New Scale = New Weight

So, I broke down and bought a scale tonight (measuring it against my old scale which is 5lbs heavier than what it should be).  The other bonus is that this scale is apparently very accurate which is nice - and it measures by the 10th of a lb so I can see mini differences.  Turns out that what I thought I weighed was actually off by about 6lbs.  I'm pretty happy about that!

 Realistically, I should be thrilled about the weight loss. Lately, I've just been grumpy.  After this event, I'm going to start eating right and exercising properly with less worry.  I would like to up my goal weight to my birthday - I know that's weird but I'd like to enjoy a happy healthy birthday (with no cake because yes, I'm allergic).  

So wish me luck and I'll keep writing.  Hopefully this time I can actually keep the weight off and lose it healthily! Fingers crossed for goals! 

-Sammy 

Running Pros and Cons

So you want to take up running? Good for you...now run away! 

Just kidding! 

Below is a list of things I've experienced because of running..the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good

Weight Loss and Toning Up - always a bonus when you're ass is perkier than a Kardashian and your arms don't threaten to catch the breeze and fly you away.
 
You're a runner now - You're in that elite group of people who sail down the sidewalk and make other people jealous (or assume you're batcrap crazy).  

You'll meet new people - Runners are a friendly bunch...they like to talk about running, help others out and dish about the latest shoes, technology, magazine etc.  Listen and learn, young doodlebug.  

You get to eat...a LOT!  I have never eaten more than when I'm running.  Protein shakes, eggs, pasta, more pasta...carbs and protein are your friend.  Love them. 

You will feel better - Two words: Runners High.  It's like drugs only better.  

Stress relief - If you're not having regular sex, running is the next best thing.  This just makes me seem sad.  Running releases a bunch of brain chemicals that just feels good.  Try it.  You'll like it. 

The Bad

Overtraining, pain, more pain - Show me a runner who isn't sore and I'll show you a walker.  You'll be pushing yourself if new...and there will be some (mild) pain.  If it really hurts, don't push it...but your muscles will feel used.  Overtraining just sucks - you think you can do more, you do more and you hurt yourself...do more...only slowly.

Shoes = money - Running is pretty cheap.  You + pavement = running.  Running shoes = not cheap.  Expect to spend between 60-150 on shoes.  Do NOT go cheap or your feet, legs, tooshie, hips, shoulders, neck...basically your entire body...will be angry.  

Downers - These are people who see you feeling better, eating wiser, focusing on running and say "oh you're getting too skinny" or "Isn't that dangerous?" or some other stupid thing.  The worst are the "outdoers".  You ran 5miles...they did 6.  You broke your personal best - they doubled it.  They can't be happy for you mostly because they're miserable with themselves.  Attempt to ignore them because they are just downers. 

Food - You aren't eating the cake, the chips, the cookies or the pop because your body is training to run...you know it'll make you feel icky but that cake looks so good.  Eat it...it kinda doesn't feel as good in your stomach anymore...try a dried apple snack.

Laundry - I sweat. A lot.  I soak through my clothing, my hats, and usually get sweat burning in my eyes.  My shoes are damp, I look like I peed myself...seriously, it's gross.  I do laundry almost every day because stinky socks...not fun.  Stinky socks, pants, shirt, and jacket is just rank!

The Ugly

Feet - Your feet will probably be gross.  I just lost a toenail from a simple fall, bruise, and gone.  There was some bleeding...it was gross.  I also have callouses the size of small barnyard animals and dry skin all the time.  Welcome to the world of running. 

Throwing up - I am a pretty easy upchucker so some people don't have this problem.  Running in the summer can lead to overheating which can easily lead to woofing ones cookies...in the street...during traffic.  Yay. Such a sexy moment.

Dogs and other animals - I like my face. I'd like to keep it. Watch for dogs.

Feeling out of shape - If you make the mistake of judging yourself according to others, you're going to feel like the food you just threw up.  Watch yourself...make your own goals...don't try to be like someone else otherwise, you'll just be let down. 

Four Words from a Past Memory

"How's your easter going"....That's the text I got from "1" this evening.  1 is the one guy I regret pushing away from me...and quite out of the blue I get this text.  Let's just say, more words and memories went through my head in a minute than the entire day.

