Friday, April 20, 2012

The TinkerTimes Mascot

This terribly blurry photo is my mascot and pet, Ludwig von Turdle Tinker. Here are my pet owners guide to owning a turtle (or any pet) for that instance:

1) Find out how long they live - add ten years for the freak pet that refuses to die and be prepared to take care of it that long.

2) Don't let Eyoha pet-sit - he killed my fish by overfeeding it.

3) Don't cuddle what shouldn't be cuddled. Don't ignore what shouldn't be ignored. Snakes = no cuddles. Puppies = cuddle.

4) Be prepared to pay for it. They eat before you do.

5) No pet is free. Free kitten - no. You still need to fix it, vet bills, food, etc etc etc. Turtles - when they get older.

6) Don't put it in a purse. Goldfish die, reptiles run away, and you just look stupid with a dog hanging out of your purse.

7) Don't name it something you can't say in front of your mother.

8) Know how to use the equipment - Read instructions for filters, automatic dog waterers, electric fences...all that.

9) Don't abandon it - You're a stupid person who deserves to be abandoned. There is a difference between having to give it up because you're genuinely sick (as in both your legs fell off or you have cancer or something equally as terrible) versus "I don't like it anymore"...

10) Don't eat your pet - Pets are for loving. Chicken is for digesting. Chickens that are pets are for loving...nevermind. If you've named it, don't eat it unless it's name is Dinner, Christmas, Porkchop, Bacon etc.

Sometimes, you just have to laugh at yourself

For the record, I am not nor will I probably ever be a prostitute, however, I will always have a dirty mind.

Today talent, eh?
...haha...I do believe I have a 2500 dollar talent. Is partial nudity allowed?

bahaha, no

is it in the rules?


this is a family show

and how do you think families are made?
first there was a boy and a girl and the condom broke

you are ridiculous


And in continuation of said conversation


sorry but I totally just blogged that conversation
I heart you
anyways, back to looking at turtle stuff instead of studying

jesus. good bye

Although my talent is uplifting - and some would even say a spiritual experience, I regret to inform you, I am not jesus.
good bye, my child
peace and harmony - unless you're gay or a witch, in which case I'll stone you
or have my homeboys do it for me, yo.

Looking to give away to a great home - My (fake and not posted) kijiji ad

Have you ever seen those irritating (and far too common) ads to give away a pet because the child mysteriously develops allergies or the new mom doesn't have time? Here is my thought to this:

Looking to give away to a great home!

One unfixed 2 month female. Not potty trained nor is she housebroken but appears to be quite intelligent. Quite loud but learning by spraybottle method and we seem to be having great success. She isn't great at guarding the house but I didn't really want her to begin with. She was an accident. I'm trying to do the right thing here. I won't just give her to any home though - it has to be her 'forever home'. Comes with 2 months of food, bedding for the first year - maybe two if she doesn't grow much, toys, and other necessities. I would love to keep her but my dog really doesn't like her, I don't have time for both the dog and the child...and the dog was here first.

Looking on Kijiji makes me angry

As I am currently realizing I have a LOT of free time now (and I have been looking for a pet to fill the space in my heart left by Fishgerald Lameass Buttercup the Only - my beta fish that Eyoha killed by overfeeding), I am looking for a turtle. His or her name will be Ludwig I do believe.

Anyways, as I'm looking on Kijiji, there are all these 'great' (cough cough) pet owners looking to give away their animals. I don't care if you mysteriously developed allergies at the age of 46 or are moving - you friggin' take care of you animals! Get it? They depend on you and you don't just post on the internet 'looking for a good home' know what, you were supposed to be their good home!

Stupid people. Hi Esme (my cat), I'm glad mom took you because otherwise, I'd be living an apartment before I gave you to someone I didn't know.

Screw diets during exams

And WHAT was I thinking? Going for a 10k run is one thing - putting down the bacon is another even for a mostly-vegetarian like myself. Diets are NOT supposed to start during exams...neither is giving up caffeine. I thought I would do both. For being so smart, that was a terrible decision.

