Saturday, January 7, 2012

The diet from hell

I sincerely hate crash diets. They're stupid, unhealthy and leave me in the emotional state of a cranky Chia pet. I'm cold, exhausted and trying to remember if this bloody dress is worth it.

As much as I love the fact that I've lost almost 10lbs, I'm not a happy cookie at the moment. Just one more project and then I'm off to bed because I don't feel like dealing with any other crap today.

One of those days

I woke up late this morning. I had my alarm (and coffee maker) set for 7:45am, however, the clock wasn't actually on so instead of waking up with a chill, relaxing cup of java, I began to panic. I am terrible at being rushed. I need more than 1/2 an hour to get ready to go somewhere, even if I'm all ready. I am terrified that I'll forget something, that I'll be time is always a fear.

Instead of panicking though, I forced myself to go get a cup of coffee and watch a couple episodes of 'Supersize vs Superskinny' which I am currently addicted to. I understand what it's like to not be able to walk up the stairs without huffing and puffing and comfort through Oreos. You know, what I missed most was being in shape. I like that I can dash across campus and not be out of breath, that I can walk in a room and not be the biggest one there, and that I can feel comfortable in my own skin. This show also reminds me that too much dieting is scary. The superskinny girls aren't really pretty...and they're tired. At my work-load, I can't afford to be tired.

I have decided that I will wait until the Commons opens and go do my homework over there. I'll be free of distractions from tv and the computer and will get everything done. I don't actually have 'homework' per say but I want to be a bit ahead, make sure I know the material, and be ready for next week. Yes, I've embraced my inner nerd and I love my Point-Dexter right to bits.


Friday, January 6, 2012

The obsession with weight

I'm not sure if it's the commercials advertising lose weight, the people who are obsessed with their new years resolutions or my fear of gaining weight combined with traveling on an airplane to Victoria, British Columbia but I am having a hard time not obsessing over food.

Yep, it's dandy:
Breakfast- Slimfast shake and crystal light along with one cup coffee
Dinner- Slimfast bar
Snack- Apple
Supper- Salad

I'm hungry...time to grab more coffee and water.

Thursday, January 5, 2012

Screw it

I was going to write something witty but I'm too sleepy and really just longing to curl up with my heated mattress pad under me. I'm off to bed.

My pet peeve


I understand tummy chub. I have it and sometimes, I even embrace it as I cannot hack it off with a butter knife and can't afford liposuction.

While I understand it, I do not for the life of me understand why you must wear your pants so l0w and tight that it creates not a muffin top but a saggy layer of skin over your pants. Newsflash: You look fat!

While it might not be politically correct to walk up to someone and say "my dear, this is unattractive and makes me want to retch," there may be a time and a place for everything. A muffin top is even poofs a little and isn't horrible but the saggy stomach syndrome is an issue.

Ladies, it's called a one would ever really know and they'll probably think you lost weight. Your stomach hanging over your pants is not sexy even if you put a stretchy shirt over it.



The past two years in review (weight loss)

Okay all, so most people know my story. When I left my ex, I weighed a total of almost 250lbs...can't say I was healthy, happy or confident but I lost a bunch of weight over this summer, got healthy, and realized that I'm worth the time.

Today, I was kind of grumpy because I don't really feel like waking up and going to the gym and I'm just sort of blah. I haven't lost any weight over the school year (not really a surprise but still annoying) and it's whiny but depressing. I decided to commit 30 days to double workouts. 30-40 minutes at the gym in the morning and then the '30 day Shred' video with Jillian Michaels. Here's the past 2 years though and in 29 days, I'll add my newest pic to the bunch and hope there is some difference.

My friend Jessica's wedding. I'm the purple chick with blonde hair.

The summer I left my ex...Lost a bit of weight but not a lot...did get a shorter haircut and dyed it purple!

Christmas formal last year. I think there's a bit of difference :) Longer black hair, a spray tan and a short black dress. It was a fun night.

This summer marked my goal to lose weight. I was tired all the time and realized how much I wanted to be smaller and in shape. I took up running and admittedly, didn't eat enough to sustain a starving child most of the time. I was losing weight like crazy and it's addictive but I probably have a few bad habits.

This photo was taken in December 2011. I've put on about 5lbs since my smallest but I still like it MUCH more than the beginning. So even though I'm a little upset about getting up in the a.m and being stuck on a plateau, I'm still pretty happy with the results this far!

