Dating is supposed to be simple, right? I'm not sure who said it was supposed to be easy, I just thought it was supposed to be:
Girl meets guy,
Guy likes girl,
Girl and guy date
Guy and girl fall for one another
Happily ever after or the alternate ending is girl tells all guys friend's she caught him in bed with his best guy friend and kicks him in balls where he needs surgery to extract his testicle.
Anyways...
So why is it when I kiss one guy I'm thinking about another? Why is it that one stupid comment pissed me off so much I walked away...oh yeah, because I'm terrified of being hurt.
Needless to say, I have myself in something of a predicament. I have a really sweet guy...now, obviously, it won't work out because he's leaving in either April or August and we've agreed long distance is not really an option (neither of us like the idea).
But why am I not happy now?
What happened to easy?
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Friday, February 3, 2012
date night
There is something to be said about going on an amazing date- Relish (restaurant) and Haywire (movie).
I went out with S. again tonight and I have to say, I kinda like him. It's definitely not in a 'we're going to be together forever' sort of thing but I truly enjoy his company.
Yesterday, when things were just crappy, he made me feel better just by being around and distracting me for a bit. It was really a great thing.
Anyways, I'm off to bed but I have a smile on my face and thought I'd post a happy moment.
I went out with S. again tonight and I have to say, I kinda like him. It's definitely not in a 'we're going to be together forever' sort of thing but I truly enjoy his company.
Yesterday, when things were just crappy, he made me feel better just by being around and distracting me for a bit. It was really a great thing.
Anyways, I'm off to bed but I have a smile on my face and thought I'd post a happy moment.
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
goose fraba
I've realized, after cooking supper with a great friend and with time, I can't stay angry because it hurts me too much. I'm not the type of person who holds grudges and it breaks my heart into a million pieces. I care about my friends too much to stay angry. Yes, it may or may not have hurt my GPA but it'll hurt a lot more to just decide I don't want to be friends anymore. Am I perfectly okay - nope. But this situation will never happen again and I don't want to hurt my friends by staying angry.
As far as being told I would be ditched over age...I'm going to be perfectly realistic. It's probably not going to happen. At the end of the day, 25 beats 30 any day...and here's another thought, if that's what he really thinks, he should walk away now.
Funny thing about me - I'm admittedly not a nice person and I don't play games fairly. I cheat. It's this really interesting thing: Girls get mad when you introduce yourself as the girl who's been hooking up with their boyfriend and the only reason he chose her was because she was old. Hmmm...I like the sounds of that.
I'm chalking that comment up to quitting smoking and now onto the happy note: because I haven't all day, I'm enjoying cheesecake, club soda and working on homework. I'm also more caffeinated which has me MUCH less grumpy. Bring on the coffee :D
As far as being told I would be ditched over age...I'm going to be perfectly realistic. It's probably not going to happen. At the end of the day, 25 beats 30 any day...and here's another thought, if that's what he really thinks, he should walk away now.
Funny thing about me - I'm admittedly not a nice person and I don't play games fairly. I cheat. It's this really interesting thing: Girls get mad when you introduce yourself as the girl who's been hooking up with their boyfriend and the only reason he chose her was because she was old. Hmmm...I like the sounds of that.
I'm chalking that comment up to quitting smoking and now onto the happy note: because I haven't all day, I'm enjoying cheesecake, club soda and working on homework. I'm also more caffeinated which has me MUCH less grumpy. Bring on the coffee :D
*sigh* men
It seems like every emotion in me is going a little haywire - just confused, not in control and I absolutely loathe not having control.
I did a test worth yesterday and a person who wasn't supposed to be there, was. This is an intentionally vague statement due to conflicts and concerns regarding both our professionalism.
I'm still absolutely furious and I can't get over it yet. I apologized for not giving him a chance to explain and jumping to being a 'bitch' but just because I handed it wrong, doesn't mean I'm okay with what happened. I'm hurt and angry and frankly, I felt violated and trapped. I can't 'not' be angry right now but ever fiber of my being says 'get over it' because that's what I always do. Someone hurts me and I let it go. Problem: you don't mess with my GPA. I have sacrificed feeling human at times for those 2 numbers, so I'm not 'getting over it' right away.
Second thing: I let my heart get more involved than I'm comfortable with and now I want to run.
I know what it's like to experience the worst heartbreak in the world; it's the heartbreak where life stops and the person that was your life, your world - isn't there anymore. It's the heartbreak where you lose yourself completely anyway you can - sleep, not eating, running, drinking, smoking, as long as it doesn't hurt anymore.