Product Testing: Bonne Bell 100% Natural lip balm is not the bomb

Has anyone tried the Bonnebell 'All Natural' line? I found it to be gritty and has no yummy taste I've come to know and love. Seems that many others agree with me here. It's pretty disgusting so even on sale - not worth it!

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Day 1 done

Okay - so day one ended in a yummy tomato sandwich and like 4 servings of yogurt...and 2 bananas. Really? Day one starts tomorrow :D

Day 1: Mastercleanse part 2

Okay - the maple syrup concoction isn't half bad. Kinda tasty. I also have enough energy to go for a pretty successful run - the Sommerset hill SUCKS!

Also, Nestle pure life sparkling water with lime= yummy. It's water...therefore it's okay - okay so some people say it is and some say it isn't. I like it therefore, it is.

The giving up caffeine...not so good. Massive freaking headache. Seriously, what is this doing to my body if I want to rip my eyes out and shove them down someone's throat?

Anyways, I have an exam at 9am so I'm going to study for an hour after showering and go to bed. gnight!

Day 1: Mastercleanse

I decided to start the mastercleanse today for 2 reasons: 1) I believe stupid diets should be tested by people to give honest results and 2) who's more honest than me? Oh yeah, and this semester has KILLED my waistline and ass so I'm jumpstarting the diet/running.

So with lemons, water, cayenne pepper and maple syrup in hand...Supper was a surprisingly decent concoction...a little too spicy though.

Okay folks, so for the next 7 days, you're getting the ins and the outs of this diet and we're going to see what happens. My prediction - it's massively going to suck but after it's done, I'll feel better running.

See ya later, Soda

I, Samantha Jean Tinker, being of sound body and crazy mind, yada yada officially am giving up diet pepsi and all other soda and caffeinated beverages until September 1, 2013.

While officially believing I am an idiot, I am going to switch to the dreaded, disgusting, and not so yummy soda water in an attempt to trick my body into believing I am actually happy with this change.

Whilst my kidneys cheer, my sad face is coming out in spades.


You know those moments when you say something entirely stupid. My friend...umm.."Mildred" and I are chatting about a certain guy. We may believe that he is entirely beautiful in a ice cream cone on a hot Sunday afternoon on a boardwalk sort of way...provided you're not lactose intolerant.

It goes like this:
Her: Yes, i do remember that delightful meeting. can't remember a thing about it, except his tummy, thinking...hmm..this lighting is doing nothing for it, and i need to read up on philosophy to sound intelligent.

Me: Screw that - don't talk. Talking is wasted on his mouth - that boy has more skills than...I don't even know what. He blew my mind. If I was on drugs on the best trip of my life, swimming in a vat of chocolate - it would not compare to the **** experience

What can I say? To some friends, there are no boundaries.

Thank you!

I have to give a huge shout out to everyone who has supported me about not getting the EIC position next year. I can now say I wish the new editor the best of luck but I will be fighting against what appears to be censorship and administrative control over a student paper while attempting to keep it 'student-based'.

Who knows...there may actually be a 'TinkerTimes' paper going around given half a chance next year. Either way, keep staying tuned to my blog posts and I'll attempt to write real, uncensored stories here from time to time under the label 'UNBSJ News'.

One of my friends and previous editors said: "Well, you wouldn't be doing your job right if they didn't consider firing you" and I do believe he is right. The fact is, I did my job and although I didn't get rehired, you guys will see me around in full force next year. It's time that we fight for a change. We need a daycare. We need to give workers more than minimum wage. We need to address smoking on campus - not just get rid of it.

Finally, follow me on Twitter as I tweet my life away: @TinkerTimes because you know you want to see the absolutely amazing things that come from my fingertips.



Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Really? You thought I'd be mature about this part 2

So as you know, I wasn't rehired at The Baron which I don't really feel bad about anymore - I did for a few minutes because, obviously, it's a slap in the face (with a 500$ appeasement bonus - not sure who I slept with on the board but apparently it worked). Let's be realistic here, I'm not in the business of being friendly, nor am I in the business of being less ballsy than I typically am so I'm going to lay a few things out.

My contract does not end until the 30th so if I damn well want to cancel MY bid for the Atlantic Regional Canadian University Press Conference, I'm going to. And I did. If they want to wait and put in an additional bid, they can but this was my ideas, my networks, and my time. If they really want to attempt to use the bid that I submitted as Editor-in-Chief, it's lazy and inappropriate and they should be ashamed of themselves (they being the board of directors or the new editor).

See, I'm trying to figure out that 500$ bonus - to me it's either blood money of "please shut up and don't make waves" or it's "we're sorry" or maybe "well we get it that it stung"...I have 500 reasons to question this. You don't hand over that much money to someone who did a "satisfactory" job...yep, that's what I was told. Apparently, I was satisfactory. Without a journalism degree. And little training. Okay then - I'll take it and be proud of that.

Secondly, I really don't like journalism. Don't get me wrong - I admire what it does, I love journalists and I love the places it leads - but I don't want to be a journalist. I want to be involved and change the world - not watch it change...or write about it changing...or change it by writing... I can't just sit here and as far as conflict of interest goes...umm...we have 2800 people at this school, you learn how to do the job and deal with conflict of interest. Admittedly, I sucked at that aspect - really good reason to hire someone new.

Third, good job on hiring outside the office. Way to say "your dedication to learning how to do a good job matters"...'cause apparently, it doesn't. That isn't directed at myself but at the other applicant who actually wrote for (OMG - surprise)...the paper she was applying for.

Finally, it's funny that for an 'independent student newspaper' we have a member of administration on the hiring committee as well as a journalist who hasn't read our newspaper in over two years (her words, not mine). Look, I'll admit I'm a little pissed off...and I'll even say rightfully so but not because I didn't get rehired. I'm upset because the blatant politics of going from someone so liberal to someone who's young, married, and writes "I'm a good christian" on her resume (okay, maybe not that extreme and it's not like I saw her resume but anyways)...and is so obviously conservative...hi politics. I made waves. UNBSJ is anti-waves. UNBSJ is also ignoring huge issues that need to be addressed - like a non-existent daycare on campus!!! Funny that I brought up real issues like 700 students complaining about noise levels in the library that, I believe if you ask Keith Dewar about, you'll find EXCEED limits by 30-40 decibels (double check that though - please...double check...ask him).

I don't know the great schematics of it all but I'm glad to know that the student paper is in the hands of the students...oh wait, it's not. 2/4 hiring personal aren't students and one of which was probably chosen by administration or by the journalist because rarely if ever do people volunteer to sit on these things. So if the students hate me - let them vote...but for the love of all that is good, do not place future editors in the position of being the face of the "independent student newspaper" when we're not chosen by students (for the record, last year it was 2/3 student votes).

I am glad that I had the opportunity to do this job, to talk to students and to do the job that I've done. I'm proud of what I've accomplished and frankly, saying good luck to the editor would be like congratulating the bulimic for eating - I'd puke on my words later.

Really? You thought I'd be mature about this

Okay, so I'm not Editor-in-Chief of the newspaper anymore...I'll write more after I cash my final cheque.

That is all.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Back in Action

I'll be blogging a bit more but currently, I don't really have much to say - weird, isn't it? I think it's because I'm on Grand Manan and there just isn't a lot to say. I love being home - but it's really boring. While that's amazing for me right now as I'm still not really in 'school/study' mode - I don't really have much interesting going on.

I had the opportunity to see my adorable niece, my best friend since childhood, and friends/family. I'm glad to be home but I'll be ready to go back to Saint John, do some studying, get exams over with next week.

More to come later!