There are moments I tend to avoid - the awkward bumping into the ex moment, the moment where you have a huge chunk of spinach in your teeth right before doing an interview, the moment where you break down over something stupid just because it's a bad day and the moment when you give up on a friendship.
Like every other relationship, friendships take two people - and sometimes, due to extenuating circumstances or complete stupidity, friendships break. Sometimes it's an 'uncontested' break - the two friends just stopped hanging out, had different interests etc. Sometimes, it's petty - jealousy, finding a boyfriend/girlfriend. Other times, it's just because while one person is trying - there's just absolutely no reception. There's only so many times (And I'll admit - people get a LOT) a person can be rejected, dejected, passed off, excused, etc etc ETC...before it's just enough.
I'd rather look like an idiot and attempt to keep a friend through trials and stress in their life, but there comes a point when I give up.
I'll never admit to being 'the perfect friend' - If stressed, I'm a terrible person to be around. I snore. I get irritated easily. I have the attention span of a blowfly. I constantly change my mind. I can even be mean sometimes - that's right, downright mean...but I'm persistent. I want to be engaged in my friends lives, do what I can to help - even just offer cookies or coffee breaks. I want to do what I can to support them - but after awhile, it starts to get really personal.
So, I give up...funny how it's easier to think those words than it is to actually write them.
Saturday, April 28, 2012
The night owls guide to University
I have a dilemma - while not extremely serious, I am wondering how I am going to deal with this. I am a night owl - I spent 10 hours in my chair this morning/afternoon doing everything BUT study - I tried...I ended up getting distracted throughout the day though.
Here it is almost 1am and I'm writing down essay ideas for my exam like crazy! It's rather awesome however...
What happens when I actually need to get a 'real' job that has set hours? I'm assuming my strongest work will be done at night no matter what - but the problem is I still will be working 9-5 or so...and I'm rather useless before noon.
So what do I do? While I am trying - and I am trying hard - I wonder if there is a way to LEARN to be a day person, not a night person.
Like I said, what do I do?
Here it is almost 1am and I'm writing down essay ideas for my exam like crazy! It's rather awesome however...
What happens when I actually need to get a 'real' job that has set hours? I'm assuming my strongest work will be done at night no matter what - but the problem is I still will be working 9-5 or so...and I'm rather useless before noon.
So what do I do? While I am trying - and I am trying hard - I wonder if there is a way to LEARN to be a day person, not a night person.
Like I said, what do I do?
Thursday, April 26, 2012
100 books over the summer
So, as many people know - I have goals over the summer and typically, they're good ones...don't die, don't get arrested...read a LOT. So, I'll be keeping record of the books I read (the good, the bad, and the trashy) on my blog with a very short description of them once read. They will be labelled 100 books 2012
Currently, I am working on:
1. The Fat Girls Guide to Life - Wendy Shanker explains that she is a fat girl and she's accepted it. Now she wants everyone else to accept their body too. It's interesting to skim but honestly, unless you get it for 25 cents like I did, don't bother. I won't be keeping this one around.
4. Extreme Cuisine - Lonely Planet put out a book of exotic (aka gross) food that people could try if willing - I don't know as I'm willing.
2. Dear Jo- Christina Kilbourne (just started)
3. So Hard to Say- Alex Sanchez - Teenager has to admit he's gay. This book had a decent plot but was rather juvenile. I wasn't a huge fan, the writing was 'meh' and I could get the same story watching Glee.
May 1
5. The Other Boleyn Girl - Phillipa Gregory - I can't put this book down. Absolutely love it! It's historical fiction surrounding the many (and there were many) trysts of King Henry.
6. The Nanny Diaries - If you haven't read it (or worse, watched the movie), go pick up a copy and read it. Grover is lovable and still a real child, Nanny is well rounded. My only complaint was that she had way too much time as a student.
