Understandably, I know 'blue waffle' is not a real disease :P
The funny thing is my friend decided to show it to me and you have to admit, it looks painful (I also learned how to make it with some blue dye and your hands...that was interesting).
My laugh was at such an absurd name...special fried rice is another one...
For future notice: If your vagina turns Smurf and begins to explode, after snapping a pic and sending it to my blog, then go to the doctor...you probably have a yeast infection caused by a blue slushie...
Monday, February 27, 2012
Google searching is never a good idea
Have you guys ever heard of something called blue waffle? Seriously, if you have friends that hate you as much as I do, you'll see pictures.
EW EW EW EW EW! Note: it's not a Smurf food.
EW EW EW EW EW! Note: it's not a Smurf food.
The drama that is me and Pookie
Some of you may have wondered why I posted a picture and said "boyfriend" instead of "ex-boyfriend"...Well, in epic-Sammy style, I wrote a poem for your enjoyment!
I broke up with my boyfriend,
Because he was moving away,
I promise it wasn't because I thought
He was actually gay (he's not).
We both said that long distance
Would never work, we'd pass
I agreed then recanted...
Then I dumped his ass.
I cried a lot the following day,
Tears, snot bubbles and more,
I pretty much just said "I'm sad"
Right down to my Sammy-core.
So I wrote an editorial
And sent it to him as it'd be read,
By all the people who read the paper...
A thought that still instills dread.
He asked to talk and I agreed,
What else could I do?
I felt like something Luther liked...
under someone's shoe.
He showed up drunk to residence,
I didn't see it going well
But he said the right words...and remembered them,
So now things are back to swell!
So with this crappy poem,
He and I are doing great,
'Cause we may try long distance,
And just keep on having dates!
I broke up with my boyfriend,
Because he was moving away,
I promise it wasn't because I thought
He was actually gay (he's not).
We both said that long distance
Would never work, we'd pass
I agreed then recanted...
Then I dumped his ass.
I cried a lot the following day,
Tears, snot bubbles and more,
I pretty much just said "I'm sad"
Right down to my Sammy-core.
So I wrote an editorial
And sent it to him as it'd be read,
By all the people who read the paper...
A thought that still instills dread.
He asked to talk and I agreed,
What else could I do?
I felt like something Luther liked...
under someone's shoe.
He showed up drunk to residence,
I didn't see it going well
But he said the right words...and remembered them,
So now things are back to swell!
So with this crappy poem,
He and I are doing great,
'Cause we may try long distance,
And just keep on having dates!
The art of cheating in student politics
After a weekend of gloom and doom, I'm back to my typically witty and absolutely sexy self (that is, I no longer have puffy eyes, bright red cheeks and snot bubbles worse than a 3-year old). With that, I now have a lovely take on student politics and the art of cheating.
If you want to win by all means necessary, follow these instructions:
1) Sacrifice your immortal soul to Hades- You understand that being a politician means you're better off without a soul anyways, right? Sell it off and make a deal. It's not like it's worth much anyways - I mean, you ARE running for politics, right?
2) Offer sexual favours- I do suggest you actually use protection and don't shy away from even the dirtiest of dirty - you're mouth is sure to spew more than lies after this year is over.
3) Step away from your social circle - Here's the thing - if you get your boyfriend to put up additional posters, it's dirty...however, if you get a friend of only your boyfriends, it's fair game. Yes, the posters will be torn down (or buttons confiscated) but always go a step or two outside your social circle.
4) Show off your 'ass'ets- We've seen it work before. It works better for women though - penis just isn't that sexy (sorry guys).
5) Get the international vote- Make friends, embrace culture, date a foreign exchange student...do what it takes to suck up to the foreign students.
6) Badmouth- Oh, spread a rumour about how they love their dog just a wee bit more than one should. Cheating on their boyfriend with another electoral? Scandalous. Did they sell their soul to Hades? Badmouth them and make them look terrible!
7) Rig the computers - Oh wait, this was done before but don't do it yourself.
8) Poison- If your competitors are incapacitated, they can't run. (Note: Doing illegal things are still illegal so don't blame me for going to jail)
9) Offer alcohol- Vote for me, get a shot!
10) Blame the newspaper - Because student media is always out to get the SRC...
Welcome to the world of student politics...no holds barred with rules in place. Good luck to the candidates at every school at this time.
Also, if you blame me for your herpes because you tried to screw the entire school for votes...well, it's probably a good thing that you didn't get in because that was just dumb!
If you want to win by all means necessary, follow these instructions:
1) Sacrifice your immortal soul to Hades- You understand that being a politician means you're better off without a soul anyways, right? Sell it off and make a deal. It's not like it's worth much anyways - I mean, you ARE running for politics, right?
2) Offer sexual favours- I do suggest you actually use protection and don't shy away from even the dirtiest of dirty - you're mouth is sure to spew more than lies after this year is over.
3) Step away from your social circle - Here's the thing - if you get your boyfriend to put up additional posters, it's dirty...however, if you get a friend of only your boyfriends, it's fair game. Yes, the posters will be torn down (or buttons confiscated) but always go a step or two outside your social circle.
4) Show off your 'ass'ets- We've seen it work before. It works better for women though - penis just isn't that sexy (sorry guys).
5) Get the international vote- Make friends, embrace culture, date a foreign exchange student...do what it takes to suck up to the foreign students.
6) Badmouth- Oh, spread a rumour about how they love their dog just a wee bit more than one should. Cheating on their boyfriend with another electoral? Scandalous. Did they sell their soul to Hades? Badmouth them and make them look terrible!
7) Rig the computers - Oh wait, this was done before but don't do it yourself.
8) Poison- If your competitors are incapacitated, they can't run. (Note: Doing illegal things are still illegal so don't blame me for going to jail)
9) Offer alcohol- Vote for me, get a shot!
10) Blame the newspaper - Because student media is always out to get the SRC...
Welcome to the world of student politics...no holds barred with rules in place. Good luck to the candidates at every school at this time.
Also, if you blame me for your herpes because you tried to screw the entire school for votes...well, it's probably a good thing that you didn't get in because that was just dumb!
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