Friday, January 11, 2013

5 things...

Today was one of those days - you know the kind where emotionally, physically and mentally you're just drained? One of those days.  So...5 things I am grateful for...

1) I am grateful that my job finally listened and is letting me leave 5 minutes early so that I can catch the earlier bus home - I was at my wits end getting home at 10:40 and trying to cram studying in that late (then up at 6-7am for more homework).  I knew I couldn't keep up so I explained the situation.

2) I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to travel to Costa Rica in December to work with sea turtles!!! :D (More details on that once I'm fully registered - waiting for 250$ to put my deposit down).  It's voluntourism...helping and being a tourist at the same time (more helping as I'll be in a pretty remote area...)

3) I am grateful that I don't need to take 5 courses this term - four more and I'm a GRADUATE!!! 4 years has gone on long enough :) It's been fun but I'm ready for a new adventure (even though I'm grateful for it).

4) I'm grateful for the couple that came in tonight, appreciated my honesty about pillows (I knew the woman was NOT going to like the one she chose and I asked if she'd be okay waiting for a sale and getting one that was way more expensive but would last longer...).  She was so impressed, they wrote a WOW card for me! I like people like that!

5) I am grateful that I got to see my boyfriend today - I am mixed on this one though.  He told me he's looking at moving to Moncton which is a) further away and b) not SJ...where I live...where he could get a job...where we could be closer? Okay then. Wonderful. Thanks a bunch.  Needless to say, this is why I'm up at close to midnight...why? because I'm rather angry.  I love him but he says this stuff and doesn't seem to think about the consequences it has on me - so what am I supposed to do?
      I was almost to the point of just walking away...I'm tired of the stupid smoking and him not really seeming to understand that I HATE the fact that he smokes, I hate the smell, it makes me gag, it's just gross and oh yeah, I'm watching the guy I love kill himself. Sure. Because if we stay together until we're 60 and he gets lung cancer, I'm going to be angry and sad and scared and hurt.  I'm tired of him constantly being short-answered when I ask a question - it's annoying and I just want to tell him off. 
     And yet, I'm still grateful for him because he's a genuinely good person.  He's a sweetheart who would do anything to try to make me happy and I do love him...I just have a hard time working on relationships - I wasn't kidding when I said in class (as my friend turned purple laughing) "Oh, I'm bad at commitment"...I wasn't joking and she knew it.
     I guess I wish this relationship was easier...I know that sounds lazy and I'm not trying to be - I just wish we didn't have the smoking to fight about or, I guess, Moncton now.  I even mentioned "okay, well I could go to school up there" (which I could) and no response...well, thanks for including me in your plan, sweetie.

6) (I don't think 5 counted)...I am grateful that my beer bread turned out wonderfully - it was great with dinner :)

Thursday, January 10, 2013

Real Home Cooking

So my 2013 resolution was to eat what I cook - this means no more prepackaged food, no more shortcuts, no more takeout (unless I'm going out to lunch with friends, of course) and no more homemade dips/spreads etc. 

What have I learned so far? This is a LOT cheaper than buying food - for example: I can get a dish of hummus for 1.99 - I can make hummus for .99 cents...saving me a dollar.  I can make bread for a dollar a loaf (approximately) instead of it being on sale for 2.99.  I can make a HUGE pot of soup for under $10 (and it lasts almost a week).  I buy cooking oats instead of oatmeal, and am drinking a lot of water because I can't make diet pepsi :(. 

Fact is, I've saved a LOT of money so far and I've also realized that I'm not using as much waste product.  A package of cookies, a jar of this and that adds up over time - and I do feel strongly about reducing my carbon footprint.

Now, I'm starting to learn how to make foods that I like and eat in my diet often - yogurt, salsa and bread.  I can make bread but it's a little difficult for me.  So far, I've had a 60/40 turn out and I'm reading and re-reading directions.  I can't wait until I can just whip the stuff up and throw it in!!  I'm going to try making yogurt tonight because I miss it.

I've also discovered that eating more "basic" foods have allowed me to sleep better (I'm getting 8 hours a night!) and concentrate more.  I'm less exhausted all the time and have lost about 3 pounds.  That being said, I refuse to worry about weight loss and have found other things to focus on - I'm out running 5x/week (today being my day off).  I have a TON of energy!  I am becoming more positive as a person - especially with the volunteer work that I'm doing!

So I challenge everyone - Try cooking your own food for a day - no packaged stuff.  Try it out and see what you think!  Do it for 3 days - then try a week if you can!  It's definitely worth it! :)


Monday, January 7, 2013

healthy vs skinny

I have come to the conclusion that I have had a lot of body image problems in the past.  I used extremely unhealthy measures for the sake of losing weight and was downright miserable - I laughed, smiled, had fun...but my throat was constantly sore from throwing up, my body hurt all the time, I had headaches...and I still have damage in my foot from running too much and not eating enough (or at all some days).

