probably after this weekend is over) but I promised myself I wasn't going to lie and I won't. I haven't been happy lately, I've been exhausted and angry, and frustrated. I've been a little more than grumpy and I'm really tired of dealing with humanity.

That's not a cry of suicide - it's a cry of "I want to be a hermit so please leave me alone"...I'm sorry to everyone who has had to deal with me but FB today was the final straw of grumpyness. Apparently, when I type in the word '*****' (name, not curse word), my ex's photo pops up with his new girlfriend because her name is the same as my moms. So because of all this, here's a letter that will never get sent to him because after this, I'm going to bed and forgetting he ever existed in my life.

Dear JB,

I wish that I could tell you,
I moved on with my life,
Sadly, I cannot do that,
Because legally I'm still your wife.

I saw a picture of your girlfriend,
She looks way too good for you...
But maybe she's more your type than I,
And you won't cheat on her too.

So I'm going to say something,
I really haven't said before,
I really hate your mother,
And Stephanie, the whore.

Your mother is a weenie,
A nasty, cruel and evil sort,
Sometimes I really do wonder,
If she maybe should have considered abort...ehh n/m - you did take care of the cats well....

Your siblings are about the same,
For them I have no time,
We weren't friends, I'm good with that,
Because all they did was whine.

And then there's darlin' boy,
I guess I never told,
But getting cheated on with that worthless (Crap I can't use that reads this)
Got extremely old.

And so I ditched you to the curb,
And now I'm here you see...
I have a 3.5 GPA
And you work for your daddy.

I am in year 3 of an honours degree,
You drive a golf cart around...(drown rhymes with around new line, no widow here).

I'm in year 3 of honours,
And you're just getting stupid,
But somehow you attracted something..cough one.
You must have kidnapped Cupid.

Because goodness knows you're useless,
I believe it's in the genes.
But I'm so much better without you,
And now I'm peachy keen.

Thank you for reading my poem,
These past 3 years have been grand,
Because I've moved on to BIGGER and BETTER things...(like school and homework and being on TV, and being in honours history, and having a cool job and going to Ottawa and stuff like that, okay mom? I love you and will put you in a nice retirement home someday with a pool boy!),
And you're still a worthless excuse of a man.

Reasons why I do not support L...

L...- a pro-life group, is made up of a bunch of people who believe holding a bible between your knees is a great form of birth control. They are absolutely incredible as they are not listening to normal statistics and believe causing a scene is a better way to get your point across than actually helping people. Since I do attempt to keep some semblance of separation among my work, school and professional life, here is my first of many disclaimers - I am a student. I am a human. I have a voice. I will always use my voice. If you don't like it, please re-read freedom of expression. You express your voice, I'm expressing it louder.

On top of all that, they surround it in a haze of religious bullcrap. I call it bullcrap, not because I'm not religious - I am actually - but because they lie, they hurt people, and they're an epic load of crock.

Since this is my personal blog and I can say whatever the heck I want as it is my. personal. blog (get it, don't drag anything else I do into it because this is my disclaimer here), I'm going to give some reasons why this group is stupid, should be shut down and irritates the baby outta me.

1) I don't want fetus with my coffee/tea/bus ticket/medical appointment etc. Here's a thought, if I'm going somewhere, I don't think "wow, I'd love to see pictures of babies in wombs"...I personally find that disgusting. I don't like children and find medical pictures in general gross. How about I show you some pictures of tapeworms - they also grow in bodies?

2) Don't bomb people - Okay, so I can't say they did this but pulling stunts to get attention (NOT BOMBING - did not say they did this) is stupid. It's rude, inconsiderate and absolutely not helpful to a PROFESSIONAL environment. I didn't pay for you to be here - well, actually I did help pay for that. I want my money back.

3) I hate your guilt trips - you regret your abortion? kn0w what, so do other people and they don't want to be reminded of it at school. Better yet, how about I carry about sign saying "I vacuum my uterus on a daily basis" or "I don't regret mine" or how about "the other option this girl had was a coat hanger and lysol mixture" with a picture of a dead 13 year old. Welcome to reality - it sucks.

