You, my dear, are an idiot

You know that moment when you look at someone and think "What the HECK is wrong with you?" Recently, I broke up with my boyfriend - I'd say it was a truly traumatic experience but it wasn't.  It happens, I'm over it.   

So why am I grumpy, you may ask.  We broke up because he's massively in debt but apparently, he didn't bother to share this.   Basically, it wasn't because he's in debt that made me end it - I could handle that. The irresponsibility and the fact that he didn't seem to have a plan to fix this (and prevent it from happening it again) was worrisome.  To explain further, he didn't realize that he was this far in debt - ummm, really? You didn't know how much your car would cost? or that your credit cards were maxed? or that you were in overdraft and had been missing payments? Really? I've gotten pretty good at calling 'bullshit' and my radar was up on this one.   

Anyways, we had a chat last night and he proceeded to tell me that he was upset that I left him when he needed me the most.  Fact: We've been dating four months.  Fact: When I asked what he planned to do about it, he said he didn't know, he ignored phone calls from creditors and oh yeah, he was still smoking.  Sorry but I was not that much invested into the relationship.  At four months, a relationship should still be fun, not stressful due to one person not managing his money properly.

Anyways, this is my rant and yes, I'm rather grumpy about the "you left me" accusation.  I don't believe in playing the victim and this is exactly what he did - it's a stupid ploy to make me feel guilty and it only made me angry.  It's called growing up - some people apparently take longer than others.

In happier news, I got to go to Grand Manan for the weekend and am having a great stay! Woot!

The top ten reasons I'm giving up men again

Realistically, I tend to meet a lot of very interesting guys...once in a great while 'interesting' actually means "Cool guy that I could see myself dating" not "He just got out of the psych ward and his eyes are looking in different directions." The past couple of months I feel as though I've been saying the following constantly to many different guys:

-"No, I don't want to see your penis"

-"I don't care how big it is - I don't want to see it"

-"No, it's not the biggest I've ever seen"

-"If you don't get your hand off my ass, you'll be giving yourself head"

-"No I'm not gay, I'm just not into YOU in particular"

-"Fine, I'm gay...do you feel better about your masculinity?"

-"I don't care how fast your car/truck/motorcycle goes, don't care that you have a boat, don't care that you were just that cool in high school"

-"...if you haven't noticed, I'm more of a Happinez/BigTide girl - not Cougars/Tonic"

-"I'm really really not interested...really"

-"wow you're such a great...oh your boyfriend is into...nevermind"

Really, can I please just meet ONE good guy? I'm not asking for much - okay maybe I am. See next blog post for list of what I want in a man.

No homo? No common sense!

I have a huge issue with people who use phrases and don't think about what they're saying. For example, "Oh my God"...if you're at the bar, you probably won't offend anyone, however, if you say it in a Baptist church, it's a little rude as it's seen as taking the Lord's name in vain.

There are some day to day ones though that make me question what kind of society we are. I'd like to think we care about treating everyone fairly but here's the thing - words are a very easy way to ostracize a group of people. People kill themselves over words. People stay silent because of other people's words creating fear. Words have clout.

Example? When's the last time you used the word 'nigger' as a white person? Personally, I think it's offensive. Why? Because for me to say it as a white person is saying "I am okay with this word devaluing you because of your skin colour"...nah, I'm really not so that word is not even in my vocabulary when I stub my toe.

How about 'That's retarded'? So you'd like to compare a situation you find stupid or irritating to someone who has a mental disability? That's not equality at all, is it? So we're teaching other people that we feel retardation is a good insult for a situation. Nope, I'm not okay with that either.

So here's my new favorite and reason for my Sammy-rant. 'No homo' is the most recent one I've seen. In context?

Guy 1 to Guy 2 - I like your shirt...no homo.

Are you really that afraid that because you say you like a shirt, a haircut or even a song that you're going to be perceived as queer? Heaven forbid someone question your sexuality. How about you walk around in a shirt that say's "I'm really really not gay"

In a generation when queer teens are killing themselves because they're being bullied so badly, we're going to start saying "no homo" because some ass started using it because "he's most certainly not gay and his sexuality won't be questioned..." Give me a break.

Your sexuality is not called into question because you say 'no homo' but your common sense definitely is.

In an ideal society, which is what I want to work towards, your sexuality might just be determined by, oh I don't know, who you're sexually attracted to? Who you're sleeping with?
What a weird thought, eh? Sexuality determined based on who we are attracted to? Who would have thought of that one.

Words do have power and do change the world - so maybe we could actually start to use our power, our freedom of expression to start doing some good and not verbally ostracize people.