Saturday, November 3, 2012

The wonders of the Internet

I have this thought about the internet - it really causes more stress than it's worth sometimes.  For example, I could find out information on my ex, his new gf, his family, friends etc...But I don't want to.  I mean, why would I?  It would hurt me and do absolutely no good - but it's right there.  It's right by my fingers...

Curiosity is a good thing but if you're reading something that makes you unhappy - don't read it.  Walk away and pretend it NEVER existed.  It's hard sometimes (mostly because you're hoping that people have changed or maybe just fell in front of a crowd of people...I dunno...something) but just delete it from your favorites and ignore it forever.

I've had people say they don't like my blog - well, my advice is not to read it.  If it's not for school, it's not for pleasure obviously...why bother if it just makes you upset?  I mean, this is the place where I'm allowed to say what I'm thinking (within reason) and I've made no qualms about my rules on here:

1) I don't lie (my version of the truth may be different than other peoples as I do believe in fairies and unicorns so if you read about one in my blog, it's true).

2) I'm not always nice (I'm not always nice in real life either - get over it).

3) I delete comments if I don't like them - why? because I can.  Simply put, this is my little sanctuary and I'm just not in a place where I want to deal with other people's issues with my writings.

4) I don't use full names - I made that mistake once and deleted the post because it was stupid to do.  I did it purposefully as well - that was because I don't like him.

5) This blog is not about respect, love, peace and bunnies.  If you want that, check out questionablecontent.  It's not about that either but it always makes me's about me...and I'm not always loving or respectful...sometimes I'm hateful and mean...but I'll be honest about it.

So again, my blog = my world.  If you don't like it, I honestly wish you the best and hope you enjoy your corner of the web.  It's a nice spot most of the time and I hear you can find just about anything :p

Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Dishing about my diet

I realized last night that I spend more time on the bus than I do exercising.  My go-to foods have gone from veggies and hummus to pudding cups and oooh...caramel apple dip.  I'm exhausted all the time, my back is starting to hurt again and I'm not as happy as I was with my body.  So I stepped on the scales.


In 2 weeks, I've gained almost 10lbs.  Now I blame Halloween, stress, schoolwork me.  I got lazy and I gained weight.  I stopped exercising.  I kept eating garbage and my poor tummy is expanding.  So then, as I panicked because I was an epic failure, I realized that it's time to stop pretending.

All that crap I told anyone about being healthy and vegan last year - it was crap.  I stopped eating.  I kept to about 500 calories every day and made myself throw up if I ate anything that made me panic.  I cried almost every night because I was never going to be thin enough and thin enough meant "good enough".  I was warped and I was scared...I finally snapped out of it but I'm not doing that again.  I'm still dealing with the damage that was done.   

But I'm not feeling good at this weight either.  So I made a conscious decision today to eat healthy.  Minimum of 1200 calories.  Get out and walk every day for at least 30 minutes or until I hit 5 hrs per week.  Every week until Christmas.  I get to eat whatever I want (veggie or not) on Friday at Suppertime (This includes a couple beers if I really want to).  This does not mean Friday goes into Saturday, into Sunday etc...

So here's the thing.  I need to learn how to develop a happy medium.  And this time, I'm taking it slowly.

And today, I passed on the cupcake because I just didn't feel like it.  Score 1 for me!

Oh, and a self-promoting plea: follow me on Twitter @Dazedstudent

Monday, October 29, 2012

The Facebook Faux pas of relationships

I like to believe that one can remain friends with "the ex" (insert ominous music here) even after one or the other has started a new relationship.  That being said, Facebook is the devil.  It messes up those lines of privacy that people once had, changed how much we WANT to know about other people, and made it so that we no longer control how much information we GET about the person.

Scenario: Bob and Maddie broke up mutually although Maddie did take it harder.  Bob got a new girlfriend and threw a bunch of pics on FB...Maddie drank a LOT that night to deal with those pesky feelings. 

So what exactly do you do when you start dating?  Here's a list of Top 10 FB do's and do not's when in a relationship:

1) If you can't keep your FB open, delete the person.  Yes it's harmless joking or you're used to it or whatever...that doesn't mean it's okay.  If you think someone may message you saying "lets have a sleepover" you may want to consider deleting them.  If you need to hide things, it's not healthy.  You can still be friends but keep it public - face to face (if it's just joking and he's not ACTUALLY asking you to sleep over). 

2) Relationship status can wait - you don't need to immediately put that you're in a new relationship.  Give it some time...seriously, rebounds don't count so give it a LOT of time.  Other people need time to adjust as well.

3) Pics: You don't need to blast your wall with pictures.  Yes you're full of happy hormones but that doesn't mean that everyone else is (or wants to see it).

4) Talk about who you're okay with and who you're not: If you're only friends with someone by means of FB, it may not be the best idea to keep them on when you get into a serious relationship...think about it - you dated them, they're still hanging around but you don't talk often...but they're a constant reminder to the other gal that you had a sex life before her.  Yes, we get it - you got laid...but if I'm not asking, FB shouldn't be doing the telling.  Friends, family, the pastor of your church...but not the pastor's daughter that you had in your parent's back seat.

