Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Running Pros and Cons

So you want to take up running? Good for you...now run away! 

Just kidding! 

Below is a list of things I've experienced because of running..the good, the bad and the ugly.

The Good

Weight Loss and Toning Up - always a bonus when you're ass is perkier than a Kardashian and your arms don't threaten to catch the breeze and fly you away.
You're a runner now - You're in that elite group of people who sail down the sidewalk and make other people jealous (or assume you're batcrap crazy).  

You'll meet new people - Runners are a friendly bunch...they like to talk about running, help others out and dish about the latest shoes, technology, magazine etc.  Listen and learn, young doodlebug.  

You get to eat...a LOT!  I have never eaten more than when I'm running.  Protein shakes, eggs, pasta, more pasta...carbs and protein are your friend.  Love them. 

You will feel better - Two words: Runners High.  It's like drugs only better.  

Stress relief - If you're not having regular sex, running is the next best thing.  This just makes me seem sad.  Running releases a bunch of brain chemicals that just feels good.  Try it.  You'll like it. 

The Bad

Overtraining, pain, more pain - Show me a runner who isn't sore and I'll show you a walker.  You'll be pushing yourself if new...and there will be some (mild) pain.  If it really hurts, don't push it...but your muscles will feel used.  Overtraining just sucks - you think you can do more, you do more and you hurt yourself...do more...only slowly.

Shoes = money - Running is pretty cheap.  You + pavement = running.  Running shoes = not cheap.  Expect to spend between 60-150 on shoes.  Do NOT go cheap or your feet, legs, tooshie, hips, shoulders, neck...basically your entire body...will be angry.  

Downers - These are people who see you feeling better, eating wiser, focusing on running and say "oh you're getting too skinny" or "Isn't that dangerous?" or some other stupid thing.  The worst are the "outdoers".  You ran 5miles...they did 6.  You broke your personal best - they doubled it.  They can't be happy for you mostly because they're miserable with themselves.  Attempt to ignore them because they are just downers. 

Food - You aren't eating the cake, the chips, the cookies or the pop because your body is training to run...you know it'll make you feel icky but that cake looks so good.  Eat it...it kinda doesn't feel as good in your stomach anymore...try a dried apple snack.

Laundry - I sweat. A lot.  I soak through my clothing, my hats, and usually get sweat burning in my eyes.  My shoes are damp, I look like I peed myself...seriously, it's gross.  I do laundry almost every day because stinky socks...not fun.  Stinky socks, pants, shirt, and jacket is just rank!

The Ugly

Feet - Your feet will probably be gross.  I just lost a toenail from a simple fall, bruise, and gone.  There was some bleeding...it was gross.  I also have callouses the size of small barnyard animals and dry skin all the time.  Welcome to the world of running. 

Throwing up - I am a pretty easy upchucker so some people don't have this problem.  Running in the summer can lead to overheating which can easily lead to woofing ones cookies...in the street...during traffic.  Yay. Such a sexy moment.

Dogs and other animals - I like my face. I'd like to keep it. Watch for dogs.

Feeling out of shape - If you make the mistake of judging yourself according to others, you're going to feel like the food you just threw up.  Watch yourself...make your own goals...don't try to be like someone else otherwise, you'll just be let down. 

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