After a weekend of gloom and doom, I'm back to my typically witty and absolutely sexy self (that is, I no longer have puffy eyes, bright red cheeks and snot bubbles worse than a 3-year old). With that, I now have a lovely take on student politics and the art of cheating.
If you want to win by all means necessary, follow these instructions:
1) Sacrifice your immortal soul to Hades- You understand that being a politician means you're better off without a soul anyways, right? Sell it off and make a deal. It's not like it's worth much anyways - I mean, you ARE running for politics, right?
2) Offer sexual favours- I do suggest you actually use protection and don't shy away from even the dirtiest of dirty - you're mouth is sure to spew more than lies after this year is over.
3) Step away from your social circle - Here's the thing - if you get your boyfriend to put up additional posters, it's dirty...however, if you get a friend of only your boyfriends, it's fair game. Yes, the posters will be torn down (or buttons confiscated) but always go a step or two outside your social circle.
4) Show off your 'ass'ets- We've seen it work before. It works better for women though - penis just isn't that sexy (sorry guys).
5) Get the international vote- Make friends, embrace culture, date a foreign exchange student...do what it takes to suck up to the foreign students.
6) Badmouth- Oh, spread a rumour about how they love their dog just a wee bit more than one should. Cheating on their boyfriend with another electoral? Scandalous. Did they sell their soul to Hades? Badmouth them and make them look terrible!
7) Rig the computers - Oh wait, this was done before but don't do it yourself.
8) Poison- If your competitors are incapacitated, they can't run. (Note: Doing illegal things are still illegal so don't blame me for going to jail)
9) Offer alcohol- Vote for me, get a shot!
10) Blame the newspaper - Because student media is always out to get the SRC...
Welcome to the world of student politics...no holds barred with rules in place. Good luck to the candidates at every school at this time.
Also, if you blame me for your herpes because you tried to screw the entire school for votes...well, it's probably a good thing that you didn't get in because that was just dumb!
Monday, February 27, 2012
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Stupid girl
My boyfriend get's upset when I say I still hear those words - stupid girl. For the longest time, I did everything in order to get my ex-husband back. The more I succeeded, the more I was getting him back because I was proving I wasn't stupid.
This year, albeit it slowly, I am doing more and more for myself. It's not about him, it's not about anyone else but I like being able to do things for others, to help other people and to feel good. I'm able to take pride in myself but more than that, I'm able to say I'm passionate about things again.
I'm still terrified of failing at times but I'm starting to realize that people fail. If I want law school badly enough, I'll get it - even if it means going into the states or someplace else in the world to do it. I'll get there. I'm scared to fail but I'm even more scared that I'll constantly be afraid of failure.
Now, if only I can get past my fear of relationships. Yes, I'm dating a great guy at the moment and my heart is on the other side of the world...I do like him - I love his company...I was miserable when I broke up with him but I really don't know what's up lately...I feel as though my guard is constantly up because I'm going to end up hurt - even though he's admitted I'm a little different...I'm pretty sure that's a good 'different' though.
This year, albeit it slowly, I am doing more and more for myself. It's not about him, it's not about anyone else but I like being able to do things for others, to help other people and to feel good. I'm able to take pride in myself but more than that, I'm able to say I'm passionate about things again.
I'm still terrified of failing at times but I'm starting to realize that people fail. If I want law school badly enough, I'll get it - even if it means going into the states or someplace else in the world to do it. I'll get there. I'm scared to fail but I'm even more scared that I'll constantly be afraid of failure.
Now, if only I can get past my fear of relationships. Yes, I'm dating a great guy at the moment and my heart is on the other side of the world...I do like him - I love his company...I was miserable when I broke up with him but I really don't know what's up lately...I feel as though my guard is constantly up because I'm going to end up hurt - even though he's admitted I'm a little different...I'm pretty sure that's a good 'different' though.
The argument for coffee
Hi, my name is Sam and I am a coffee-addict. Before trying to write an essay, I drank approximately 10 cups of coffee...why? Because it's yummy.
Problem: I really need to pee a lot.
Solution: Write from the potty...okay, so that doesn't work because the bathroom does not have enough outlets to plug in my computer (Like I own a laptop - I'm rather anti-technology).
So back to work and fingers crossed that my bladder becomes stronger!
