Sunday, February 19, 2012

Reality Check

Welcome to the real world - you might not be there yet, but someday you will be.

When it comes to handling a complaint about someone, especially in a workplace, put on your big boy boxer-briefs and listen up to the following tips otherwise, you may very well land on your ass when you get a real job and have to handle a real complaint...and I'll be there with my Canon to take a picture.

1) Go to the person- Don't go to your manager, supervisor or anyone else unless you realize the situation is dangerous (ex: they throw knives). You will be seen as a whiny sook and that isn't a character trait for promotions. Suck it up and address the situation yourself.

2) Be to the point- Generalizations are for conversation. Want to be taken seriously? Make a point and then give your evidence. You don't need to be rude but don't be whishy-washy or try to make small-talk - it's irritating.

3) Be prepared to defend your statement with alternatives - Expect the person to ask how you would handle a situation better in an attempt to resolve it accordingly. It's called constructive criticism for a reason, folks. The sooner you learn it, the easier life is.

4) Don't swear- It seems meaner than you're trying to be.

5) Don't take crap- There is a difference between resolving a situation and being crapped on. If you feel as though the person isn't listening, isn't trying or doesn't care, walk away and go above them...AFTER trying to talk to them first though.

6) Do not use an overarching umbrella term- Vague statement are not only unproductive, they're annoying. If you have a problem with someone, be specific. You don't like their cologne, don't talk about the scent policy that should be enforced - talk about the cologne that smells like dog poop (leave out the poop part though).

7) Enough drama- If you keep going at the person again (and again, and again and again...etc), they're going to say they don't care. Why? Because they really don't give a flying...monkey. They could care less about you, your dog, your wife, your family, your school work or your grammy. They lost interest in you after they assumed what was coming out of your mouth was yet another complaint about something that was already being resolved.

8) Man (Or woman) up - Cut out the work-place drama. Unless you want to be seen as a gossiping, immature, unprofessional dink, be seen - not heard. That means you go directly to the person and then, you deal with it face to face with them...not the rest of the office then the person who has already heard you're ticked and is angry that you were gossiping. They also now have a lawsuit for defamation of character being worked up and you're going to owe some money for the comment about their erectile issues.

9) Don't lie- Don't over-exaggerate, don't stretch the truth, don't make statements you can't back up. You may be called out on it and then what are you going to do - you're going to be seen as a liar... (*sarcastically) How very professional of you.

10) Don't back down if you're right - There is such a thing as being 'sort of' right - it means you may be right but there are nicer or easier ways of doing something. Your method works - but so does the other persons. Be willing to agree and compromise but that doesn't mean just back down either. It means come to a resolution you can BOTH agree with - that way, neither of you is actually 'wrong'.

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