5) The girl that's just too flirty - "oh hun, that's soooo funny xoxoxo"...gag.  My poor tummy always lurches when a see a Facebook-a-Ho.  They're the girl (or guy) that doesn't understand what they write lacks tone and any sort of background information (aka: they're not that bright) stop being stupid about it!  Don't keep the girl on there that is mushing up your Wall.  It's annoying.

6) Don't keep the boy that the new boyfriend hates: If he's not a friend, really doesn't matter and you know that the two don't get along, is it really going to hurt to let him go?  I'm not saying delete friends or seclude yourself from anyone else - but if you're not a true friend, do you really want to upset him accidentally?

7) Parents/Grandparents - this is always a maybe situation.  If you want privacy, don't expect the new beau to not write on your wall - but perhaps limit some settings?

8) Keep sharp: FB can get out of control very easily.  It's new technology and there are a lot of people that don't understand how to use it properly.  You don't need to advertise your entire life on it. 

9) Avoid Drama: Don't FB the guys ex.  Leave the past in the past...if you need to deal with someone/something, deal with the person you're with - not their baggage.

10) Off-line always matters more - Don't argue online - it never ends well.  The way he treats you offline matters more than stupid rants with the guys that don't involve you on his wall or the fact that he still says "boobies" or...well, just about anything else.  That being said, if he's flirting with someone else, address it.  You've got standards, keep them high. 

FB is like any other tool - use it wisely.  You need to control it, not let it control you.  I find it easier to delete the ex as I don't want to know about their life after.  I'm good - we're over, it's done...and it's too easy to fall back into thinking you like them.  Do what works for you - but keep the other person in mind.  And most importantly...COMMUNICATE!

Sunday, October 28, 2012

Sometimes you just need to walk away...and other times you need to not let go

I had an awkward conversation with someone who's been a friend for awhile now on the bus.  I realized that I have nothing left to say.  It wasn't that I didn't want to talk to him - I was desperately searching to put the right words together, to form that sentence that would take the conversation from forced to natural...but it didn't happen.  I was staring at my friend thinking "I really don't know you, do I?"

The worst part was, as I was thinking that, I also realized that he didn't really care.  I realized that he was perfectly happy keeping me as a friend who caught up on events sometimes and hung out as a last, doesn't sound like much of a friend, does it?  Well, he was...I'll give him that.  Last year, he was probably one of the best friends I had but time changes things, people changes.  That's just how it is.  We didn't work on the friendship over the summer, didn't really try and that supported the idea that yeah, it's not going to really work.  I can't be friends with someone that I'm attempting to force words to come out of my mouth...I just can't.  What am I supposed to say? "How's the weather?"  Yeah, I'm not really up for that sort of fake-friendship.

That being said, I've been fortunate enough (or crazy enough) to restart dating my ex-boyfriend.  I'm getting a little tired of that term "Boyfriend."  Everything is fine until I use that term - then it all goes downhill.  Expectations are made, promises are broken, things fall just gets messy.  But, what else can I call it?  It's a relationship and I'm okay with it. 

He's the sort of guy I don't date - but he's also the sort of guy who's willing to work towards bettering himself and work around my schedule.  Fact is, I used to think he was a massive asshole.  He was a womanizer, a jerk, pushy, egocentric and rather irritating.  He was whiny and basically stuck in a dead end job in his dead end life...then I yelled at him.

Yes, I got angry (surprise, surprise).  He was spewing the same crap over and over again - my girlfriend is a meanie, she did this and that, she cheated, she's not in the relationship...(yep, uh huh) he was dating from the bottom of the barrel..not even in the barrel - dating the rotten leftovers from outside the barrel.

Okay so I was cruel (I choose to believe he choked up a bit and may have cried although he would probably argue that).  Fact is, he was doing the same crap over and over again and expecting different results.

Funny thing is - he listened to me.  He stopped trying to get in my pants and started hanging out as friends.  He also stopped trying to get in OTHER girls pants... He offered to help me with things - from drives to see my boyfriend at the time to just going out for coffee.  When my dog was put down, he called to make sure I was okay.  When my bf and I broke up, he called to make sure I was okay...and didn't hit on me.  He started to give up smoking because it was bugging him...He gave me the space I needed until I finally asked him out.

The funny thing is that I asked him out because I thought I'd get over my ex easier - yep, my plan was to use him and leave was like dating a puppy...cute, fun, but irritating...and then I stopped being so cynical all the time.  He wasn't a jerk...he was a nice guy.  He really's a little weird because I just don't date nice guys.

So when midterms came around, I got stressed and broke up with him...he didn't get upset...he said "okay, let's talk after your tests are over" thought was "you're bat-crap crazy" until after midterms were over and I was apologizing for freaking out...

So here I am realizing that I've found true friends that leave (and it's okay) and true boyfriends that are incredible once I give them a chance to be.  So I might not like the label...but I really do like him (a lot).  And he likes my Ludwig von Turdle.