Recipe Time

Sweet 'n' Sour Chili 

Ingredients:

1/2 pkg firm tofu (I usually leave it out all afternoon on paper towel to drain it)

1 can whole tomatoes (drained)

1 medium onion

Garlic (as much as you like)

small can of pineapple

EVOO (extra virgin olive oil) - 1 swirl around the pan

Veggies (whatever you want)

splash of apple cider vinegar

Any spices you may like (I use Mrs. Dash and pepper but basil, oregano, chili's, curry - whatever you enjoy would work).

Instructions

1) Throw tofu in pot and smoosh it.  Crank it up on high until it sizzles than lower the heat.  

2) Add EVOO to large frying pan.  Add chopped onion and garlic.

3) When onions are soft, add a splash of vinegar and pineapple juice.  Taste it.  Do you like it? Balance out your flavours here - I usually go half and half.

4) Add whatever other spices you like.

5) Add veggies (I used spinach this time but I've thrown in carrots, mushroom, broccoli, green beans - most anything will work - I use some pineapple chunks as well). 

6) When this is hot, start adding tomatoes to the mix. Stir it up.  Keep watching the tofu that is simmering away.             

7) When tomatoes are hot, add to the tofu.  Stir it around and turn up the heat.  It shouldn't boil but it should be simmering.  When it's hot, serve it up.

Okay - so my recipes are definitely ad-lib.  Don't feel like you NEED to add garlic if you hate it - want more pineapple? Add more! Have fun with it and keep taste testing - for your flavour.  Usually I use hot peppers until my friend's eyes are watering...I'm perfectly fine.  This time, since it's for gramp, I left the hot stuff out. 

Cheers! 

I don't feel like Running

I don't feel like running today.  Well, I don't.  I know I'll feel better...I know the ache isn't really pain.  My hangnail doesn't count as an excuse.  My shoes aren't wet - it's not snowing.  But I don't feel like it.

So I'll just put on my running clothes.  I won't go...I'll just see how I feel in my sweats. 

Well, maybe just a quick walk down the block and back.  

Maybe just a mile...

Maybe another.

I guess I felt like running today...

My chats with my Grampy

Over the past few days, I've had the opportunity to spend a lot of time with my grandfather. Even with the stress, it's been a blessing to have that time with him.  We've had some great talks about different things and here are some things I've picked up on:

-Love isn't about expression, it's visible in a person's face. Gramp looks at Gram like she is the most beautiful, valuable, wonderful woman in the entire world. 

-Justin Beiber is young and is making too much money.  Stop worshiping these kids - it's not healthy on them...or on the people who are idolizing their heroes!

-His faith isn't a part of him, it is him.  He told me if I cry when he dies it will be because I miss him but he'll be in a better place (because THAT made me feel better).

-He is happy because he is content with what he has. He doesn't want more 'stuff'

-He's proud of me and loves me unconditionally.  I might not be a parent...but I wouldn't mind a grandkid someday :)           

That Stupid Voice

I heard that voice again tonight - it was the same one I heard constantly two years ago.  It was just a whisper in the back of my head that told me if I just stop eating, Bamp will get better...figure that one out.  I know logically this is a lie - it is physically impossible. 

I know it's my mind's way of coping with stress - it's easier to focus on being hungry, on losing weight, on obsessing with every calorie than it is to be afraid or cry every time I'm alone.  

I know I can't listen to that voice.  I can't give in for a second or else I'm going to be sick again.  My body will be sore, I'll be full of bruises and I'll have my fingers down my throat once again.  I don't need to go back to that place again - it was hard enough to crawl out of the first two times around.  So I'm going to go get a shower...then I'm going to drink some juice and eat a spoonful of peanut butter.

Welcome to the world of anxiety...it manifests itself in so many ways but none of them are healthy.  

    

Break-Down

You know that moment - when you think "I'm not going to cry"...and then you just lose it and start sobbing?  Well, just had another one of those.  I'm doubling up the layers again and am actually going for a run - Hopefully, I can clear my mind and just calm down.