My boyfriend get's upset when I say I still hear those words - stupid girl. For the longest time, I did everything in order to get my ex-husband back. The more I succeeded, the more I was getting him back because I was proving I wasn't stupid.
This year, albeit it slowly, I am doing more and more for myself. It's not about him, it's not about anyone else but I like being able to do things for others, to help other people and to feel good. I'm able to take pride in myself but more than that, I'm able to say I'm passionate about things again.
I'm still terrified of failing at times but I'm starting to realize that people fail. If I want law school badly enough, I'll get it - even if it means going into the states or someplace else in the world to do it. I'll get there. I'm scared to fail but I'm even more scared that I'll constantly be afraid of failure.
Now, if only I can get past my fear of relationships. Yes, I'm dating a great guy at the moment and my heart is on the other side of the world...I do like him - I love his company...I was miserable when I broke up with him but I really don't know what's up lately...I feel as though my guard is constantly up because I'm going to end up hurt - even though he's admitted I'm a little different...I'm pretty sure that's a good 'different' though.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
The argument for coffee
Hi, my name is Sam and I am a coffee-addict. Before trying to write an essay, I drank approximately 10 cups of coffee...why? Because it's yummy.
Problem: I really need to pee a lot.
Solution: Write from the potty...okay, so that doesn't work because the bathroom does not have enough outlets to plug in my computer (Like I own a laptop - I'm rather anti-technology).
So back to work and fingers crossed that my bladder becomes stronger!
Problem: I really need to pee a lot.
Solution: Write from the potty...okay, so that doesn't work because the bathroom does not have enough outlets to plug in my computer (Like I own a laptop - I'm rather anti-technology).
So back to work and fingers crossed that my bladder becomes stronger!
I sent my editorial to 4 people today because I still can't read it out loud: E (my friend who is leaving), my exboyfriend/friend, my mother, and my writer friend Violet. E sent me something that I am so glad to have read because, although I'm still sad, this editorial has been therapeutic (I promise I'll post it here when the paper goes out).
I learned that living with regret is no way to live. And that if you say what's on your mind (like considering long-distance) sometimes things work out.
I also learned that my friends have changed my life more than a good grade, more than losing weight and even more than leaving Justin. Now, I can cry because I'm sad - but I can also cry because I'm so happy for them and their opportunities.
the message about my editorial:
I’m so Proud of you Samantha; I know it must have been a little different writing this piece because it was a somewhat more personal to you than the average school article, but what it showed in light of that is your ability to connect with readers. I grantee you that anyone who reads this will be able to relate to it in a myriad of different ways. From beginning to end it was succinct, clear not too much fluff and very much to the point, with humour in all the right places. (I know it seems like I’m critiquing your work, but its building up to a point, promise!)
The article was very much to the point and yet broad enough to be relatable to your target audience. The soul of delivery is in the assertion of the writer’s personality within the topic subject, which you have done seamlessly. All this gives me a glimpse into your future and whether it’s writing closing arguments within a court room, or editing the jacket to your latest book. This is evidence that you have IT, the factor that is required to become a great Knight of the pen, a Composer of Words, the ability to convey both a perceived point and empathy to your chosen audience.
A rare gift given to few utilized by even fewer and no matter what obstacles life presents you with, let this always be a reminder to you, that you have IT all. The necessary skill and the ability to inform influence and entertain all at the same time (which leads me to believe that you you’d make a great Orator as well [a Politian maybe??! ;] )
When the time comes and you are faced with the need to convey to your audience your position or stand your ground just speak from the same place this article came from and I guarantee you will be an UNSTOPPABLE Force. Much like fish don’t try to swim they just do and birds don’t try to fly, your natural ability refined over the years will come to light.
I just hope that whenever that maybe, in whatever setting, I will get the opportunity to witness the spectacle that is S.Tinker ( or if I may Tinkertude!!! :D
)
I learned that living with regret is no way to live. And that if you say what's on your mind (like considering long-distance) sometimes things work out.
I also learned that my friends have changed my life more than a good grade, more than losing weight and even more than leaving Justin. Now, I can cry because I'm sad - but I can also cry because I'm so happy for them and their opportunities.
the message about my editorial:
I’m so Proud of you Samantha; I know it must have been a little different writing this piece because it was a somewhat more personal to you than the average school article, but what it showed in light of that is your ability to connect with readers. I grantee you that anyone who reads this will be able to relate to it in a myriad of different ways. From beginning to end it was succinct, clear not too much fluff and very much to the point, with humour in all the right places. (I know it seems like I’m critiquing your work, but its building up to a point, promise!)
The article was very much to the point and yet broad enough to be relatable to your target audience. The soul of delivery is in the assertion of the writer’s personality within the topic subject, which you have done seamlessly. All this gives me a glimpse into your future and whether it’s writing closing arguments within a court room, or editing the jacket to your latest book. This is evidence that you have IT, the factor that is required to become a great Knight of the pen, a Composer of Words, the ability to convey both a perceived point and empathy to your chosen audience.
A rare gift given to few utilized by even fewer and no matter what obstacles life presents you with, let this always be a reminder to you, that you have IT all. The necessary skill and the ability to inform influence and entertain all at the same time (which leads me to believe that you you’d make a great Orator as well [a Politian maybe??! ;] )
When the time comes and you are faced with the need to convey to your audience your position or stand your ground just speak from the same place this article came from and I guarantee you will be an UNSTOPPABLE Force. Much like fish don’t try to swim they just do and birds don’t try to fly, your natural ability refined over the years will come to light.
I just hope that whenever that maybe, in whatever setting, I will get the opportunity to witness the spectacle that is S.Tinker ( or if I may Tinkertude!!! :D
)
Saturday, February 25, 2012
my own advice
One of the pieces of advice I gave in my article was that regret is sometimes worse than sadness...so guess who's over for pizza and a movie? That's right, Pookie.
So I'm off to indulge in vegetarian pizza and Immortals and go from there.
So I'm off to indulge in vegetarian pizza and Immortals and go from there.
A snipet of my editoral this week
Saying goodbye is one of the worst feelings in the world – the reason is because when you say goodbye to a person you care about, a piece of your heart stays with them. It means you’ll always be there for them and you’ll forever have a piece of them in your heart.
This week, I said goodbye to two of my good people for two completely different reasons. I broke up with an amazing person because he’s leaving to go to Fredericton in the fall. I was scared to say goodbye then, so I walked away now. Dr. Phil may ask how that worked for me – it worked but it didn’t make it better. To everyone who is in a position like this, don’t shy away from your friends (or relationships) because you’re afraid to be hurt. Regret can be worse than sadness.
I’m also in the process of saying goodbye to one of those people who walked into my life and changed my life for the better. He taught me that it’s possible to like everyone although I actually haven’t learned how to yet. He’s the sort of person that I am so blessed to have met but school is over for him and real life must begin. I can only wish him the best and threaten to visit because I want to pet a camel.
This has been the hardest one to write - I've been sitting here for 30 minutes crying but I also think it's the most truthful I've ever been in an editorial.
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