Tips to Keeping a new years resolution

As my friend D. says, I like lists. I really do. It brings out my sarcastic nature, my crazy personality and...they're quick! So before I dash off to class with Professor Toner (not the Science one though), I'm writing my ideas on how to keep that New Years Resolution.

1) Tell people- If you want to lose 20lbs or run a marathon, tell people. You'll be more likely to keep yourself accountable if other people ask how you're doing with that goal.

2) Get a buddy- For me, Ashley is a doll because he wants to do a half-marathon as well. Hello running buddy! Get someone that has a similar goal and work together!

3) Be specific- From quitting smoking to losing weight, be specific. If your goal is to not procrastinate, figure out when you do it and why and then figure out safeguards so you can change your habits. For me, it's going to bed at a decent hour so I've started setting my alarm for 7:20am. I know if I stay up for that new episode of "Toddlers and Tiara's" (Aka: Legal Child Abuse), I'll feel like crap in the a.m. and might miss the gym.

4) Don't overhaul your life in one day- Kudos to you for trying to give up smoking/drinking/overeating AND deciding that you'll go to the gym every day this year. Want to bet it doesn't happen? I may as well take your money now. Start little and work your way up. Have mini goals. For me, it's losing 10lbs and going to the gym Monday-Friday for this month. February might be busier and I'm not setting myself up to fail. I'll reevaluate every month and go from there. For this goal, I need to be up in the more sleeping in. I will learn to love mornings or at least, tolerate them.

5) Don't be afraid to ask for help- I'm no weight loss expert so I ask people what they've done, what works for them and why. For some, it's diet and very little exercise. For me, I get an adrenaline high out of working out. I'm also vegetarian (vegan doesn't fit my lifestyle in the school year) so I can cut out so much processed food instantly!

6) Don't be afraid to fail- I was told by my friend A. (not asked, mind you but a direct statement) that I was afraid I'd lose at something because he saw I was hesitant to do it. I have great ideas and really feel I'd be good at the job but I'm terrified that I won't get it. You know, he was right. I'm scared that I'm not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, eloquent enough...and I'm scared to fail. Failure happens. We don't always get everything we want but failure mean's I tried. That's a hell of a lot better than sitting on my ass wishing "what if..."

Well, I have class and after 8 cups of coffee, really need to pee. I can't blog as much as I have been because of class but I'm going to attempt one a day.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

Diets are depressing

I've heard statistics that losing weight is 80% food and 20% exercise. I like to believe it's more 60/40 however, over Christmas it's been 0/5.

I hit the gym this morning and realized, while I'm not out of shape, it's been far too long since I've been there. So, in my typical method- I'm all in. I'm off to the gym Monday to Friday for this month and doing the 30 Day Shred in the evenings.

I'm wasting less time on the computer, leaving my phone in my room between classes and have started the Slim-Fast 3-2-1 plan. I'm actually a fan of switching meals for shakes and bars because I'm always on the run. For my life, it works because it's less thinking!

The problem, you may ask? I hate winter and want to go back to sleep. I would make a lovely bear who wants to hibernate all through the cold season. I hate waking up in the morning and even with coffee, I'm slightly tired all day. I just don't feel like staying up and it's only 5pm.

Hopefully, I'll be more energized by the end of the week...fingers crossed.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012


What is important to me?
-Aspirations to be accepted into law school

I have learned tonight that these are more important to me than anything else, including my own current happiness at the moment. Because I am sacrificing my own happiness for the moment, it means I can dedicate more time to what is important to me in the future.

But why does it have to suck so much right now?

Stupid New Year Resolutions

As I sit her drinking my Crystal Light Tea, attempting to drink water (yes, that's right...something that hasn't gone through a filter of darling, lovely ground beans), I realized that lately I have let my health slide a little bit.

I ate meat over the holidays (not a killer, I know) which always makes me feel gross. I haven't been drinking enough (or any) water and apparently, although vodka is clear, it doesn't count. I haven't been as rigorous in going to the gym...okay, so I really haven't gone at all in December and I'm starting to feel it. I've gained about 10lbs back since September but mostly, just feel blah. My energy level isn't as high, I'm usually fighting a headache, and just don't feel right up to par.