I am trying to lose a few pounds again as I'm running again even with some foot pain (provided it's not too bad or starts bruising again) - but I caught myself weighing myself 2 days in a row...and realized a few things about me.  I like myself.  I would never tell one of my friends they were fat nor would I care to judge them based on their weigh!  So why do I do it to myself? (I did have my friend Dana ask me to inspect her groceries but I was extremely proud of her mostly healthy basket of food - way more varied lunches than her first year :)  I would never ask someone to hurt themselves to lose weight - so why did I do it to myself?

I may never be totally happy with my body but I will not hurt myself to make myself smaller.  I will not try to lose weight just to fit into a smaller jean size.  I refuse to judge myself based on someone's warped view of dress size or pretty or anything else...I want to run.  I want to enjoy my life...but I want to have a life that doesn't centre around food.

So here's to a healthy image - to all those trying to lose weight in the new year, keep it up and do it healthily.  Make sustainable changes and exercise! Stop doing those bad habit things and grow as a person.

 Goose Fraba!

5 Things I'm Thankful For

1) My roommate (not the one who's moving out although I'm thankful he's leaving) - I moved into this house in September with a guy I had never met.  I have a cute room, run of the kitchen, and think my roommate Dave is wonderful.  He's quiet, nice, and clean. I'd give him roomie references any day!

2) Doctor Who - yes this may be trivial but I'm thankful that I've had the time to relax and watch something enjoyable just for me.  I'm thankful that I've had the time to relax and be happy, not having to stress over homework due dates or anything like that - I can just watch Doctor Who...and it's a darn good show!

3) My boyfriend - okay, so he's a total guy sometimes and does stupid things.  He treats me like his 'buddy' not his girlfriend and I get angry...BUT, at other times he's this wonderful, caring, compassionate fellow.  I really couldn't ask for a nicer guy who genuinely cares about me.  I love him...yep, I said it. I. Love. Him.

4) My turtle - She makes me happy.  Aww little Ludwig von Turdle Tinker :D

5) My parents - they're always there for me.  It's rather awesome to know that no matter how much I screw up sometimes, I've got 2 people who care about me and mom is still cooler than I am. 

Those little things...

I started school once again today - my last term of my last year. Can I get a boo-yeah from the internet world?  There are a few things I've been working on over the past couple of weeks getting ready to prep up for school once again.

I have my finances in order.  I paid my entire tuition last term (which sucked in a sense because I was broke a LOT of the time) so I can put money away and into a savings account until I need it in June for rent.  Plus, I don't have to worry about money that much because I'm not so hard up on cash which means less stress.

I have taken up winter running in part, due to the influence of one of my role models and professor.  The woman has the energy of a puppy/kid with serious ADHD AND caffeine addiction - seriously, I don't get it.  Anyways, I bought some new running clothes, have a pair of sneakers that haven't been broken down yet, and am layering on the pants, shirts, socks, gloves, scarves, hats, mitts, etc....If you see a round blob running down the road screaming "SAVE ME FROM THE MADNESS" honk and wave at me, k? 

I have made a personal goal to do one volunteer activity every two weeks.  Right now, my cause is the Out of the Cold shelter.  On Sunday, I brought them a lemon cake with buttercream frosting.  In 13 days, hot cocoa cupcakes.  I'd like to do more but I'm attempting to zen my life a bit more right now and don't have time to volunteer physically...but I do have time to whip up some snacks for some hungry people.

I have also started my newest diet which is quite simply, I eat what I cook.  Minus the few times out with friends or family, I am allowing myself to eat whatever I want as long as I cook it...real, homemade food...and I generally cook a LOT of veggies, some chicken (it's a winter cold's lovely), and suck at making I'm doing okay.  I made an enormous pot of chicken soup with dumplings that should last the week and it's amazing - cabbage, a whole roast chicken, some chili peppers, potato, dumplings, carrots, tomatoes, spices, onion, spinach - basically anything I had laying around the house went into the soup. I'm a firm believer in being vegetarian (not everyone, just me) but it's a health thing and I know for a fact I haven't got enough protein lately (hence why I'm getting nosebleeds and am tired/grumpy all the time).  I'm doing okay with chicken (no migraines!!) so I'll keep on eating it for now until I get more varied veggies (it's Canada in the winter - the only 'buy fresh and local' option is snow).

Apart from that, I'm going to start putting together an essay and start reading for Wednesday - should be a good time...or something!

Later Days!