Monday, March 26, 2012

The new post-hookup chat

At one point in time, the hardest question or discussion after a hook-up was "I'm pregnant" or maybe "I need an abortion" or something equally as horrible. It wasn't easy but to be honest, I do wonder if the post-hook-up chats are more complicated now.

Think about it - pregnancy can be 'controlled' (mostly) by birth control/condoms etc, people have the option of abortion - it's legal. Granted, I don't think I'd go that route but it is legal. But how do you have the "So, do you have any crotch-region diseases I should know about that will potentially make me feel like a social outcast, could cause infertility or perhaps a decent dose of crazy combined with yellow/green/ (hahah blue) discharge?"

In a perfect world, this discussion should happen before penis/vagina action - it really should but people do stupid things under the influence of sex, drugs, or just the heat of the moment (or an interesting combination). One of the hardest things I've had to tell people who ask about this is "Just be blunt and ask because you have the right to know someone's sexual history if you've been a part of it."

Also, don't forget that some STI's aren't contained with a condom. Herpes is still a possibility. Condoms break and are you sure you used one 100% of the time? It's not that hard to 'slip' or forget, especially where you're under the influence. Yes, I know you want to think of yourself as a mature, responsible adult - but that also means admitting that sometimes you're damn stupid.

Understandably, some people will get offended even if you ask about sexual health and history before you hook up. I suggest you walk away quickly and RUN to the doctor if you're asking in the harsh sunlight of the next day. If someone is offended by a question like that, it shows a sincere ignorance for their own personal health.

Admittedly (not my admittedly of course because I firmly believe what happens, happens and I neither regret nor apologize for a mutual decision) hooking up is awkward the next morning anyways. You're out of "that moment," the magic that is booze wore off and crap, they're not as cute as you remember (sometimes they are - but usually post-coital, they aren't) and it's a little weird.

I describe it as feeling like you're walking around in soggy sneakers. Maybe no one else will know, maybe you can keep it to yourself, maybe you don't care a whole lot or it's great (Like running through puddles during a summer rain-shower) but at some point, it's a little uncomfortable...especially if the other person is feeling awkward.

Be responsible with your health, people. Currently Saint John has an outbreak of STI's - some of which have some terrible repercussions. If he's (or she) hooking up with you, chances are he's hooking up with other people and this can EASILY get messy (in several ways). Have fun but be safe with your health.

You can put a baby up for adoption but try telling the person you have fallen in love with that you have HIV. I can't imagine what that's like but it must sort of suck. An STD is not like cancer - people generally don't offer to bake you a casserole or take you to the doctor when you need it. They shun you because you're "dirty"...and that's scary. It's terrifying to think of yourself as society would think of you so people think ignorance is bliss.

Guess what - it's not! So be safe, have fun and ask the hard questions at some point. You have the right to be healthy. You have the right to be happy - now put the two together!

No comments:

Post a Comment