Monday, January 9, 2012

The questions I wish I could ask

Have you ever had one of those days when you want to ask a question and just can't? Whether it's in a job (or outside the job because I don't post about work on here unless it's good things), I've had one of those days where everything I want to ask would be politically incorrect.

Instead of getting slapped numerously, I'm writing all the questions I wanted to ask but didn't...

-Did you gain weight over Christmas?
-So, how good is he in bed to give him that much money?
-Are you stupid or just so cocky that you think you'll never get caught?
-Are your parent's siblings?
-Do you not check you e-mails or are you afraid of me?

Over lunch:
-Is there a reason you're speaking to me as though you're important?
-Aren't you just a glorified secretary?
-Isn't that your job?
-Do I care about your squeamish issues?

-Why are you complaining about being fat when you're eating crap and admittedly not exercising?
-Why are you making me explain this yet again?
-Would you like to keep insulting me or would you rather I just slap you now?

If you think this may be about you, it probably isn't...but you may want to reevaluate why you think it is about you in the first place.


  1. Haha, too funny Sam. One thing I always want to say to people is, "Don't insult me. I have more education than you, am smarter than you, and therefore, know more shit than you" and "I just totally caught you staring at my package"

  2. How about...
    Wow, did you get up on the wrong side of bed this morning?

    LOL <3 U Sam!