Wednesday, December 14, 2011

If real life was like Glee

What would happen if real life was like Glee? Yes, the 'teenager's who dance in the halls to different songs and attempt to survive high school' show that has got people dancing in their seats and showing off their spirit fingers. Well, let me tell you...

First, you'll never actually go to class. Your day will consist of hanging out in the halls with friends, singing 'Telephone' in the extremely clean, graffiti-free washroom with a stranger, and dealing with bullies.

You'll immediately be part of a clique. You'll be in Glee-club and, of course, be a loser because talented people suck, right? The jocks hang with the jocks and the cheerleaders are exclusively exclusive...I can't say that reminds me of my high school at all!

You'll try drinking only once. You'll establish it's not for you. Drugs don't exist unless the nurse over-prescribes them.

Anyone you know who is 'out of the closet' will be fabulously dressed.

Jocks are stupid...except the Asian one. They will also get away with throwing slushies at people on a daily basis and not be charged for assault or kicked out of school.

The cheerleading coach has her own office. She will also get away with abusing kids on a regular basis.

Everyone you know will be dressed as though they walked out of a catalog...even if they're trying to look bad, it's 'greasy-goodness.'

No one smokes unless they're trying to be tough.

Everyone will get laid at the same time in the same 30 minutes...but it's not a planned event. It will also be videotaped but that's normal too.

The girl who was your boyfriend's first will be your friend...or at least, tolerated Bullshit she will.

The really stupid girl who believes the Irish boy is a leprechaun...nah, she's not on drugs!

There are no teenage mothers that keep their kids. And only one person actually got pregnant. Obviously, Glee is NOT based in Saint John.

Your friend who was arrested once, slept with your girlfriend, hooked up with your new girlfriend, who is currently hooking up with his child's adopted mother will still be accepted by you.

The lockers will open, the school will be clean and there are no janitors walking around. The teacher's lounge actually looks like a place teachers would WANT to be...not a dungeon.

Everyone can sing...and most people can dance well. You'll spontaneously break out into song and no one will notice...or throw slushies at you. Some people will even join in, in key no less.

Welcome to your life if real-life were like Glee. Personally, I like reality.

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