7. Monster Planet - The world is taken over by zombies, some of which have brains. What better way to make money than sell human flesh, right? (Just started)
May 6
8. The Prairie Bridesmaid - I'm pretty sure this book was written for me: girl keeps going back to abusive boyfriend until her friends step in. She finds out, after truly leaving, what makes her happy. I absolutely loved this book. It had the right amount of humour, compassion between friends, and although was a 'break up book' didn't make me feel depressed. Oh, and it's Canadian :)
9. Hollywood Dream- Yes, another melodramatic girly book depicting a woman who falls in love at the most horrible time and has to travel across the world to fix her mistakes. If you're a fan of fashion or just want a good, summer afternoon with a glass of wine book, check it out!
May 18
10) Hope In A Jar- I liked it just because it's a 'fun read'...about a girl that finds her boyfriend cheating and tries to transform herself before her 20th high school reunion (ended up loving it - good summer read)
11) Unforgettable - Just another good read, spoiled girls at boarding school
12) Artemis Fowl - Seems interesting enough...and ended up hating it!
May 24
13) The Borgais Bride- Loved it enough I'll never give it up. One of my favorite summer reads already
14) Crank - While I suppose most people would call this poetry, to me - the ramblings of a crack head just don't seem overly poetic and makes a good story.
June 27
15) Violets Are Blue
16) The Scarpetta Factor
17) Pirate Latitudes
18) Dating Detox
July 3
19) Waking the Witch - Kelly Armstrong
20) Frostbitten - Kelly Armstrong
21) The Beach House - Patterson
22) Swimsuits - Patterson
23) The Walking Dead Comic Series
24) Chew Comic Series
25) The BFG
26) Runaway Ralph
27) Odd Mom Out - love this book
28) Reversible Errors- Scott Turow
29) 2nd Chance - Patterson
30) Kiss the Girls - Patterson - another one of my favorites
31) The Beach Road - Patterson (I'm on a kick with the patterson books, eh?) - read this! one of my newest favorite books!
Currently, I am working on:
1. The Fat Girls Guide to Life - Wendy Shanker explains that she is a fat girl and she's accepted it. Now she wants everyone else to accept their body too. It's interesting to skim but honestly, unless you get it for 25 cents like I did, don't bother. I won't be keeping this one around.
4. Extreme Cuisine - Lonely Planet put out a book of exotic (aka gross) food that people could try if willing - I don't know as I'm willing.
2. Dear Jo- Christina Kilbourne (just started)
3. So Hard to Say- Alex Sanchez - Teenager has to admit he's gay. This book had a decent plot but was rather juvenile. I wasn't a huge fan, the writing was 'meh' and I could get the same story watching Glee.
May 1
5. The Other Boleyn Girl - Phillipa Gregory - I can't put this book down. Absolutely love it! It's historical fiction surrounding the many (and there were many) trysts of King Henry.
6. The Nanny Diaries - If you haven't read it (or worse, watched the movie), go pick up a copy and read it. Grover is lovable and still a real child, Nanny is well rounded. My only complaint was that she had way too much time as a student.
7. Monster Planet - The world is taken over by zombies, some of which have brains. What better way to make money than sell human flesh, right? (Just started)
May 6
8. The Prairie Bridesmaid - I'm pretty sure this book was written for me: girl keeps going back to abusive boyfriend until her friends step in. She finds out, after truly leaving, what makes her happy. I absolutely loved this book. It had the right amount of humour, compassion between friends, and although was a 'break up book' didn't make me feel depressed. Oh, and it's Canadian :)
9. Hollywood Dream- Yes, another melodramatic girly book depicting a woman who falls in love at the most horrible time and has to travel across the world to fix her mistakes. If you're a fan of fashion or just want a good, summer afternoon with a glass of wine book, check it out!
May 18
10) Hope In A Jar- I liked it just because it's a 'fun read'...about a girl that finds her boyfriend cheating and tries to transform herself before her 20th high school reunion (ended up loving it - good summer read)
11) Unforgettable - Just another good read, spoiled girls at boarding school
12) Artemis Fowl - Seems interesting enough...and ended up hating it!
May 24
13) The Borgais Bride- Loved it enough I'll never give it up. One of my favorite summer reads already
14) Crank - While I suppose most people would call this poetry, to me - the ramblings of a crack head just don't seem overly poetic and makes a good story.
