Last night, I had a minor meltdown. I felt completely lonely and just sat in my room and cried. Now, for those of you who know me, stop freaking out and assuming I've gone completely bonkers.
The diet I'm on - which admittedly is unhealthy and won't be kept up for very long until I go back to sensible portions and tons of veggies - has me stressed. I'm trying to fit into a dress that I bought and realized doesn't fit as nicely as I would like.
It fits...but it reminds me of a book I read in high school where a sister (Jessica Wakefield from Sweetvally High), compared her sister to a sausage as she had gained weight and didn't fit into a size 8. I am my very own vegetarian sausage in a dress.
Since I've been back to UNBSJ, I've lost 9 pounds and 2 inches from my stomach (since the 3rd). My arms are down another inch from this summer and I've finally got back to drinking water (well, water with the aid of Crystal Light). I go to the gym for 45 minutes each morning Monday to Friday and for 30 days, I'm doing the 'Jillian Michael's 30 day Shred," of which I am currently in day 5.
I'll admit, I'm always skeptical of workout videos but results were typical in 5 days so I figured I'd try it out...that and I downloaded it. Okay, the bloody video killed me in day 1 and 2. 3 minutes strength, 2 minutes cardio, 1 minute abs and do that 3 times. By day 5, I actually am looking forward to it. I've got more muscle definition than I think I've ever had (thank you push ups) and I'm not mimicking a bowl full of jelly around the tummy area as much.
Although I'm exercising correctly (I'm high energy as is and have been in pretty good shape for the past 6 months), my diet is crap. Yesterday was juice, coffee, water, and a smoothie for supper. Today is about the same.
In my thinking, a diet is short term to achieve a goal...it may be to fit in a dress or to lose 5lbs but it isn't a 'good' thing. Diets may give you results but it's taxing on the body and honestly, I'm not a crier and I'm an emotional wreck.
While putting myself through this torture for a few pounds, I'm already finding ways to modify my workouts, eat leaner and more healthy, and curb cravings for sugary foods. For me, this restriction is a test for a week or two but after that, I'm introducing the foods that I crave and miss...sushi, baked seafood, dark leafy greens, cauliflower, sweet potato, vegan cream cheese, yogurt, fresh fruit...hmm, no chocolate on that list at all.
I officially cannot wait until I get back from BC to cook for myself and get a big plate of warm spinach salad with balsamic vinegar and salmon. Maybe some grilled red peppers with it...yummy!
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