Problem: I really need to pee a lot.
Solution: Write from the potty...okay, so that doesn't work because the bathroom does not have enough outlets to plug in my computer (Like I own a laptop - I'm rather anti-technology).
So back to work and fingers crossed that my bladder becomes stronger!
I sent my editorial to 4 people today because I still can't read it out loud: E (my friend who is leaving), my exboyfriend/friend, my mother, and my writer friend Violet. E sent me something that I am so glad to have read because, although I'm still sad, this editorial has been therapeutic (I promise I'll post it here when the paper goes out).
I learned that living with regret is no way to live. And that if you say what's on your mind (like considering long-distance) sometimes things work out.
I also learned that my friends have changed my life more than a good grade, more than losing weight and even more than leaving Justin. Now, I can cry because I'm sad - but I can also cry because I'm so happy for them and their opportunities.
the message about my editorial:
I’m so Proud of you Samantha; I know it must have been a little different writing this piece because it was a somewhat more personal to you than the average school article, but what it showed in light of that is your ability to connect with readers. I grantee you that anyone who reads this will be able to relate to it in a myriad of different ways. From beginning to end it was succinct, clear not too much fluff and very much to the point, with humour in all the right places. (I know it seems like I’m critiquing your work, but its building up to a point, promise!)
The article was very much to the point and yet broad enough to be relatable to your target audience. The soul of delivery is in the assertion of the writer’s personality within the topic subject, which you have done seamlessly. All this gives me a glimpse into your future and whether it’s writing closing arguments within a court room, or editing the jacket to your latest book. This is evidence that you have IT, the factor that is required to become a great Knight of the pen, a Composer of Words, the ability to convey both a perceived point and empathy to your chosen audience.
A rare gift given to few utilized by even fewer and no matter what obstacles life presents you with, let this always be a reminder to you, that you have IT all. The necessary skill and the ability to inform influence and entertain all at the same time (which leads me to believe that you you’d make a great Orator as well [a Politian maybe??! ;] )
When the time comes and you are faced with the need to convey to your audience your position or stand your ground just speak from the same place this article came from and I guarantee you will be an UNSTOPPABLE Force. Much like fish don’t try to swim they just do and birds don’t try to fly, your natural ability refined over the years will come to light.
I just hope that whenever that maybe, in whatever setting, I will get the opportunity to witness the spectacle that is S.Tinker ( or if I may Tinkertude!!! :D
)
I learned that living with regret is no way to live. And that if you say what's on your mind (like considering long-distance) sometimes things work out.
I also learned that my friends have changed my life more than a good grade, more than losing weight and even more than leaving Justin. Now, I can cry because I'm sad - but I can also cry because I'm so happy for them and their opportunities.
the message about my editorial:
I’m so Proud of you Samantha; I know it must have been a little different writing this piece because it was a somewhat more personal to you than the average school article, but what it showed in light of that is your ability to connect with readers. I grantee you that anyone who reads this will be able to relate to it in a myriad of different ways. From beginning to end it was succinct, clear not too much fluff and very much to the point, with humour in all the right places. (I know it seems like I’m critiquing your work, but its building up to a point, promise!)
The article was very much to the point and yet broad enough to be relatable to your target audience. The soul of delivery is in the assertion of the writer’s personality within the topic subject, which you have done seamlessly. All this gives me a glimpse into your future and whether it’s writing closing arguments within a court room, or editing the jacket to your latest book. This is evidence that you have IT, the factor that is required to become a great Knight of the pen, a Composer of Words, the ability to convey both a perceived point and empathy to your chosen audience.
A rare gift given to few utilized by even fewer and no matter what obstacles life presents you with, let this always be a reminder to you, that you have IT all. The necessary skill and the ability to inform influence and entertain all at the same time (which leads me to believe that you you’d make a great Orator as well [a Politian maybe??! ;] )
When the time comes and you are faced with the need to convey to your audience your position or stand your ground just speak from the same place this article came from and I guarantee you will be an UNSTOPPABLE Force. Much like fish don’t try to swim they just do and birds don’t try to fly, your natural ability refined over the years will come to light.
I just hope that whenever that maybe, in whatever setting, I will get the opportunity to witness the spectacle that is S.Tinker ( or if I may Tinkertude!!! :D
)
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