June 27
15) Violets Are Blue
16) The Scarpetta Factor
17) Pirate Latitudes
18) Dating Detox
July 3
19) Waking the Witch - Kelly Armstrong
20) Frostbitten - Kelly Armstrong
21) The Beach House - Patterson
22) Swimsuits - Patterson
23) The Walking Dead Comic Series
24) Chew Comic Series
25) The BFG
26) Runaway Ralph
27) Odd Mom Out - love this book
28) Reversible Errors- Scott Turow
29) 2nd Chance - Patterson
30) Kiss the Girls - Patterson - another one of my favorites
31) The Beach Road - Patterson (I'm on a kick with the patterson books, eh?) - read this! one of my newest favorite books!
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Writing is a superpower
As I'm venturing out beyond 'journalism' in my writing, I've realized something about myself - it's not about the "job", it's about the passion I have for the work I do. Writing is a way for me to leave my mark on the world, a way for me to impact enormous amounts of people (someday) by what I have put on paper.
I am actually at peace with my writing now - not stressed out about what my bosses are going to think or what the repercussions of dropping an F*bomb may be. I love writing because of what I can accomplish with it - I can preserve a memory, I can stop time. How many other activities do you get to have a superpower?
I am actually at peace with my writing now - not stressed out about what my bosses are going to think or what the repercussions of dropping an F*bomb may be. I love writing because of what I can accomplish with it - I can preserve a memory, I can stop time. How many other activities do you get to have a superpower?
Beyond language is emotion
Major (Ret'd) Harold A. Skaarup told two other stories that broke my heart once again. After listening to Stephen Puddicomb speak, I'm still not really 'over it' and I just wanted to run out of the auditorium but as always, I'm so glad I stayed.
He told us a story of ten villagers who didn't speak his language but linked arms to stop them from hitting a mine in the road. They couldn't thanks the strangers because there would be retaliation but these people risked their lives to save his.
The second story involved a man running towards Skaarup's convey, arms flailing wildly. Of course, numerous guns were aimed on him quickly - who was he? Was he dangerous? What did he want? There was a flash flood that had caught two children. One was rescued but the other, a little girl, was still under the water. The water was sludge and sewage but one of the men Skaarup was with jumped in and hauled the little girl out. In the water, he began giving her mouth-to-mouth but no one was able to say it had been too long - about 15 minutes. The little girl was dead. The villagers came around to the man and although they couldn't speak in his language, just put their hands on his shoulder to say 'it's okay, we know you tried.' The power of these sorts of stories - the ones that aren't told - are just overwhelming. The village had previously been hostile but because of this, because this man had tried to save this little girl, they were always welcome.
I can't really state an overarching moral or life-lesson to this story - it's heartbreaking and sad - but the power that was in those words, the crack in his voice, the apology for showing true emotion, that's true humanity. It's more powerful than a few words on a blog - but it needs to be remembered.
Skaarup left us with this and so, I'm going to finish with it.
"We are not over there to fix the problem...We're trying to keep it there so it doesn't come here."
He told us a story of ten villagers who didn't speak his language but linked arms to stop them from hitting a mine in the road. They couldn't thanks the strangers because there would be retaliation but these people risked their lives to save his.
The second story involved a man running towards Skaarup's convey, arms flailing wildly. Of course, numerous guns were aimed on him quickly - who was he? Was he dangerous? What did he want? There was a flash flood that had caught two children. One was rescued but the other, a little girl, was still under the water. The water was sludge and sewage but one of the men Skaarup was with jumped in and hauled the little girl out. In the water, he began giving her mouth-to-mouth but no one was able to say it had been too long - about 15 minutes. The little girl was dead. The villagers came around to the man and although they couldn't speak in his language, just put their hands on his shoulder to say 'it's okay, we know you tried.' The power of these sorts of stories - the ones that aren't told - are just overwhelming. The village had previously been hostile but because of this, because this man had tried to save this little girl, they were always welcome.
I can't really state an overarching moral or life-lesson to this story - it's heartbreaking and sad - but the power that was in those words, the crack in his voice, the apology for showing true emotion, that's true humanity. It's more powerful than a few words on a blog - but it needs to be remembered.
Skaarup left us with this and so, I'm going to finish with it.
"We are not over there to fix the problem...We're trying to keep it there so it doesn't come here."
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