Ways to respond to I love you

I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend today, when he said "I'll see you later, hun" or something like that...I heard (the most dreaded sentence ever) "I love you, hun."  Seriously? Already? Ew! No.

My (eloquent and professional as ever response) was..."Get the *$% out of my house."  Classy, right?  The sheer desire to vomit on his shoes was overwhelming...yet, as I laugh over the miscommunication, I wonder if there are other ways to handle the "I love you/I don't love you back" situation.

So, in tribute to my toots, ten responses to "I love you"

1) What was that? No sorry, still can't hear...oh look the circus - Pretend you can't hear them and distract.  It can be anything - guys are relatively simple.  "Oh look, beer" or "Oh look, a short skirt" or even "Oh look, Justin Beiber"...doesn't matter...just use it.

2)  Right back atcha... The point of this is to avoid saying anything...it can be followed by buddy, chum, pal, friend...a gentle punch to the shoulder and laugh it off...he did mean it like a friend, right?

3) Throw up -- This is not recommended as it hurts and you know, someone's gotta clean it up...but it get's the point across.

4) That's nice - This one isn't friendly...it's a little cold.  But sometimes it's a good thing to be an ice queen.

5) No you don't -- Make sure they understand they don't really love you...it's the booze, bad chicken, dopamine, hormones, really good sex...repeat several times with a shiny watch in front of their eyes if necessary (use an Austrian accent for brownie points).

6) I love you too -- I'd try the other nine responses (except for maybe 3) but if you really feel that way...Say it.  If you don't and feel like lying...grow a vagina (balls are weak and lady parts can handle childbirth -- why do we said grow some balls again?) and smarten up.  Just don't lie.

7) We need to talk -- This is generally followed by a lengthy explanation, preferably with beer...or scotch...or tequila.  It doesn't need to be the talk...but talk.

8) Let's get married...and have kids.  C'mon...lets go get started.  I'll go off the pill rightnow! LET ME CALL MY MOM (insert sobs of joy here). Now...if you want to NEVER AGAIN EVER hear "I love you..." this may be the way to go.  Overreact to a point of crazy...think "mental institution" crazy...Start humming "here comes the bride" and ask him to swoop you over the doorways...he'll never. ever. ever. say it again (did I mention ever?).

9) Thank you My mother and I are at odds about whether this is a good one to use.  I say it's at least an acknowledgment...she says it's not the right thing to say...I say it' s better than throwing up on his shoes....

10) Get the ^&*( out of my house - It worked for me :)

What can I say? I'm slightly jaded at the ripe old age of between 25-27.  

 

Haunted America

So as I'm sick today, I thought it would be a wonderful idea to watch ghost stories...with a fever...and my eyes closed...crap.

I am currently thinking I'm going to watch Care Bears all night as not to have too many nightmares. 

The wonders of the Internet

I have this thought about the internet - it really causes more stress than it's worth sometimes.  For example, I could find out information on my ex, his new gf, his family, friends etc...But I don't want to.  I mean, why would I?  It would hurt me and do absolutely no good - but it's right there.  It's right by my fingers...

Curiosity is a good thing but if you're reading something that makes you unhappy - don't read it.  Walk away and pretend it NEVER existed.  It's hard sometimes (mostly because you're hoping that people have changed or maybe just fell in front of a crowd of people...I dunno...something) but just delete it from your favorites and ignore it forever.

I've had people say they don't like my blog - well, my advice is not to read it.  If it's not for school, it's not for pleasure obviously...why bother if it just makes you upset?  I mean, this is the place where I'm allowed to say what I'm thinking (within reason) and I've made no qualms about my rules on here:

1) I don't lie (my version of the truth may be different than other peoples as I do believe in fairies and unicorns so if you read about one in my blog, it's true).

2) I'm not always nice (I'm not always nice in real life either - get over it).

3) I delete comments if I don't like them - why? because I can.  Simply put, this is my little sanctuary and I'm just not in a place where I want to deal with other people's issues with my writings.

4) I don't use full names - I made that mistake once and deleted the post because it was stupid to do.  I did it purposefully as well - that was because I don't like him.

5) This blog is not about respect, love, peace and bunnies.  If you want that, check out questionablecontent.  It's not about that either but it always makes me happy...it's about me...and I'm not always loving or respectful...sometimes I'm hateful and mean...but I'll be honest about it.

So again, my blog = my world.  If you don't like it, I honestly wish you the best and hope you enjoy your corner of the web.  It's a nice spot most of the time and I hear you can find just about anything :p

Dishing about my diet

I realized last night that I spend more time on the bus than I do exercising.  My go-to foods have gone from veggies and hummus to pudding cups and oooh...caramel apple dip.  I'm exhausted all the time, my back is starting to hurt again and I'm not as happy as I was with my body.  So I stepped on the scales.