If I could apologize for my words and actions, it would be the most heartfelt apology this ice queen could muster.  I'm sorry that I got scared.  I realized that I could in fact feel things for a guy again and I wanted that...but that scared me.  He broke down my 'ice queen' heart - the one that allowed me to hurt anyone, be careless with people's emotions, and walk away perfectly in control and unfeeling.  That was terrifying and admittedly, I handled it horribly.  I pulled away fast, I intentionally hurt him, I blamed him for my own fears, and didn't even realize I was doing it.

I'm sorry that I didn't realize it because I lost a pretty amazing friend...someone I could tell anything to and know it would stay hidden away.  I could get his advice on anything from my fashion choice to school.  And we had fun.

I sort of hope he still reads my blog because I miss him. 

-16.8lbs and once again eating real food.

I went for a run thinking I'd be okay a few days ago.  I'm not entirely sure why...I hadn't eaten for 5 days and hardly drank any of the lemonaid I was supposed to drink on my quick weight loss diet.  Anyways, I felt miserable and so, I ate something.  Yep, I made soup.  

Now, some would call this a failure - I read one blog post about how I was, in fact, a failure and shouldn't be proud of myself for quitting this "cleanse" (fad diet that I had no intentions of maintaining for any amount of time).  My response was an eloquent "Screw you. Go eat something. You're being nasty from being HUNGRY!"  

I lost about 8lbs on the diet (WOOT!) but more than that, I restarted myself on a very clean, healthy eating program.  I'm back to vegetarian (except seafood right now as I'm on a salmon/calamari kick).  I've only been eating for two days and have FINALLY weaned myself off the desire to snack while doing homework.  So far, so good.

That being said, by day five I had recognized that this was something that could lead me back to that really dark place I was in a couple summers ago.  Yes, I was thin...I was also quite sick.  So please, if you feel you may have any sort of disordered eating, don't do this.  This is the first time I recognized it and decided to eat something...even if I gained an ounce or two.  I made a huge pot of calamari, roasted red pepper and tomato stew (yum), strawberries and celery and bought vegan protein powder (kind of gritty but great flavour).  

And guess what? I've still lost weight!  So far, since I went gluten free I've lost 16.8lbs.  I'm still planning to lose a significant amount of weight before Guatemala.  I've got another 28.2lbs until I hit my goal weight.  Using the NOOM app, I'm on schedule for July 6th if I lose 2lbs/week. 

Right now, I have a really cute (and clingy) dress to wear in exactly 7 days (and graduation on May 31st) so I'm working out a little harder and yes, eating a little less.  I'm pounding back water - no pop, no juice.  I'm drinking less than 3 cups of coffee daily (usually try to limit it to just one).  I eat breakfast (protein shakes) every day and try to eat a snack before bed that is about 150 calories.

Weight loss isn't easy - Gaining weight is.  Doing nothing about it is also really easy.  Deciding to be healthy is a choice.  It doesn't take fancy gadgets or expensive food - it means changing your mindset and deciding that being healthy is better.  

For me, it's about getting down that final 28lbs and then learning to be happy at that weight.  The first part I can do easily enough - I have a lot of willpower...the second part...well, more to come on that later.  

Day 5 MasterCleanse

It's halfway over.  Whoever says this mastercleanse cleanse is fun or enlightening is full of crap.  Well, no they aren't full of crap because they've pooped it all out from the laxative tea one needs to drink.

I'm hungry.  I'm grumpy.  I'm an angry individual at the moment.  I want pizza, hot dogs, steak, sausage, hamburgers, sandwiches...basically all the foods I don't (or can't) eat.  

The good thing about all this is that I'm using this diet to lose weight.  I'm vegetarian, I am gluten and dairy free, and I exercise 4-6 times a week so I don't really bother with cleanses.  The problem is that I am feeling a little poofy lately because of the gluten weight gain.  Try about 20lbs in a month.  It sucked!

So yes, this isn't a healthy diet.  If you think it is, go talk to a nutritionist.  If you're desperate to lose some weight before an event, try the Mastercleanse.  

Weight loss to date: 7.5lbs in 5 days.