So, today has been my first day of eating healthy, drinking (urgh) water and tomorrow morning, I'm set to go to the gym, a place that I'm sure misses me as much as I miss it. I would have gone today but I spent my afternoon unpacking my suitcases and cleaning my room. It took awhile.

Also, my buddy Ashley in the most heterosexual way possible suggested we go shoe shopping sometime as we're going to run a half-marathon this summer...hopefully. That's the's a good plan.

Monday, January 2, 2012

What is it about the new year?

I don't understand the point of complaining about being single. As I'm watching a few talk shows, my downfall time-waster, I have realized there is so much information directed towards women finding their mate.

Between dating sites, self-help books, websites, articles in magazines, and all these stupid ideas, it's overwhelming. Does society really believe my ultimate goal in life is to find a man? Seriously?

Think about it for a minute. I never clean up a mess that isn't mine. I don't have to worry about what someone else thinks about my actions and goals. I don't have to be concerned with someone else's aspirations and whether it could hinder mine. I can go out as late as I want, come home when I want (if I come home) and I can be selfish. I like not having to remember birthdays, anniversaries or any other date. Being single means I don't need to attempt a balance between work, school and a relationship. And, I always get the remote.

While relationships are great for some people and I assume that eventually I'll fall for someone, realistically, it would take a lot for me to decide whether or not I wanted to give up being single.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

Beat up a child at New Years Dinner

What better way to start the new year than a dinner with the family? Don't answer that. I came prepared this time. The list included:

-Duct Tape
-Super Glue
-Ball peen hammer just in case nothing else worked

These were all for the crazy relative. We all have at least one (some of us have more...that relative that no one really gets along with - she's grumpy, nasty, contrary, irritating, and even mutters to herself. Yep, one of those.

Thankfully, she was otherwise engaged (or perhaps, not invited) and the night went well apart from a 7 year old beating me at Wii bowling. Of course, I tried to cheat and would up clunking the little booger into oblivion with the Wii remote...accidentally, I swear!!!

He was a tough cookie and wound up winning by almost 150 points. Cheating doesn't pay...especially against a little goober :) Gotta love that kid.

Considering the circumstances, it was a great night. Claude is a perfect addition to the family, Uncle Colin makes amazing turkey, and Aunt Rebecca's cookies are yummy. We all had a wonderful night and hopefully, next holiday season goes just as well...but thankfully, it's a year away.


Have you ever met that person who everyone warns you against? He's trouble, bad news, etc etc. I want to say I listen to the warnings but typically, I have to figure it out for myself. The problem this time is that person doesn't really appear to be anything like the warnings.

There are two obvious possibilities to why this is:

Possibility One:
He's a typical womanizer, think Charlie Sheen's younger brother, who is able to lie to me better than anyone else, acts like a perfect gentleman when I'm around, even though I've told him he has little to no chance, is still trying...but not really pulling out any lines. Officially, he's really just a huge jerk who probably should be slapped because he's pretending to be nice and is considering me a challenge, not a real person.

Possibility Two:
He's actually a genuinely nice person who went a little nuts for awhile, developed a bad reputation and wound up hurt a little in the process. While possibility two might be a little bit hard to believe, since I'm pretty much 'Possibility Two' as well, I can believe it. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a stupid girl. Listen to what other people say but always judge for yourself.

In all honesty, I really don't believe it's the first one...and I'm kind of glad I gave him the chance because he's a pretty awesome friend.

Luckily, Grand Manan hasn't rubbed off on me so much that I just constantly listen to the rumours and thankfully, I've given up trying to please other people just to make them stay friends with me. Grand Manan has a tendency to make or break reputations. I understand people make their own decisions but the problem is that youthful stupidity often fades and yet, people are still left with a reputation that precedes them.

I also had to decide whether or not I was going to be friends with this person because it could/would irritate someone who should be close to me. I attempted to care for about a week but honestly, I'm not doing anything wrong and I think I'm making the right decision to not give up a friendship 'just in case' I hurt someone. Yes, it concerns me but everyone deserves a second chance and the opportunity to be given a fair chance. Thankfully, I'm glad I was called out on judging someone because I firmly believe he's possibility two.

New Year...New Resolutions

I do this every year and for the most part, I believe I'm one of the few who actually accomplish my resolutions. This year, here are my top three:

1) Be able to run a marathon (which means looking up how long a marathon is)

2) Get at least 2 A- or higher this term and the same next term.

3) Give up the TV in my room in res.