Good evening blog world!
I read an article tonight about picking up a fling on V-Day. It had the same old stuff - be safe, use protection, be polite and to 'keep the drinks flowing." I'm assuming they mean alcohol...which I have some issues with.
Now, don't get me wrong - I'm not prudish. I have woken up a few times, paying homage to the porcelain princess and wondering how I can (graciously) kick last night's leftovers to the curb.
That being said, some of my biggest mistakes have been while I'm drinking. After the alcohol wears off, the 'wow, did I really just do that?' sets in. It's not unrealistic expectations that I'm going to fall in love - but I'm definitely more jaded about love than I once was. Part of this might be my love them, leave them, drunk dial them, leave them, attitude. It adds up over time.
Second point - keeping drinks flowing seems to be something men do. A lot. To women. Pressuring them,. To drink. Get it? Drunk girls = easy lay. If you don't agree, that's fine but sadly - it's an equation that seems to be quite popular with the asshats of our society. Women, you don't want to keep the drinks flowing - you want to stay pretty darn sober.
Third point - if you can't do it sober, don't do it. My only regrets are doing things I wouldn't do sober. There's not many of those...but the ones that are on there are the ones I usually felt bad about. They're the ones where I found out the guy had a family or a few other instances where things went horribly wrong. Drinking has led to my being arrested once (underage so awhile ago), in trouble with campus security, getting slapped in the face by a guy and not knowing what to do (I ran away into the cold in -30 weather and had to wait for a taxi...in a dress). Being sober has it's advantages because you're your own smart, wonderful self. If you need to drink to hook up, reevaluate things.
That being said, there's also the drinking buddy. He's the guy I call, we drink, he talks Spanish, I swoon...oh wait...yeah, that went to hell. Not only did I lose a fun guy, I lost one of my closest friends because I. Was. An. Idiot. I don't believe that most f-buddies remain on good terms. I just don't. I don't have stats, I do have personal experience and for me (in this instance), it's enough. It's easy to mistake sex with love...and easier to mistake it with love when you're friends with someone.
Oh, and let's not forget the booty call. Way to make a person only matter for their genitals. Fact is, if you can't invite them to your houseparty/night out/dinner/anything, you've said "I only like you for your penis/vag" and sometimes that hurts. Furthermore, it can take awhile for people to feel used...but when they do, IT SUCKS!
Maybe I'm just growing up or maybe I've finally stopped worrying about being wanted because I love myself. Maybe I've just realized that being alone has HUGE advantages (do you know how long it's been since I've shaved my legs?) and that I enjoy my 'me' time. Or maybe it's just that I've seen one too many broken hearts.
I'm not a one-night stand kind of girl, don't booty call me - and for the love of all that is good - make sure you can do whatever you're doing sober before you THINK of doing it drunk. Don't cry over something that can be avoided by grabbing water instead of tequila. Make mistakes, grow from it but don't be afraid to not make mistakes and learn from other (more spontaneously stupid) people's decisions.
Have a Happy Valentines Day everyone! If you're single, my next blog is a Top 10 list of why it rocks!