I have come to the conclusion that I have had a lot of body image problems in the past. I used extremely unhealthy measures for the sake of losing weight and was downright miserable - I laughed, smiled, had fun...but my throat was constantly sore from throwing up, my body hurt all the time, I had headaches...and I still have damage in my foot from running too much and not eating enough (or at all some days).
I am trying to lose a few pounds again as I'm running again even with some foot pain (provided it's not too bad or starts bruising again) - but I caught myself weighing myself 2 days in a row...and realized a few things about me. I like myself. I would never tell one of my friends they were fat nor would I care to judge them based on their weigh! So why do I do it to myself? (I did have my friend Dana ask me to inspect her groceries but I was extremely proud of her mostly healthy basket of food - way more varied lunches than her first year :) I would never ask someone to hurt themselves to lose weight - so why did I do it to myself?
I may never be totally happy with my body but I will not hurt myself to make myself smaller. I will not try to lose weight just to fit into a smaller jean size. I refuse to judge myself based on someone's warped view of dress size or pretty or anything else...I want to run. I want to enjoy my life...but I want to have a life that doesn't centre around food.
So here's to a healthy image - to all those trying to lose weight in the new year, keep it up and do it healthily. Make sustainable changes and exercise! Stop doing those bad habit things and grow as a person.