Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The dangers of holding a grudge

Today, I experienced one of the most depressing parts of human nature - the wrath of a person who is holding a grudge. In my experience, a grudge is like an open sore. Instead of healing, this sore gets worse and worse until it begins festering and attacking the skin around it. Eventually, a tiny little cut can actually kill a person. A grudge is pretty much the same thing; it grows and grown until it overtakes the humanity and it just explodes in rage and hatred.

I am pretty terrible at holding grudges. As much as I say I hate Justin (my ex-husband), I don't really. Dislike - for sure...but hate? no. Why don't I hate him? He's not worth the time of day to hate. He's a jerk and a terrible human being who was cruel to me but I'm doing better now. Everything happens for a reason and because I married him and kept trying to make it work, I realized that when I'm ready for a relationship again, I'll fight to make it work. I don't even hate his mother...even if she is comparable to the wicked witch of the west.

Either way, grudges are terrible. They're not an emotion - they're a cancer of emotions. They grow and overtake feelings and physically hurt people. I get it that people aren't always going to get alone but really, people need to 'get over it'. If someone hurts you, walk away and invoke karma.

Also, we don't know what the other person is experiencing when we take out our anger. For me, it was a terrible day and I didn't even have the emotional strength to tell them to get out of my office. Instead, I sent them this email which I truly believe in. I refuse to be angry over someone's anger towards me. I choose to be at peace with myself, love my life and take refuge in my friends, my family and the people who give me strength on a daily basis. I want to be an example of love, compassion and understanding - not hatred, intolerance, and rudeness. Will I always succeed? No - but I will try my best.

The email:

I sincerely hope you had the opportunity to take whatever shots you wished to take at me and can continue on with your life peacefully. My grandfather was hit by a car this morning and killed so I went to the one place I find solace - the office. After wholeheartedly congratulating you on getting into your field of choice, hearing your condescending criticizing rant was the last thing I needed to hear today.

Frankly, I don't care if you don't respect, like or even care about me but please be aware that your grudges and your words do affect other people. You took cheap shots without knowing I was already down. I hope you're satisfied that you succeeded in making me feel bad.

I refuse to hold grudges or atomicity towards you though. I am glad you got into ***** College and I hope you have a great time. I hope your words directed at me today were healing for you. I wish you a wonderful life and achieve every dream you desire. I hope for the best for you and I sincerely hope you're at peace with this year.

(sentence deleted due to personal identity) I formally request that you never contact me again because, as far as I'm concerned, you've said everything you need to say and anything else, I don't need to hear.


Samantha Tinker

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