Here's my reasons - like it or hate it, I don't really care. Start your own blog and rant just like I am at 12:30 am with a midterm tomorrow.

PS: Thank you D for listening to my rant about why I think they should be shut down solely because I think it's a stupid group. I appreciated it at midnight.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I stumbled across this website,, through my psych book. For the record, I really love it. I really do - it's amazing. For $10 dollars, I no longer have to break up with someone on my own, I can get someone else to do it...

It's amazing! I would LOVE this job because most of these people are REALLY terrible...

It makes me happy :)

Monday, March 19, 2012

one rant about younging's

As I sit here 'studying' for a test, my mind begins to churn almost as much as my stomach has lately. I am finally beginning to understand why people are concerned about future generations - it's because they're stupid. I'm only 25 - I get it that I'm in the whole generation X factor and everything has been handed to me yada yada yada...

Okay, that's absolute bullcrap...I don't expect to get an A because I showed up for class and did nothing else. I expect a B+ because I showed up to class, did the tutorials, worked hard on the essay but probably could have done better and taken it to the writing center a couple more times.

I expect a lot of myself therefore, I expect a decent's because I work for it.

I expect that if I treat people politely, surprise, I'll get treated decently - maybe not perfectly, but decently is a good expectation. I don't understand this "I'm so special" attitude I've been encountering by all these friggin' high school students - here's the thing, right now you guys are a drain. You're the future but you count for nothing at the moment*

Here's another thing - I don't care about you. Now I know mommy and daddy are telling you you're special but they're wrong. I do NOT care why you can't get your work done - what I do care about is that as I'm working on an essay, planning a trip up to Freddy for school, planning an honours degree, trying to pick out courses, and I'm so stressed I'm breaking out in hives, you dropped the ball. Good job, you suck.

Furthermore, to all you parents that continuously tell your child they're so special, they aren't. They are just little goobers who need to be slapped upside the head. If your child is saying cuss words on FB and making their little nanny grammy who goes to church every Sunday sad - slap them because if you don't, I'm pretty sure someone will in their life someday and it'll be directed at their nose...not their ass.

If they're cussing out teachers or getting in fights at school, ground them (and swat them). I don't care if you need to tie them to their bed - yes this sounds like abuse but here's the thing - they're abusing themselves. If they're doing drugs or drinking at a young age or hooking up in school washrooms, how about you do something about it instead of complaining when they're knocked up. Parents, these little goobers are your responsibility - and some of you just don't get that.

Look, some of you are doing an awesome job and maybe I'm just surrounded by the lesser-brained but something is WRONG somewhere. I know I wasn't the best of teens but if your kids are perma-burnt at 13, something is messed up.

And this is where I insert palm to face and just say "I give up because the people I'm talking about probably can't read this anyway"...yay.

*Note: to all you high school students who are actually working hard, holding down a job and have a sense of responsibility and maturity - this is not for guys are above that. This is a rant specified at the high school students I have dealt with in the past few weeks. Holy crap.

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Oh what a night

You know those nights you're glad you don't have pictures...that was me last night! With amazing friends around me, we celebrated Saint Patrick's Day in true Maritime style...and a certain someone developed an accent as the night progressed.

Admittedly, it was probably one of my favorite nights out - ever. Why? Because there was no drama. Since breaking up with my boyfriend (officially and happily this time), I've realized that I don't want to feel isolated because of a man, I don't have time for a boyfriend - and if you're rude to my friend (even if you are drunk, that's NOT an excuse), I don't want you around me!

The bonus of all this? I had an awesome good morning stagger out of an apartment and go get breakfast at Tims before crawling home sort of morning. Oh boy - that was lovely!

Anyways, thank you everyone for an awesome night and hope your morning was painless...I sincerely doubt it for some :)