Friday, January 11, 2013

5 things...

Today was one of those days - you know the kind where emotionally, physically and mentally you're just drained? One of those days.  So...5 things I am grateful for...

1) I am grateful that my job finally listened and is letting me leave 5 minutes early so that I can catch the earlier bus home - I was at my wits end getting home at 10:40 and trying to cram studying in that late (then up at 6-7am for more homework).  I knew I couldn't keep up so I explained the situation.

2) I'm grateful that I have the opportunity to travel to Costa Rica in December to work with sea turtles!!! :D (More details on that once I'm fully registered - waiting for 250$ to put my deposit down).  It's voluntourism...helping and being a tourist at the same time (more helping as I'll be in a pretty remote area...)

3) I am grateful that I don't need to take 5 courses this term - four more and I'm a GRADUATE!!! 4 years has gone on long enough :) It's been fun but I'm ready for a new adventure (even though I'm grateful for it).

4) I'm grateful for the couple that came in tonight, appreciated my honesty about pillows (I knew the woman was NOT going to like the one she chose and I asked if she'd be okay waiting for a sale and getting one that was way more expensive but would last longer...).  She was so impressed, they wrote a WOW card for me! I like people like that!

5) I am grateful that I got to see my boyfriend today - I am mixed on this one though.  He told me he's looking at moving to Moncton which is a) further away and b) not SJ...where I live...where he could get a job...where we could be closer? Okay then. Wonderful. Thanks a bunch.  Needless to say, this is why I'm up at close to midnight...why? because I'm rather angry.  I love him but he says this stuff and doesn't seem to think about the consequences it has on me - so what am I supposed to do?
      I was almost to the point of just walking away...I'm tired of the stupid smoking and him not really seeming to understand that I HATE the fact that he smokes, I hate the smell, it makes me gag, it's just gross and oh yeah, I'm watching the guy I love kill himself. Sure. Because if we stay together until we're 60 and he gets lung cancer, I'm going to be angry and sad and scared and hurt.  I'm tired of him constantly being short-answered when I ask a question - it's annoying and I just want to tell him off. 
     And yet, I'm still grateful for him because he's a genuinely good person.  He's a sweetheart who would do anything to try to make me happy and I do love him...I just have a hard time working on relationships - I wasn't kidding when I said in class (as my friend turned purple laughing) "Oh, I'm bad at commitment"...I wasn't joking and she knew it.
     I guess I wish this relationship was easier...I know that sounds lazy and I'm not trying to be - I just wish we didn't have the smoking to fight about or, I guess, Moncton now.  I even mentioned "okay, well I could go to school up there" (which I could) and no response...well, thanks for including me in your plan, sweetie.

6) (I don't think 5 counted)...I am grateful that my beer bread turned out wonderfully - it was great with dinner :)

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