I'm definitely not there as far as that level of caring but the fact that I do care scares me. I have trained myself to associate caring with getting hurt and getting hurt is miserable. I go back to 'that' level of hurt...it's never going to be that bad again but it's the only real heartbreak I've experienced.
I have this really good 'confident, brave, sarcastic, witty, bitch' thing going for me and while it's all 'me', I don't like the idea of being 'let go' just because my age is wrong. Yeah, that's a good feeling. I'm sorry, what the hell am I supposed to do about my age?
Funny thing is, I've done more in my 25 years than most people do in their lifetime. I'm okay with my age - unfortunately, apparently some people aren't.
I still believe I'll find someone to settle down with someday, someone who'll wake me up with coffee and send flowers to my office after I win a big case. I'm just worried that I'm going to wake up one morning and realize he's already passed me and I was too busy with my coat of the season.
I did a test worth yesterday and a person who wasn't supposed to be there, was. This is an intentionally vague statement due to conflicts and concerns regarding both our professionalism.
I'm still absolutely furious and I can't get over it yet. I apologized for not giving him a chance to explain and jumping to being a 'bitch' but just because I handed it wrong, doesn't mean I'm okay with what happened. I'm hurt and angry and frankly, I felt violated and trapped. I can't 'not' be angry right now but ever fiber of my being says 'get over it' because that's what I always do. Someone hurts me and I let it go. Problem: you don't mess with my GPA. I have sacrificed feeling human at times for those 2 numbers, so I'm not 'getting over it' right away.
Second thing: I let my heart get more involved than I'm comfortable with and now I want to run.
I know what it's like to experience the worst heartbreak in the world; it's the heartbreak where life stops and the person that was your life, your world - isn't there anymore. It's the heartbreak where you lose yourself completely anyway you can - sleep, not eating, running, drinking, smoking, as long as it doesn't hurt anymore.
I'm definitely not there as far as that level of caring but the fact that I do care scares me. I have trained myself to associate caring with getting hurt and getting hurt is miserable. I go back to 'that' level of hurt...it's never going to be that bad again but it's the only real heartbreak I've experienced.
I have this really good 'confident, brave, sarcastic, witty, bitch' thing going for me and while it's all 'me', I don't like the idea of being 'let go' just because my age is wrong. Yeah, that's a good feeling. I'm sorry, what the hell am I supposed to do about my age?
Funny thing is, I've done more in my 25 years than most people do in their lifetime. I'm okay with my age - unfortunately, apparently some people aren't.
I still believe I'll find someone to settle down with someday, someone who'll wake me up with coffee and send flowers to my office after I win a big case. I'm just worried that I'm going to wake up one morning and realize he's already passed me and I was too busy with my coat of the season.
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
What university has taught me
The non-conventional learnings through my university career have, in ways, far exceeded my actual studies. As I am grumpy, I am writing a top-10 list of these musings. Enjoy...and if you don't, don't post because I'll just delete your ass.
10) Alcohol may not fix everything but it definitely makes it better in the short term.
9) Smoking can be justified...so can any other bad habit.
8) It's not about who you kiss - it's about whether his pants came off.
7) Hooking up is acceptable because understandably you're not giving up men (or women) but you are postponing a relationship until you actually have time to function as a human being.
6) Coffee is a liquid, therefore it counts as water. Gin is also a liquid.
5) All-nighters are part of life. They're either preparing you for something...like a baby or a location where the bars don't shut down at 2am.
4) Your high school teachers are wrong. All of it.
3) It is possible to get free trips...and it's amazing!
2) Big words are good...but swearing makes you feel better!
And my all-time lesson from university which was learned outside the classroom
1) Don't date anyone who you may need in the future. It gets awkward.
10) Alcohol may not fix everything but it definitely makes it better in the short term.
9) Smoking can be justified...so can any other bad habit.
8) It's not about who you kiss - it's about whether his pants came off.
7) Hooking up is acceptable because understandably you're not giving up men (or women) but you are postponing a relationship until you actually have time to function as a human being.
6) Coffee is a liquid, therefore it counts as water. Gin is also a liquid.
5) All-nighters are part of life. They're either preparing you for something...like a baby or a location where the bars don't shut down at 2am.
4) Your high school teachers are wrong. All of it.
3) It is possible to get free trips...and it's amazing!
2) Big words are good...but swearing makes you feel better!
And my all-time lesson from university which was learned outside the classroom
1) Don't date anyone who you may need in the future. It gets awkward.
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