Crap.

In 2 weeks, I've gained almost 10lbs.  Now I blame Halloween, stress, schoolwork me.  I got lazy and I gained weight.  I stopped exercising.  I kept eating garbage and my poor tummy is expanding.  So then, as I panicked because I was an epic failure, I realized that it's time to stop pretending.

All that crap I told anyone about being healthy and vegan last year - it was crap.  I stopped eating.  I kept to about 500 calories every day and made myself throw up if I ate anything that made me panic.  I cried almost every night because I was never going to be thin enough and thin enough meant "good enough".  I was warped and I was scared...I finally snapped out of it but I'm not doing that again.  I'm still dealing with the damage that was done.   

But I'm not feeling good at this weight either.  So I made a conscious decision today to eat healthy.  Minimum of 1200 calories.  Get out and walk every day for at least 30 minutes or until I hit 5 hrs per week.  Every week until Christmas.  I get to eat whatever I want (veggie or not) on Friday at Suppertime (This includes a couple beers if I really want to).  This does not mean Friday goes into Saturday, into Sunday etc...

So here's the thing.  I need to learn how to develop a happy medium.  And this time, I'm taking it slowly.

And today, I passed on the cupcake because I just didn't feel like it.  Score 1 for me!

Oh, and a self-promoting plea: follow me on Twitter @Dazedstudent
   

The Facebook Faux pas of relationships

I like to believe that one can remain friends with "the ex" (insert ominous music here) even after one or the other has started a new relationship.  That being said, Facebook is the devil.  It messes up those lines of privacy that people once had, changed how much we WANT to know about other people, and made it so that we no longer control how much information we GET about the person.

Scenario: Bob and Maddie broke up mutually although Maddie did take it harder.  Bob got a new girlfriend and threw a bunch of pics on FB...Maddie drank a LOT that night to deal with those pesky feelings. 

So what exactly do you do when you start dating?  Here's a list of Top 10 FB do's and do not's when in a relationship:

1) If you can't keep your FB open, delete the person.  Yes it's harmless joking or you're used to it or whatever...that doesn't mean it's okay.  If you think someone may message you saying "lets have a sleepover" you may want to consider deleting them.  If you need to hide things, it's not healthy.  You can still be friends but keep it public - face to face (if it's just joking and he's not ACTUALLY asking you to sleep over). 

2) Relationship status can wait - you don't need to immediately put that you're in a new relationship.  Give it some time...seriously, rebounds don't count so give it a LOT of time.  Other people need time to adjust as well.

3) Pics: You don't need to blast your wall with pictures.  Yes you're full of happy hormones but that doesn't mean that everyone else is (or wants to see it).

4) Talk about who you're okay with and who you're not: If you're only friends with someone by means of FB, it may not be the best idea to keep them on when you get into a serious relationship...think about it - you dated them, they're still hanging around but you don't talk often...but they're a constant reminder to the other gal that you had a sex life before her.  Yes, we get it - you got laid...but if I'm not asking, FB shouldn't be doing the telling.  Friends, family, the pastor of your church...but not the pastor's daughter that you had in your parent's back seat.

5) The girl that's just too flirty - "oh hun, that's soooo funny xoxoxo"...gag.  My poor tummy always lurches when a see a Facebook-a-Ho.  They're the girl (or guy) that doesn't understand what they write lacks tone and any sort of background information (aka: they're not that bright)...so stop being stupid about it!  Don't keep the girl on there that is mushing up your Wall.  It's annoying.

6) Don't keep the boy that the new boyfriend hates: If he's not a friend, really doesn't matter and you know that the two don't get along, is it really going to hurt to let him go?  I'm not saying delete friends or seclude yourself from anyone else - but if you're not a true friend, do you really want to upset him accidentally?

7) Parents/Grandparents - this is always a maybe situation.  If you want privacy, don't expect the new beau to not write on your wall - but perhaps limit some settings?

8) Keep sharp: FB can get out of control very easily.  It's new technology and there are a lot of people that don't understand how to use it properly.  You don't need to advertise your entire life on it. 

9) Avoid Drama: Don't FB the guys ex.  Leave the past in the past...if you need to deal with someone/something, deal with the person you're with - not their baggage.

10) Off-line always matters more - Don't argue online - it never ends well.  The way he treats you offline matters more than stupid rants with the guys that don't involve you on his wall or the fact that he still says "boobies" or...well, just about anything else.  That being said, if he's flirting with someone else, address it.  You've got standards, keep them high. 

FB is like any other tool - use it wisely.  You need to control it, not let it control you.  I find it easier to delete the ex as I don't want to know about their life after.  I'm good - we're over, it's done...and it's too easy to fall back into thinking you like them.  Do what works for you - but keep the other person in mind.  And most importantly...COMMUNICATE!